Adjusting Health Habits in Midlife: Black, White, & Grey Areas

In this episode, you'll hear:

1. Re-evaluating Food Choices: The hosts share their food choices and experiences, shedding light on the difficulty some people face in transitioning to healthier eating. Understanding the effects of high-bliss-point foods and how removing them can lead to a shift in desire is truly eye-opening.

2. Mindful Eating and "Worth It" Foods: The concept of mindful eating and the idea of enjoying everything in moderation without going overboard is a key takeaway from this discussion. Discover the importance of setting boundaries and parameters in all aspects of life, including work, food, and exercise.

3. Flexibility in Fitness: Taking into account midlife hormones, Amelia and Cam share their evolving attitudes towards exercise and the importance of honoring one's own body during workouts. Whether it's interval training, CrossFit-style workouts, or high-intensity training, there's something for everyone in this discussion.

00:00 Podcast will provoke self-reflection on common topics.
03:10 "I'm maybe into running and cycling."
08:45 Mom tries Crossfit-style workout with daughter.
10:29 Respect others' choices and give yourself grace.
12:35 Community support, exercise changes, symptoms in 30s.
18:42 UK-made plant-based clear no-calorie mocktail drink.
21:33 Ownership, autonomy, authenticity lead to regret avoidance.
24:35 Ibuprofen used sparingly for headache relief.
26:24 Questioning culture of relying on medication use.
31:07 Eliminate bliss point foods for improved health.
32:36 Indulgence turning into habit needs caution.
36:43 Making choices to improve work-life balance.

Stay Connected!
Amelia

• Website: https://www.thehelpfulplate.com/
• IG: https://www.instagram.com/thehelpfulplate/

Cam

• Website: https://www.camoyler.com/
• IG: https://www.instagram.com/heymomma_cam/
• TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@heymomma_cam

Midlife Mommas IG: https://www.instagram.com/midlife.mommas/

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Transcript

0:00

Cam, my friend invited me to go for a run, but, you know, I'm not really doing that anymore. I don't know. Should I go? Should I walk? Should Should I give it a try? I don't know. Hi. I'm Cam, Holistic health coach, mom to 2 humans and 4 pets. Hi. I'm Amelia, Laboratory scientist by day and food scientist by night. Welcome to our show. Join us as we share our holistic approach to life after 50. You can expect real life stories with a dash of humor and a ton of truth. If it happens in midlife, we're going to talk about it. So hit that subscribe button and

