Midlife Mommas: A Girlfriends Approach to Life After Menopause

Sleep Secrets for Midlife

April 17, 2024 Season 3 Episode 150
Midlife Mommas: A Girlfriends Approach to Life After Menopause
Sleep Secrets for Midlife
Show Notes Transcript

Ladies! We talk about sleep a LOT! In fact, we probably mention it during almost every episode. But here's the reader's digest version of tips for good sleep, and it is a pillar of health. Please, please, please listen to this one, especially if you're struggling with belly fat (there IS a connection!). We also talk about adrenal health. As referenced in the episode, here are the symptoms indicating that you're in adrenal trouble:
1. 'Wired and Tired' feeling in the evening, or insomnia
2. Need caffeine or stimulants to get through the day
3. Feeling sluggish in the morning; slow to get started
4. You are easily overwhelmed
5. You crave processed foods or sweets

In this episode, you'll hear: 

1. The importance of sleep in midlife and its impact on overall health, including its connections to hormonal balance and stress.

2. Tips and strategies for improving sleep quality, including managing bedtime routines and the sleep environment.

3. How to address common sleep disturbances such as snoring and restlessness, and the importance of experimenting with different solutions and being conscientious of individual sleep needs.

00:00 Realizing the importance of sleep for health.
05:56 Understanding estrogen's impact on health and control.
06:58 Signs of adrenal stress affecting sleep quality.
10:26 Easily overwhelmed by small things in life.
14:06 Setting boundaries for work phone after hours.
19:07 Clutter in bedroom adds hidden stress.
21:48 Sleep separately for better rest, not disconnection.
22:44 Use earplugs for better restorative sleep.
26:00 Encourage others to join your fitness journey.