follow along. Heather: 0:40

We're the Midlife Mommas. Welcome to our show today. We are talking about negotiables. Like, is it negotiable? Is it is it a yes or a no for you? Or could it be a maybe? Absolutely, Cam. This is so like, I'm such a black and white person. I love things to be. I need to do it or I need not to do it, and there's so much that we talk about on a regular basis that for each individual may be a negotiable item, but it does require reflection and discernment. So I feel like this will be a good one. Yeah. It's the midlife awakening internal. Like, go inside because, ladies, you know this. You're bombarded with should, could, would, I should be doing this. And every single week inside my group, women asked me, I saw this on the Internet. Should I do this? Every single week, it happens. So we're gonna ask you to go inside and decide if this is a yes or a no for you. Yeah. And I'm sure besides the topics we're gonna raise, which are some pretty common ones that we talk about on the podcast a lot, there's going to be some things that you decide for yourself. And just throughout the week after you listen to this episode, if there are things that feel not quite right or you're questioning, go through it. It may be a negotiable item of maybe, maybe not, and maybe it's just sometimes yes, sometimes no. Exactly. You can change your mind at any given time. Right. Own it. You know? I mean, I I think about that. We can create our own narrative, and I think sometimes we forget that. And like you said, Cam, it's the midlife awakening. But in some situations and sometimes, it's hard to to take that authentic ownership of who we are and say, I this is what I'm deciding today, and it's okay if it's different tomorrow. Yeah. So if you're living by these, quote, unquote, rules that you've made for yourself and you're miserable, that is not life and health. And so that's exactly what we're doing. We're reframing what is moderation? When is it yes for you, when is it a no for you, and and why? And can it change at a drop of a hat? Yes. Yeah. Absolutely. So let's just talk about the first thing that we we did the opening, and I was, you know, a fictitious situation about being invited to run. And running in other high impact activities. We've talked about many times that your body requires different things in midlife, and running for me isn't an absolute yes like it was even a year ago. Oh, so you've changed that soon. Okay. Yeah. So you were, heck yes. I'm running all the time. And now you're like, well, maybe. Maybe. It's a total maybe for me now, and it's in very specific circumstances that I accept with the yes. Most of the time, it's like, walking is better for me, but I like running, and there are certain occasions where I'm like, I wanna even if it's just, like, 2 miles, I wanna do it. So, you know, maybe for, you know, and I had this situation with cycling last year. Last summer, I was started riding really heavy. I haven't done that this year, and riding a bicycle in the summertime is a very usual cycle, pun intended there. Like, I that's the summer thing I do. And it's been really freeing to say, I can go on a bike ride if I want to, and I did a few weeks ago with my friend, but it's not this urgent, like, I have to ride on Wednesdays Saturdays. Like, that's the plan. Like, that's what I gotta do. It's no. There's no more compulsion there. Yeah. So if you were on that strict plan and when's let's say, Wednesday, you're riding, and Tuesday night, you slept like horrible. Right. Yeah. And you didn't have enough calories on board. And but so the old you, you're saying, would have pushed through. Oh, a 100%. Okay. Yes. A 100%. That reminds me of CrossFit, which is coming up on the list. Yeah. So we can decide and change our minds at any given point if this is right exercise for us at at the time or not. Yeah. Right. But you've got a note here about, high intensity. Why don't we why don't we put that in there? Because I know you're very versed and have some feelings about that. Yeah. So I've personally been experimenting more with interval training. I call it high intensity repeat training. You may also see sit on the Internet, which is another version of interval training. And, basically, what it is is I add more rest. That's what the r stands for. It's repeat training. So it's, you know, 6 to 10 rounds of high intensity, like 10 to 20 seconds. I did jump rope last week, and I did ground to overhead. Just it literally it took me 5 minutes, and there was really no excuse, and I felt really good afterwards. Anyway, so you do the intense movement, and then you rest until you need to go again until you can go again. For me, I took about 22nd rest. So it was about one one to 1 ratio, work to rest ratio, but you can always add more rest to these. And it's just a great way to tip your dip your toe into intensity and honor your midlife hormones. So I love that. I don't do it frequently, but I'm kinda like you. I do feel good when I did do it. Now when we talk about doing that, Cam, do you have a preference of how many times a week to do it to make so that it's beneficial, or it's strictly on feel? So the guideline is no more than 45 minutes or around 45 minutes is the guideline. And so if you think about, like, an Orangetheory class or some kind of crazy intense work workout, that's an hour a day. And so we're talking about yes. A cumulative over over the week. So it's rough. You know, some days or excuse me. Some weeks, it may be closer to 