Stay Connected!
Amelia

Cam

Midlife Mommas IG: https://www.instagram.com/midlife.mommas/

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Cam, are you sleeping okay? Hi. I'm Cam, Holistic health coach, mom to 2 humans and 4 pets. Hi. I'm Amelia, Laboratory scientist by day and food scientist real life stories with a dash of humor and a ton of truth. If it happens in midlife, we're going to talk about it. So hit that subscribe button and follow along. We're the Midlife Mommas. Hi, everyone. Welcome to the podcast. I'm sorry. That was really disgusting. No. But, you know, I've literally heard people make that much noise when they sleep. Some of them will remain nameless, but let's just say they contain a Y chromosome. Yes. Exactly. And you may sleep on next to them on a nightly basis because I think that happens in my house too. Yeah. It's like, what is going on over there? Yeah, absolutely. So we're gonna talk about sleep and bedtime routines today. And if you've been a regularly listener of the podcast, you know that we've really been talking about body fat this spring. It's such a hot topic amongst our midlife sisters. And so we're gonna talk about bedtime routines and sleep patterns as it relates to that, but as it relates to overall health. Absolutely. And one of the questions I wanna know, do you feel, Amelia, that sleep is one of the most important midlife pillars? What what's your thoughts on it? I will, like, yes, exclamation point, exclamation point. And the reason I think that, Cam, is because, you know, when when I entered into midlife more broadly and specifically really concentrating on my health and partnering with you, I realized that was the pillar that was missing. You know, I had done the exercise thing. While that pillar has changed shape and focus, the eating was pretty much there, but sleep was way, way off. And so 2020 2 was my year to learn how to sleep, and it's just not an afterthought. You know, when I was in my twenties thirties well, maybe not my thirties because I had babies, but in my teens and my twenties, that I just totally took sleep for granted. And now I'm just like, thank you, Lord, when I have a good night's sleep. Yeah. It's amazing. Right? My my year was 2020. I kicked the cats and the dogs out of my bed even though one one dog and one cat have snuck back in, and I got the TV out of my room. But, yeah, the thing about sleep is you can actually do something about it. It's not just, oh, it's menopause. Oh, you're not supposed to sleep. Oh, blah blah blah. You can actually do things to improve your sleep, and it does improve your overall health. So, you know, just to touch on a few things. If you're not sleeping, the next day a lot of things suffer. Mhmm. You're irritable, your mood. It's really hard to make good choices in the kitchen because you just want energy, which is like cheap carbs. Yeah. Your brain doesn't work, you know, well. It's just you're running on fumes. It's really no way to live. No. No. I I agree. And, my mother-in-law who suffers from congestive heart failure, granted she's way past menopause, but still, after a certain point, and it may be menopause, Cam, you may know this, women are more likely to suffer from cardiovascular disease. 100%. That's true. So lack of sleep does play into that, and I don't wanna be that 60 year old woman that's now having to take all the heart medicine. So there's a lot a lot of things, and to your point about it's hard to make good food choices, if you're not sleeping and then you're running for those cheap energy carbs, if you think your belly fat is bad now, wait until you get into those bad habits because it'll just be worse. Yeah. We're in the middle of moving, and I put a glucose monitor on, I guess, 4 or 5 days ago, and it is checking me because there are times when I'm just like, let me just grab something. And also my kitchen has already moved to another place. So, like, what's left here is really not, you know, healthy or easy, you know, so whatever. It's really checking myself because I don't wanna get a bad score on my glucose monitor. I know. That's crazy. I know how that feels, but it is you being so conscious and intentional during a time of stress when things can go off the rails so easily that you've got those stop gaps, those processes in place to help you, which I applaud and think is amazing. It's really it's been it's been interesting. I think is super interesting, is about sleep, keeping your body clock in sync, and your adrenal your adrenal glands. And we talk about that. We we talked about your adrenals in the cortisol episode, but, Cam, will you tell us a little bit about these these glands? Absolutely. So they're very tiny, and they sit in your lower back above your they're not fatigue. Let's not use that word. Stress, let's just say that. Or, you know, if you have lower back pain, and it's not because you exercise, that's another sign your adrenals are like, hey, lady, pay attention to me. Yeah. So they make your stress hormones like cortisol. We hear about that. But there's other things that your, adrenals make, like regulating your blood pressure is one of them. Your fight flight system is regulated through your adrenal glands, plus DHEA, which is this amazing thing that turns into a weak form of estrogen, but most importantly, it turns into testosterone. And so that's pump out these other helpful things? Right? So if you're in this fight, flight, survive mode, that's that's what your, adrenals are pumping out. I just love that, and I, you know, before we hit record, I was telling Cam about a conversation I had with a very good friend of mine, who is in, you know, pretty good health, but there's a lot of these knowledge nuggets that she might be missing. And this is one of those things that a lot of people don't understand when your when your estrogen tanks, what all you can control because you can't really control that. And this is just this is such a great concept for people to understand because, you know, we we want to be able to help in those small ways we can. Right? Like, we because we've talked about it before, Cam. We've talked about in midlife, the 2 hormones that you can control are insulin and cortisol based on your choices. So here you go. Yeah. And these dance altogether. So it's like you can't just separate 1. It's like walking into a spider web. Have you ever done that when you've been walking in the woods? Yeah. Yeah. It's like, what am I running into? And that's kind of how your hormones are. But your adrenals and your sleep definitely are connected. So, you know, maybe if you have trouble falling asleep or you have less quality or quantity of sleep and multiple night wake ups, that could be a sign that your adrenals are under, like, panic mode. They're in survival mode. And how can we help you get out of that mode so you can get quality sleep? Now I understand that some of those symptoms I just named also cross with other things. So Right. You have to be curious and, also be curious and be your own best expert. So we're just giving you some guidelines, some rocks to turn over and see if it applies to you. Yeah. Absolutely. And I think we have in our notes some a little quiz that you can take to understand if or to, you know, determine whether or not, you have adrenal symptoms, and we can definitely drop that in the show notes. I'll just read them real quick. Well Let's talk about them because this is actually Absolutely. This is actually one of one of the forms I use with my clients. Like, it's it said advanced biofeedback, and your biofeedback is your body talking to you, and you just have to slow down enough to listen to it. Sure. So let's just rate ourselves. So one, nope, this is not me. 5, yeah, this is me. So here we go. First one. Why are but tired in the evening in the evening with insomnia? So, sometimes if I feel that, Cam, I always assume I'll drink caffeine too late in the day. But guess what? It could be this. Absolutely. And when I feel wired and tired, that is definitely a sign for me to back it off, like I'm doing too much. Yeah. For sure. And I felt that too. Now would you say this also manifest as a increased heart rate? Absolutely. I mean, if you track your data like I do on the Oura ring, so my heart rate variability or my resting heart rate is definitely affected on on yes. Absolutely. Very good. Now I feel that too. Was it food or is it Yeah. Stress? I mean, I don't know the answer unless I'm talking about specific day, but, yes, the answer is yes. And here's another really good one. Need caffeine or stimulants to get through the day? So in other words, at some point, you know, you're feeling in the afternoon maybe, like, oh my gosh, I can't make it without a soda or a cup of coffee or something with caffeine. That's a telltale one for me. Yeah. That was definitely a 5 in my forties. Like, I was living on caffeine and cortisol in my during my CrossFit days for sure, during my forties. I don't do that anymore. I feel better. Do you drink any caffeine now or are you completely Oh, yeah. Okay. Okay. In the morning and several cups. And lately we've been making 2 pots