45, but, honestly, I've been walking, I've been hiking, and I've been strength training some because I'm coming off a car and injury. And, that was missing. The cardio was missing. I'm like, I can do this and not hurt, and I feel good. So that's what I've been adding in lately. Awesome. Well, the next thing is kind of on your bailiwick, and it is CrossFit. Tell us a little bit, you know, and let just refresh our memory about that environment because I don't know if we've got some new listeners. They might not know your whole story. So tell us about that environment. Yeah. So I was a I started off as a runner, and then I was a runner and a CrossFitter. And I was basically running away from my forties. I I left the classroom. I wasn't teaching, and I was getting I was in the middle of a divorce, which is, you know, like transitions, and then I ended up moving. So all of those things happen. And for me, the CrossFit environment was very competitive, so I could compete with myself. And I could be physically in my body versus all the crazy runaway thoughts that were going on during the all my forties, and I in really enjoyed it. I had never lift lifted weights before. I had never used a barbell. So it's a competitive, environment to yourself. Some gyms have a more competitive environment against each other. My particular home gym was not like that. It was very family or in oriented, but it's very intense. There's a clock. How heavy can you go? How fast can you go? And, like, never miss a Monday. It was, like, hardcore that way. Yeah. So and at the time, it was perfect because, you know, believing every runaway thought I had in my mind, I'd rather phys physically feel it in my body than believe every thought I thought. So that was my escape. It's very competitive. So would you do it again? Like, is there any circumstance where you'd go back to a CrossFit gym even just for one time? To a gym? Absolutely. No. Oh, wow. Okay. But I do get the CrossFit, workout of the day, still email, and I read them. And I would say a few times a year, I'll do, like, a partner workout with my husband or friend. On occasion, I'll do a modify modified version of it. It definitely like, you check your ego, you check your expectations, and what you used to be able to do, in air quotes, like, when you were younger, and you just allow more rest. CrossFit's movements included strength. It includes 10 pieces of being fit. So it doesn't it's not only strength. It's not only speed or agility, but there's balance. There's actually 10 things. So we did a lot of gymnasticky kind of things Wow. Okay. Like pull ups and handstands, and I like that that that physical challenge. So I do read the workouts, but it's only a few times a year. That's interesting because my I don't know if my daughter is still a member there. When my daughter that lives in Vermont, there is a Crossfit esque, and I say that because there it's not a true Crossfit gym, but it's that style of workout. And, usually, when we go visit, which we'll go next month, I'll go with her, and she'll kinda help me. Like, the last time, I think, she did one thing and I did something else. But it was it was a class. Like, I did it. And it was challenging, but I don't think it I don't think it was something that I was on the couch for 3 days, and I feel like I modified both the you know, I didn't push through so many reps in the time, and I don't think the weight was as hard as I could push. You know what I'm saying? Like, it's 100%. Yeah. Modified a little bit. And I went with her. So, you know, we've talked about that. I did that cycling thing with her last year. So that's another negotiable part of things. You know, when there's a social aspect of somebody you love, it almost feels like I don't wanna say it gives you permission, but it there is more of an impetus, like, to do it, but not at some crazy rate. You know what I mean? 100%. Just like, you know, you're getting more out of the fellowship than whatever the thing is. Yeah. And CrossFit tangles the the community into that. So, like, I went to the new class. And so the new class, I knew who was gonna be there. I knew who was on their lunch break. And so the community was, like, when you don't feel it or you don't have the energy, you would go because of the community and then push yourself too far. You would push your people just because. And I I didn't know I was a competitive person. Like, I didn't know I had that gene in me, and it was fun. That's so interesting. Yeah. Yeah. And, you know you know, Cam, I think another thing I wanna point out to our community here is you may have friends that are your age or older if you're in the midlife journey. Maybe you know or don't know where they are in their perimenopause or menopause space, But maybe they're doing all this stuff that you've decided now you don't wanna participate at that rate, and it's okay for their choices to be different. So I love for everyone to like and approve of my choices. I tend to, you know, you know, look at me. So when there's a disagreement, it I don't think it hurts my feelings that this is a whole, you know, for agreement side note. But I think it's important to to give everyone, including yourself, that grace. Maybe they're not experiencing the same, either limitation or, you know, needs that you have. So what if they are still running, you know, 20 miles a week? That's okay. Go. Go, girl. Go do you. But also, if they're your girlfriend and they're suffering and they're, like, beating against the wall and it's not working anymore, just put a little bug in their ear that maybe you're doing too much for that time of life. So it can go either way. Right. Exactly. Exactly. And I also forget, Cam, that a lot of the people that I associate with, I don't really ask anyone's age. Mhmm. So some of my friends are, you know, 15 years younger than I am, and they are. I mean, they're literally in a different time and space. So, you know, it it we all have to be individuals. A 100%. I actually had coffee, let me think, Thursday with 2 younger women who live in Southeastern Indiana. So if you're listening, you know who I'm talking about. And they're much younger than me, and they're like, what the heck has happened to my body? Oh. And they're just like, I wanna be myself again, and they do listen to the podcast. And so, you know, and the whole conversation was just it was beautiful knowing that the I'm on the other side of it now. Like, I've already been through the muck of it all, and I can see the daylight on most days, and they're still like, what's happened to me? I don't understand. So it was just a beautiful conversation. So having that community and talking to other women, I think it's a good thing. And, you know, we did talk about exercise over coffee. Like, there are certain exercise that doesn't work anymore, and they're noticing that, but they're in their thirties. They're kind of like Jessica. You know? So, anyway, it happens. I've actually been thinking about my own story. Did I have symptoms in my thirties and forties and was just completely oblivious? And I I think I can say yes. I mean, like, extreme heavy periods for sure. Not feeling like myself, 100%. Like, I remember those things now. And, yeah. So I don't know. I don't really know what my perimenopause was. So that's why I'm glad we talk about it, so other people know. Right. Exactly. Well, this next one is, very we've talked about it a lot and let's just get it out. We're talking about alcohol. So is alcohol a negotiable thing? I haven't been a regular drinker. Alcohol a negotiable thing? I haven't been a regular drinker. It's probably been two and a half years, I think. I love wine. I love bourbon. I love beer. But I found that for me, Cam, drinking regularly did not service me. And there are times when I do consume, but it's nowhere near what it was. Occasionally, like last week, I I had a business, evening affair. And, you know, everybody else was well, not everybody. I think there may have been 1 or 2 other people not drinking, but I just it's just I can't do it anymore. So alcohol is definitely negotiable for me, but it's not a yes as much as it is a no. So when you were at the event, did you feel internal pressure to participate or yes, you did? Okay. Yeah. Well, how'd you handle that? Like, how'd you get through that? Well, I'll be completely transparent. It was actually a bowling we went bowling as a team building thing. And so I was at in a lane with 4 no. 3 other people, and they're all like, oh, you know, here because it was pizza and beer. Mhmm. And it was in a pitcher and they're like, oh, let me get you one. I'm like, no. I'm fine. I ended up going to the bar and getting water. So at least I had a physical cup, you know, to occupy my hands. But in that situation, you have the added pressure of your inactivity, and I consider myself athletic. PS, bowling is not my thing. And I was terrible. So there was a lot of internal conflict going on. I was fighting being embarrassed at not being a a good bowler. And here's the thing, if I had been drinking, I could have muted that that voice of insecurity by the alcohol, but I chose not to do that. So it was a little bit of a challenge. Yeah. I mean, alcohol does numb you out, but I don't know if it's helpful. I don't think it's beneficial for sure. Yeah. It's, a negotiable for me. Like, I'm curious about nonalcoholic beers in particular lately. I just picked up some more hot water if you haven't tried it. Yeah. It's really good. What do you like the lime or the mango? Or which one? I I don't know. I think the I think the lime is what I've chosen. I haven't drank a lot of it, but there is several not there are several nonalcoholic beverages with adaptogens in them now. And I think one I think the line is called elixir, but I could be wrong. It's like they're numbered. Mhmm. I love the concept of that. I the one I think I tried, like, the number 2. I didn't love it. Mhmm. So but, yeah, I I think exploring those sorts of things is really cool. Yeah. I have a I have a client. She swears by the corona nonalcoholic. She says throw a line on it. You're good to go. And when I was in St. Louis recently, my sister and I went to the liquor store and we looked at there's first of all, it was a huge liquor store. And the nonalcoholic section was overwhelming. It was really fun. So we picked 2 different beers. 