because like I said, we're moving and Oh, yeah. I cut it off 11:

12. Yeah. That's for sure. Yeah. Me too. Okay. And in fact, what's funny, Cam, is I will drink 1 and a half cups of coffee in the morning. And then, actually, I pour I make decaf to take to work, and I put my collagen in that. Then when I get to work, I've taken to doing, green tea. So then around 10 o'clock, I'll do the green tea, which I think has less caffeine than coffee, and it does have antioxidants, and then I'm done for the day. But I really that's been my new thing for, like, the last month that it's been working pretty good. Yeah. And like last winter, I was I wanted something warm, so I switched to teas. But this year, I didn't do any teas at all, so I don't know. Yeah. So anyway, if you feel that need, be aware that it could be your adrenal glands. What else we got? We got sluggish start to your day or morning fatigue. Mhmm. Yeah. Again, that is it's random. It is not consistently happening, but when it does happen, it's a sign for me to slow it down. Absolutely. Here's one a really good one, easily overwhelmed, and this is one that manifests for me. It's not just about like, a lot of times, I'll feel like I'm fine until that one more thing gets piled on, and then it just feels like the wheels come completely off. I had a day like that recently, and it was stupid stuff. Like, you know, I dropped a knife on the floor, which is not that big a deal, but there was something messy, and it splattered everywhere. So little things like that or forgetting something at home that's important when I'm on my way to work. And when you're in this sort of fatigue slash, adrenal, fatigue area or stress area, it does feel overwhelming. Whereas if you were in a healthy balance, these things these same exact things could happen, and you're like you just go through it and it's fine. Yeah. For me, overwhelmed comes as a feeling as busy behind my eyes. I've talked about that before. Like, there's a lot going on in the brain and I feel busy behind my eyes. That's how it shows up for me, and I feel more irritable. So that's my sign. I can do that. And the last one is craving processed foods and sweets. Oh, danger zone. Well Yeah. So these are just some signs that your adrenals need some TLC. Yeah. Absolutely. So one of the things we talk about when we talk about evening routines, it starts in the morning. Right? Like, you're like, everything is cyclical, but if you're having a crappy morning routine, if you're doing some of the things we just talked about, like needing caffeine to get started, how can you maybe reprogram? And one of the things is is morning light, getting that light on your eyeballs. Yeah. I know. It sounds so silly. It sounds like hokey pokey dance, but it actually works. How else would your organs inside that don't get daylight know if it's day or night? It's your eyes communicating to your organs. Think about it. It's pretty cool. It is really cool. And while I don't get outside every morning first thing, you know, I do actually my den has got a fair amount of natural light. So I love this, and I know, Cam, that you get you actually get outside many more. Yeah. I do when it's not freezing cold. Yeah. Yeah. Or raining. We're we're getting there. We're getting there. And, you know, evening routines, we were just talking about, caffeine and when you cut that off or how you use it or abuse it as some of us have done. There's other things that we should avoid as the day progresses. Yeah. Anything strenuous or stressful. And, you know, you know, strenuous exercise, that makes sense. You're rating raising your cortisol to exercise, which is a healthy kind of cortisol, by the way. But it that does not let your melatonin come out to play because they are in seesaw. It's either melatonin or cortisol. But also I just wanna point out, like, news or disturbing news or I mean, it doesn't have to be the TV, but it could be. It could be a book that you're reading that's not, like, healthy for your mind. Yes. It's happening. It totally has. It's like, I I love some Netflix. And even on series, because we love limited series. Even on ones that you don't expect, like a cortisol spiking theme. It may be a scene in a book. Mhmm. Mhmm. In fact, I'm telling on myself and my daughter. She, she gave me this book by Kristen Hannah, who's a pretty popular author for women. It's called That Summer. And I was like, oh, generally, her stuff is really light. Well, the theme of this book was that a girl gets raped, and it doesn't describe it in detail, but the whole book is how she overcome overcame the trauma. That's stressful. Like, you know Mhmm. Late at night. So it's amazing. You know, Cam, I've had to make a rule that after 6 or 6 o'clock, I don't pick up my work phone anymore because it could be I have colleagues on the West Coast, so they're still in their workday at 6 PM for me. And I have to tell myself they know my time zone. It is fine for me not to look at that because one thing, like, that could just throw my whole evening off. And I have something. My husband loves this, but I call it, like, an emotional hangover. Like, once I've had that spike of cortisol or that panic feeling, it takes hours to dissipate that. Yeah. I I'm I'm with you. I totally agree with that. And, you know, it could be anything. So if you do have a restless night of sleep, be curious about, like, what happened. Was it something like reading a book or watching a movie? Because it could be. You know? You could be. Uh-huh. Absolutely. And, you know, we talked about this before too. I think this is kind of a a pillar of our our sleep hygiene protocol, if you will, but avoiding sugar, alcohol, and food 2 to 3 hours before bed, which some days is truly challenging depending on your lifestyle, the days are longer, but it does really that digestion does affect how you sleep. Yeah. Your body's gonna choose to digest the undigested food in your belly versus, like, getting rest and restoring and repairing and all this stuff. Yeah. So it has to take care of that first. That's just order of operations. Right. Right. Exactly. And I think, you know, for so long in my thirties and even forties, it was almost like it was the cool kids group that ate dinner at, like, 8 or 9 o'clock at night. I know. I don't know what I don't know what was up with that, but I did it all the time. And, honestly, Cam, that usually followed evening exercise. So Oh, yeah. Oh, of course. We could handle that nonsense when we were younger, but let me tell you, the bandwidth is gone. Yeah. It totally is. So I'm all aboard.