1 was a line I'd heard of. Athletica is a brand. They have several different flavors. I've tried the IPA. I've tried the cerveza and maybe one other. So we tried one of those, and then we also picked one that was from, I think, California. I don't remember the name. It was like a Kolsch. It only had 17 calories, and it basically tasted like 17 calories. There was no change. Did it. But the can was really cool, and I, like, appreciated the artwork, so that's why we picked that one. I haven't tried the corona. I haven't been able to find it. I hear it's at Kroger. I just need to go and do that. But Yeah. Yeah. I'd like to try that too. The only one they're in in the back in the day, the only one available was the O'Doul's brand. I think that was an yeah. That was an Anheuser Busch product. Not great if you're used to beer. But, you know, back when I tried that, I was of age, obviously, and I liked beer and, at the time, didn't find any hugely deleterious effects if I didn't drink too much of it. So it's like, why drink something that's that I don't love? You know what I mean? Mhmm. But I think now I would take because, honestly, if there were no health detriments and there was no calories, I would choose real beer over hot water. Like, I would. Like, I like the flavor better. But I think hot water is a good substitute because it gives you that hoppy flavor. You can enjoy it. I love the effervescence. So I think there's good options out there. Yes. But we need to hear from you. Is there a good wine situation? Because I also love wine. Interesting. You should ask. I love wine too. I have tried what works for me if if as far as I haven't tried a nonalcoholic wine that I liked. Mhmm. Organic wine works better than nonorganic wine. If I can find an organic wine because most of those, I think, have slightly lower alcohol. I tried something you are gonna laugh so hard. I tried something that was a powder that you dissolve in water that's supposed to be like oh my god. It was so bad. It was so bad. Toothpaste last week, and now you're I know. Well, this is probably This yeah. I know. This was, like, 2 years ago. It was just so bad. I've kinda blocked out that memory, but I think I've told our listeners this before. Seed lip is what I choose. It's it's also termed as an elixir, but that's not in the brand. And it's made in the UK from plants. Like, basically, they, distill plants. And it's clear, it's no calorie, and I put a shot glass of that. And then we add the juice of a lime or a lemon and then top like it's bigger than an old fashioned glass, but not as big as a highball glass with tonic, like diet tonic. And it's great. Like, we drink that pretty much every night as our mocktail drink. But I've also experimented with, like, some some sort of fizzy water, pick your brand with some fruit or something, even mint. Muddled mint is really good. So there's different ways to create the experience without the actual alcohol. Yeah. I because of you, I gave my mom a bottle of seed lip for mother's day. So Which one did you get? Do you know which one you don't don't remember. No. Yeah. The Yeah. The spice the spice is my favorite. The garden is good, and on occasion, I'll get the, the citrus. They've got a new one that's not horrible that's agave, which is supposed to taste somewhat like tequila. It doesn't, but it's not a bad flavor. Like, it's good. And there's another one I found on Amazon that was a tequila like thing that was actually pretty good. I just don't remember the flavor. I mean, I don't remember the company. I I got her the garden. That sounded familiar. Yeah. The garden's good. I like the garden. Unfortunately, when you look up the recipes, I like your recipe way better. It's like simple A lot. I know. It's like simple sugar. Yeah. I was like, oh, no. No. That's not what we're trying to do. Yeah. They give you recipes like a cocktail that wants you to experience, and most cocktails are sweet. There's very few unless you drink bourbon meat or, you know, tequila, vodka, I guess, anyway. But, you know, most mixed drinks are sweet. They have some level of sugar in them, and that's what they're trying to make. I just wanna say from Kentucky, bourbon's meant to be drink. It's neat. I love yeah. Hey. I'm right there with you. Yep. I'm gonna drink it. Give it to me neat. Yeah. I think I've had 1 or 2 old fashions like, this is like dessert. No. I can't. I don't know. No. It's a no. So okay. Old fashions are a no for me. Too sweet. Yeah. That's good to know. So, anyway, we're we're on the fence, I guess. Some days it's a yes, some days it's a no, some things within the category are a no. Right, exactly. I totally agree with you. That's a good way to look at it. And that's the beautiful thing is you don't have to you don't have to ban it all. You know, you can pick and choose, which is nice. And also I just wanna say, like, back to the bowling thing, but we've all been in that situation where we feel like like, awkward. We wanna fit in Right. Right. But that's the midlife awakening. You can just say, no. That's not for me, and, like, be confident in your decision. I don't know. It's tough. I I get it's tough, but that's what it is. Right. And I and I think when we own our decisions and, have that autonomy and that authenticity, when we get to the other side, it's like, wow, I'm so glad I didn't partake. But it's tough in the moment. It can make you feel I love that you used the word awkward because that was exactly the word. And the more we bold and the more gutter balls I threw, the worse it got. And I kept thinking, I just need that one drink, and I would be, like, great. Yeah. I was, like, throwing strikes, baby. Yes. I'm like, nope. That is not me. I am not going there. And sometimes, Cam, you just have to force the joy. I mean, I know that sounds ridiculous, but telling yourself this is fun and and not withdrawing from the situation. But, you know, laugh with the other people. And if they make fun of you like, is this your first time? Just like, well, no, but it looks like it. I'm sure. You know, just Yeah. Go along with it. Like, it is not the end of the world to be embarrassed when you bowl