All of my friends know to, like, not contact me after 8:

30 because I go to bed. Like, they know if we're gonna go out to eat,

they better make it at 5:

30 or 6, because that's just my pattern. Yeah. I love that. I had a I had a call with a client this week, and she had her birthday. And they went out, da da da, and they did all this stuff. And they went to a jazz club, and

she's like, and I was home in bed by 10:

30, which is, like, amazing. I know. I'm like, that's perfect. It was cute. Yeah. Every time I think about going something and doing something, if it starts late for like, Cam, I don't even think I'd go to a 9 I

mean, a 7 o'clock movie anymore. Because if I'm gonna get home at 9:

30, 10, like, I wanna be in my PJs and I wanna be almost asleep back then. Cozy. Yeah. Well, and that's the whole thing. But if you're just starting on this sleep journey and you're not sure if this is what's causing you, Amelia and I have experimented for a few years now and we know that these are triggers for ourselves. But we're just say, hey, this might be your trigger too. So take take a look at it. So, Cam, I know you probably take something for, like, a supplement. I do. I take magnesium glycinate throughout the day. So I think it's, like, 5 500 and something milligrams. I take it 2 twice a day, whatever. And then I do take time release melatonin most nights at very low dosage. Yes. That's been helpful. And I'm I'm with you on the magnesium glycinate. I don't take it during the day every day. Sometimes I'll take it midday, especially if I'm feeling anxious. Like, if I I feel like I'm busy behind the eyes or increased heart rate, I actually have a stress, supplement. I think it's got chamomile, passion flower, maybe some ashwagandha. I can't remember. But I carry that and the magnesium glycinate in, like, pill form. And if if at any time during the day I can feel that sensation, I'll take that. But I definitely take magnesium glycinate at night. And it also has L Theanine and GABA in it, the the the version that I take it. So I'm a big fan. Big fan. And I love that you take it based on your daily need. Now magnesium, I feel like, is a staple. It needs to be to keep your stores up. But as far as the stress blend, I also have a stress blend, which I've been popping like pills lately in my life. Yeah. I I haven't saw my husband taking them. That's awesome. That's awesome. It's like, where that where's that stress blend? I'm like, right there. Yeah. Like, let's pop those in there. Yeah. So it's just supporting your adrenals. That's exactly what it's called. It's called stress balance, and it's supporting your adrenals. And it's gonna help you sleep better and feel better and all the things for sure. That's so good. But, Cam, there's other things we can do for our nighttime. We talked about, about the the stress of screens kind of. But, you know, our environment's really important because even if you don't recognize your environment like bothering you, there are things that we can do to our environment to help us sleep. Is that true? Oh, yeah. Like a clean, decluttered, calm, relaxing, awesome space. I know you like your sheets. I remember you told us, but you like certain sheets. Yeah. Right? Yep. And, you know, I don't even, you know, my bedroom is not, like, spartan. It's not you know what I mean? It's not like there's nothing there but the bed and a table and a lamp. But I think for a lot of people, they may not even realize that that laundry that's scattered on the floor is just as almost like a subconscious stressor that you're you're thinking, I'll get it tomorrow, when indeed, maybe spend spend 5 minutes to clean that up so that you're not stressed about it. Yeah. That's definitely an energy thing and also, like, avoiding work in your bedroom. Right. I know in 2020, when everyone had to figure out where to work from their house, some people decided to put their office in their bedroom. And that's just too conflicting for your brain. Like, are you working? Are you sleeping? And so just be conscious of that. And so if you still have your office in your bedroom, is there another, like, little corner somewhere in the house you can get it out of there? Yeah. Right. I love that. Yeah. And also, like, having a dark, cool with a great bed and great sheets, like, make it a sanctuary. You know? Like, make it nice for yourself. Invest in that. Right? Yeah. And, you know, some people can you cam use, like, diffusing lavender oil may help or something like that to create that environment, or a lavender candle. You know, many years ago, we stopped using overhead lights in the evening. We I went through a period where I really tried to really tone it down and actually light a room more, like, with a salt lamp. That just didn't like, I couldn't even read by it. So I kinda but I experimented. Right? Like, I thought, what what can I change in this environment? So harsh lighting can also signal your brain that it's wake up time and not nighttime. So Yeah. Check out your lighting. Yeah. And put a dimmer switch on. That's Yes. Perfect. Dimmer is another way to and that's very inexpensive. So, yeah, there's a lot of ways. Just think about your your sleeping environment, how can you make it more luxurious? Yeah, absolutely. And speaking of environments, Cam, if you are if you have a partner, that person is part of your sleeping environment. So ask yourself, is there anything about something happening like the snoring that we open with that may be affecting your sleep? Yeah. It's a real problem. And, like, my husband on occasion snores like crazy, like the beginning of this episode, and sometimes he doesn't. Like, last night he did not. So thank you for not snoring. I I really appreciate it. I mean, we have enough issues in midlife. We don't, you know, our bodies are already waking us up. We do not need this over here snoring. So, Cam, if he starts snoring, do you get up and go to a different sleep space? Usually I poke him and I'm like all over. Yeah. Yeah. But it wakes me up. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I have to be honest. Now all of our listeners who are personal friends of mine are gonna gasp, but I do most nights not sleep in the same bed with my husband because of that. We have a 4 bedroom home, and we don't have any people other people besides the 2 of us. And it was disconcerting at first. So if you're if you've been married or with a partner for a really long time, it feels like you're taking something away from the emotional connection. But you gotta work on that. You gotta work on your mindset around your boundaries and your self care and reassure yourself and your partner, this isn't about affection, this is about sleep. Like, you're not probably conscious enough, hopefully, to express that emotion when you're sleeping. There's other ways to connect emotionally without it being, you know, like cohabitating in a in a bed space. Yeah. Yeah. So, you know, I have a friend that wears earplugs. That's the weirdest solution. Yeah. So you would stay in the same physical room, but just wear earplugs. And what I use is I haven't used earplugs. I've thought about it. Maybe I should get them out from the camping gear, but maybe sleep sounds. I like Oh, that's a great one. Like babbling brook is our you know so that just drowns it out enough and so it helps me get through. And the way we sleep is the first half of the sleep night is where you get your deep sleep and that's your restorative sleep and, you know, you're in deep sleep. Mhmm. But as you rotate, they're like 90 minute circles, the sessions if you will. About the 2 to 3 AM is when you switch to the light sleep and the REM sleep, and that's typically when I wake up. When I'm cycling into my lighter sleep, you're Right. You're ease you can wake up easier. So sleep sounds has helped me. But you may get earplugs too. Yeah. I do love that. I just I think that that we need to have lots of options. Now a lot of my friends, including my children, they have king-size beds, and I think that helps. Yeah. That helps. But my husband made our bed. It's this beautiful 4 poster bed. It's a queen-size, and I'm not gonna ditch the bed because of this. Honestly, that's just my choice. So, you know, I I think there's plenty of options, but I cannot, like, knock on wood, but almost every one of my girlfriends who are my age are suffering from a spouse that either intermittently snores or does it all the time. And I'm like, girls. Like, you don't have to suffer this way. It seems to be some mental block that that they have to this is not part of your wifely duties is to listen to the snoring. And I added to the notes, like, you know, why is he snoring? Because that's, you know, But, like, what's going on with his health? Is it extra belly fat? Is it drinking alcohol? Is it sleep apnea? Does he need to go to a sleep clinic? Like, what is happening over there? I know in our house, we were on vacation in December, and, the Airbnb had really flat pillows. And the whole week, he didn't snore. And I was like, this is amazing. Like, I didn't even realize it was missing, but we came home and it was back and worse than ever. And I was like, what is happening? And so in my house, the flatter pillow keeps the neck area flatter, I guess, and there's less rumbling. So that worked for me for a minute. It's not a perfect solution. No. But it's a great insight, and I think, you know, and that's the thing, Cam, is as we've gone down this journey, my husband's pretty healthy. I haven't gotten him. I've got him taken B complex, and I'm working on the magnesium. I'm trying to slowly, like, here, honey. And I think as women, especially our loyal listeners who listen to us, they're committed to what that that to what we're telling them. But it's hard because this other person has their own will, their own habits, and we're trying to help. And sometimes these are hard sells. But men are affected in midlife a lot of the same ways we are with regard to, like you said, the alcohol, belly fat, food choices. So we're not in this alone, and that we certainly would like our partners to be healthy as well. Absolutely. And, also, it might make them uncomfortable because you're trying to implement these different things. That's so true. Hey, honey. I'm moving out to the guest bedroom. I mean, that what what is happening? You know? Yeah. So it makes them uncomfortable when we are changing, but just stay in your truth. Yeah, absolutely. And you, you know, you can explain it and offer like you did, Cam, for them to go on this journey with you. Like, I know you and your husband exercise together, so Mhmm. If you're, you know, if you're starting your strength training journey, tell your spouse, like, come on and join me. Like, it's this is, you know, for 2 of us. Yeah. Absolutely. I love it. Yeah. So we just hope that you have some insight into your evening routines. And again, this is a journey and don't be frustrated if the first thing doesn't work out. You know, try it for a week and then add something else. You know? Just keep trying. Be an experiment of 1. Right, Amelia? Absolutely. That's our motto. And I would love just because we've talked about so many options, if you guys listen to the episode and you found something that really works, let us know because we'd love to share that knowledge with our with our listenership. But this is super important and to answer the initial question, Cam, yes, sleep is a major pillar of health. That was so fun. Thanks for listening today. You can find us on Instagram @midlife.mommas For all of our other contact info, check out the show description below, and we will talk to you next week.