a 50. You know what I mean? It's okay. I I do have one ad, like, a tip I heard on TikTok this last week about alcohol and midlife. So I think it fits into this conversation. Her tip was skip the 1st round. And and I really like that because first of all, do you wanna stay who what are these people like? Are you fitting in? Like, do you want you don't even know. So skipping the first round is a great way to reduce your alcohol consumption at a social event and also be authentic to yourself. I don't know. I thought that was a really good tip. I agree with you. And when we're in situations where we're not using plastic cups and it's just water, I can order club soda with lime and it looks like some sort, like a vodka tonic or something. So I can, people don't know unless they ask me. So if you're worried about the just the appearance, you can order something that looks like a cocktail that's actually not. Gotcha. Yeah. We went to the Indy 500, obviously, in May, not now, but, we had nonalcoholic beer, and I don't think anyone even knew. But because it looks like the same, and it wasn't like, hey, we're drinking nonalcoholic beer. We weren't advertising it. But, you know, wouldn't it be awesome just to say this is what I'm drinking and, like, own it instead of, like, disguising it? No one even asked, but yeah. Anyway. Yeah. It it is a conundrum for many. Most places that I go with my friends, if I'm not drinking, I'm the only one. Mhmm. I do have a coworker that doesn't drink. I at least, I don't think he does. I suspect he may be Muslim, but I'm not sure. I don't know if Muslim people don't consume alcohol at all. He's we haven't shared that level of detail of our lives, but he's just a super cool, like, chill, I am who I am guy anyway. So Mhmm. You know, I just totally respect that. That's I love that. We need to embody that and just own our decisions, good or bad, ugly. Absolutely. Or awesome. Okay. Next one, the use of anti inflammatories like Ibuprofen. So before we hit record, Amelia and I had a little conversation. So go ahead, Amelia. Yeah. So for me, this is also a little bit like alcohol. I don't use this on a regular basis even if I wake up with a headache and I know, oh, I probably didn't have enough to drink. For instance, I did a day trip to Atlanta last week and, you know, running through airports and going to a 2 hour business meeting and then going home did not was not conducive to normal hydration. So when I woke up on the next day, I was like, oh, I've had a little headache. I don't run to Ibuprofen. I try to abstain cam, but there are times when my work situation is pretty acute where if I have a headache and I'm kind of, like, not functioning well, I will take it. I mean, when I was doing triathlon, girl, I don't wanna say I ate it like candy, but I probably consumed it more than twice a week. Yeah. So I'm nowhere near that, but, for me, it's one of those things that I'm very mindful of, but I do have it in my house. Yeah. And this one's pretty much a no for me. Like, I don't take it. I I told Amelia, I just wanna feel the pain. So, anyway, I from a CrossFit point of view, some like a physical body point of view. What happens is if you have something swollen, that's your body's natural healing process. And Ibuprofen blocks your brain from understanding what's happening with your body. So swelling is just a way to protect that joint. And, also, you do need to keep moving. You need to keep moving because that's the only way the swelling and the lymph is actually going to move. It doesn't have a vessel like a blood vessel to move. It's actually from contracting muscles or, you know, gua sha or whatever. You know, the lymph the big 6 lymph drainage thing. That's the only way lymph can move is through movement. You know? Whether that's you using your hands or a tool or actually moving your body. So, yeah, I think IV proven to know for me. But, you know, Cam, I think this just speaks to our culture. Right? Like, we go in the drugstore, and there's aisles of over the counter medications. There are times when some of this can be helpful. But for people that are constantly having to take a stomach medicine like, Pepto Bismol or Imodium or a laxative or whatever. What is wrong here? It's another indicator of something is wrong with your gut. So rather than masking that or correcting that with medicine, why don't we look at what we're eating? So, you know, for nausea, because I do get a little bit motion sickness when we drive in the mountains, I always carry ginger pills. I carry them when I travel too. So, you know, I think that it just speaks to like, I use a neti pot every day. Like, I try to I try to avoid colds and flu when I can, but, you know, I try to do those things that actually help my body heal itself in the same way you're talking about. But we're a society conditioned for quick fixes, and we just go to the drugstore and pick up whatever, you know, we've been told is gonna fix that thing instead of letting our bodies do their thing. And I I just need to say that chronic use of an Ibuprofen or something like that is going to affect in a negative way your gut health. And so Right. Exactly. So it's kind of like this spiral. And then the your, you know, if your gut health is lacking, which we live in America, so guess what? Probably it is. There's so much crap in our food. Like, we have to be conscious of what we're ingesting and how is that going to help us heal, or is it going to cause another problem down the road? So that's my take on Ibuprofen. Yeah. Very good. But that leads us to the next topic, which are are, what I would consider, poor food poorer food choices, fast foods. I love some French fries, Cam. I mean, I absolutely. If my husband gets fries, I will eat some. Yep. But, you know, we know that those fries were probably fried in seals, and I know how bad that is. So, you know, I have fast food here, burgers, fries, ice cream, pizza, lunch meat, those things that are that, you know and I'm the first to admit, my husband is I call it a sensitive constitution because he's reached a point where some of those foods, he is so aware of how they will make him feel. He doesn't desire them. I love ice cream. I love a good old fashioned hot dog, and it is terrible. Like, there's nothing in that that's good. So but, you know, is that a nonnegotiable? Is that always a no? Well, first of all, I believe that pizza can be healthy. So so it's a yes. Pizza is always a yes for me, unless it had gross sausage pork products on it, then it's a no. But literally, cheese, bread, and sauce with a whole bunch of veggies, that sounds good to me. So I'm I always will say yes to pizza. I will always say no to lunch meat. So that's a no for me, and ice cream's a yes. And french fries are a maybe. Like, we went out to dinner Friday night or I think it was Friday. Anyway, and the fries are just okay there, and he ordered some and I had 1 or 2. And I was like, first of all Yeah. They're gross, and it feels like there's sugar on them, and these are no. So it depends. Yeah. That's a great point. And I think when we assess these things, you know, you're you're really good. If you desire pizza, I know you're either gonna make it at home or go to a place where you can get something good. So when we talk about this with our listeners, if you're going with your family somewhere, assess the place. Like, you can get a sense of whether you can get a really good fresh made pizza with lots of veggies, or is it going to be, like you say, the gross sausage, which has the stuff in it? So, you know, when I said yeah. Yeah. When I said fast food, it was kind of like the gross stuff that, in my opinion, I'm not gonna lie, still taste good. Lunch meat is not always a no for me. I do get the Applegate Farms, version of that. My husband, loves turkey, and so and we do get, cheese as well. So, you know, I I understand the trade offs there, and a lot of people really like this stuff. I actually had my one of my my husband was telling me about a friend of his who'd lost some weight. And, you know, he was asking him, hey, man. You look great. What happened? Happened? Well, his daughter, who I think is about 19 or 20, had started cooking more healthfully, and he didn't like the smell of the food. Now I didn't get to the detail of what it was, and he's like, I don't like it, so I'm not gonna eat it. I'm a meat and potatoes guy. And so, you know, I think there are people I've had some friends who struggle with healthy eating because of the flavor. I personally think that we our taste buds have been hijacked in this country, and that we just lost the ability to really perceive those super yummy natural things, but thank goodness I still love them. And, you know, I think when you slowly eliminate that high high bliss point foods, which, you know, bliss point is the salt, the sugar, and the fat designed for you to be crave it more and be unsatisfied, like never full, for example, like Oreos. I don't know why I always think of Oreos, but you could eat them all and never be satisfied. Anyway, I think once you slowly get rid of those bliss foods out of your life, and then you dip your toe back in and try one, you're like, oh, Yeah. Oh, and my stomach hurts, and my energy is horrible, and my brain hurts. And, yeah, you don't even understand, like, what it's doing to you until you remove it and then put it back in for a second. And then, oh, I get it. Yeah. My husband is definitely in that camp. I mean, he would he you could put him in front of a buffet of every kind of doughnut there was, and he would not he would walk away from that. Like and there was a time, gosh, when we were first married, we go to Krispy Krispy Kreme when the hot donuts now sign was on. And we get it we, yeah, we get a dozen, and we polish off 8 for a piece and no problem. And, I mean, literally, he's just like, just the thought of that makes me feel ill. Yeah. I I would be asleep on the couch because I would have a sugar spike in the shower. Yeah. I'd have a headache for sure. I would be sleeping. Alright. Yeah. On the couch. So funny. Yeah. You have a note on here, like, when do these things that sneak back in, do how do you know if they became a habit, or is it just, like, once in a while? Do you have an answer for that? I don't really. And that was the the reason for the question because how do you know when an indulgent becomes a habit? And here was the thought, you know, just like with the bowling thing, it would have been very easy for me to be like, this is a special occasion. But when you string a special occasion together, because everything can be viewed as that. Right? And I remember when I was in my, I guess, early thirties, a lot of people were getting married and having babies, and it felt like every other week or maybe every week there was a baby shower or a wedding shower or a party. And so if there if you have the cake every time, it's hard to you you do or I did get addicted to it. So I I think that might be a little bit different, but if your habit is to say, oh, it's just a little piece or, oh, it's a special occasion, I'd be very careful about how frequently you you tell yourself that. And, you know, let's just add in the start over on Monday mentality because I see this often, like, trying to be perfect with x y z, whether it's your food or your exercise or whatever, and one little thing happens and you do one little slip up. Maybe you have the cake, you know, whatever. And then you're just like, screw it. I'm just gonna eat the cake all weekend. I'll just start over on Monday. And then what happens is that becomes the pattern, And there's no there's never a start over. And I would like to invite you to think that the start over can happen on the very next decision. Like, you don't have to wait. Like, why wait until Monday? I don't know. I think that's a great point, Cam, because it is an easy thing to to, you know, to give up. And if that's been your if that's been the way you've operated, it might be difficult to change that. But I agree. It's not the next day. It's not even the next meal. It like you said, it's the very next decision. Yeah. And I'm gonna tell my husband. I think he's working on that because he would have been the screw it. Let's go. Let's drink it all. Let's eat it all. And and he's getting better. Like, he's learning to, like, moderate himself. Well, you know, even if you get the cake, you can literally taste the first three bites and that next decision to eat the rest of the cake can be, I've had a taste. I liked it, and then push that away. So it's literally that much of a micro thing. It doesn't have to be, you know, don't push it out kind of thing. Yeah. I call those worth it foods. Is it worth it? Mhmm. And the French fries, are are they worth it? No. The ones Friday night were not worth it. The cake is probably yes because I really like icing. But, you know, if if what if the icing was horrible? You don't have to eat the whole thing. You do not have to do that. Like, if you don't enjoy it I think we haven't said this in a minute, taste everything, binge on nothing. So 100%. Yeah. We do need to reinforce that. Yeah. Is it worth it? Let's just live with that. For sure. And this last thing on our list, I do wanna touch on this because this is, like, comes to roost with me is work. I know this sounds silly and you might be thinking, work is not negotiable. How can you even bring this up? But working all the time is negotiable. I don't care what you do for a living. You should not be working 247. I don't think. I think that that is a choice. You know, you hear all of these horror stories about medical school students working 80 hours a week. I worked a long week this past week, and I couldn't do it. I mean, I'm too old for that anyway. But I think you have to consider that. Work work, can be somewhat addictive. And I think you need to think about your boundaries around that. I I do anyway. I agree. I agree with you. So Owning my own business, I could work all the time. And, also, I know I would be exhausted and bitter and grumpy and not in love, but I do. And I love what I do, but it has to be on my terms within boundaries that I set. So, anyway yeah. So what is your what is your reason? What are your boundaries? Or, Lindsay calls it parameters, my friend. So, you know, what do you allow in and what don't you allow in? So what are your parameters? And let's just say this, your parameters can also change based on the situation. It's not a hard black and white. It could be gray. You can have a gray boundary as far as food, exercise, work, all the things. Yeah. And I mean, you know, just like situational changes at, for food and alcohol, work I won't work as hard next week as I did the previous week because of the situational changes. But I think if you're in a job where you feel hounded constantly, to to press. I know I have a very casual acquaintance who's an attorney, and her life is work. And maybe she loves it. God, I hope she does because the hours she puts in are crushing. And so, if you're listening to this and you feel like that and you're not happy, take a look at it because we do have a choice. The midlife awakening is about making those choice, and you you can make a difference in your life with the very next thing you decide. So, anyway, work is just that last thing for me that I have to sometimes put the brakes on. Yeah. But you have boundaries. Like, you don't check your email. You don't check your work email after a certain exit time. Right? Right. Exactly. Right? And I know you have a morning practice that allows you to be in your body and be prayerful. I think it's a spiritual practice too. So you're like, you're feeding that part of yourself before you go and help the big man with this guy. Exactly. Let's go there. Yeah. Yeah. I can't remember what it's called, but you know what I meant. Yeah. I do. I do. No. But this is, you know, this has been really helpful in getting ready for this episode because when you work really hard at anything, whether it's your actual actual job or you're working out or or the diet, it can feel quite restrictive. But when you look at it as the very next decision or what is negotiable, it's very freeing. And I just want people to feel like they have the authority to take charge of their own life. Oh, authority. That's a good one. Thanks for listening today. You can find us on Instagram@midlife.mommas. For all of our other contact info, check out the show description below, and we will talk to you next week.