Midlife Mommas: A Girlfriends Approach to Life After Menopause

3 Tips When Your Goals Make Others Uncomfortable

February 14, 2024 Amelia & Cam Season 3 Episode 141
Midlife Mommas: A Girlfriends Approach to Life After Menopause
3 Tips When Your Goals Make Others Uncomfortable
Show Notes Transcript

00:00 Navigating changing relationships as children grow up.
05:14 People are threatened by what they don't understand.
06:41 Understand psychology, know your why, stick to conviction.
12:36 Focus on your vision despite distractions.
15:10 Importance of discussing choices and being open.
18:30 Finding support from like-minded individuals is crucial.
23:25 Woman's 2nd marriage struggles due to inactivity.
25:24 Becoming a good example for kids' health.
27:50 Question traditional beliefs, seek personal truth confidently.
Why would my goals make someone else uncomfortable?  C'mon, you know you've experienced this. You tell a friend or your sibling, "I'm going back to school!" or "I've decided to move to a different city" or "I'd like to lose 10 lbs".

You've seen that look of skepticism on their faces. They've chided you that it'll never work, or you've tried this before and failed. What IS the deal? Shouldn't these people be supportive? Well it turns out that this is a completely normal reaction, but why? In this episode of the Midlife Mommas we explore this very strange yet usual circumstance. When we grow it may make others feel like we're leaving them behind. Tune in to listen to the reasons as well as some tips to cope with these reactions and soldier on!

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Amelia

Cam

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Oh, okay. Yeah. Okay. Thanks for calling. Midlife just called, and she said she's really sorry about the belly fat and the extra unwanted weight gain. But seriously, life after 45, these changes seem to happen almost overnight. Guess what? Muscle plays a huge role in this part of the story. Hi. I'm Cam, and I'm hosting a free master class on February 13th, and you're invited. It's called the 4 keys to menopause fitness. Head to the show notes to sign up or head to cam wheeler.com/4, the number 4. And I can't wait to see you in class. There has been a foul on the field. Hi. I'm Cam, holistic health coach, mom to 2 humans and 4 pets. Hi. I'm Amelia, laboratory scientist by day and food scientist by night. Welcome to our show. Join us as we share our holistic approach to life after 50. You can expect real life stories with a dash of humor and a ton of truth. If it happens in midlife, we're going to talk about it. So hit that subscribe button and follow along. We're the Midlife Mommas. Oh my Gosh. It is time for sports analogies, Cam. I'm so excited. We are actually not talking about football or fouls, But we are talking about goals this week on the podcast. Yeah. And how people get really uncomfortable when you start to change and go after to your goals. Have you ever had that happen to you? A 100%. In fact, I fight on a regular basis my boss making fun of my green smoothie. So I love the fact that we talk all the time to our listeners about having goals, but we don't spend quite as much time telling them how to How they might, be received or how to respond to other people because there it's not always positive feedback. Exactly. When you have goals, Other people may be uncomfortable. Maybe they are watching you change, and they're like, well, I've never thought about that myself. So it's just easier to make or green smoothie Exactly. To take a look in the mirror. Exactly. And specifically, you know, given our platform, Cam, specifically health and fitness goals may make people around you uncomfortable. If this is something that's relatively new to your life And you live with a spouse or have a sister or a best friend who isn't particularly health and fitness Conscious when you declare these things, which we encourage you to do, it may may make other people really uncomfortable with this new you. Yeah. Exactly. Because we flock to people that are similar to us. So the people around you are similar. What's the saying? You're the average of the 7 people around you or whatever. And And if you choose to change that that average, it makes people crazy. And also I think I really think it's because the other Person's like, well, what does that leave where does that leave me if you change? You know, it's kind of one of those things. Let's all just stay stuck together. Yeah. I totally agree. And we've talked about this in the context of Changing relationships when our children grow up. You know, we have we are friends with our children's parents and that seems more natural. Right? It seems like a Natural progression, if your kids grow up and they have different friends, you're gonna be friends with the new friend's parents. But in this situation, these might be really Really long standing relationships. They might be relatives. So we just wanna talk today about what that means for you So that you don't get derailed and you can stay on track with your health and fitness goals. Yeah. There is I saw recently on, Instagram, it was a Mel Robbins, Instagram video, and it was about her and her husband. This was happened a few years ago. And he decided her husband decided he wasn't gonna drink. And so she decided, okay. That's fine. Whatever. And they get down to dinner and she's like, I think I might have a glass of wine. And then she offers him a glass of wine and he says, I'm not drinking. And then, you know, are you sure you don't want you know, she goes, don't don't you want a glass of wine? And he said to her, The only person that needs to matter what's in your glass of wine or in your glass is you. And so it's just making it was making her uncomfortable drinking the glass of wine without him kind of situation, and that's what we're talking about today. Yeah. Absolutely. And I've had a personal experience there, and I haven't Really thought about it in those concrete terms until literally you just told that story. So, my mother-in-law is lovely. She's very southern, and when we have Family meals or or holiday meals, there's always dessert. And so where like, Mel was trying to push push wine on her husband. My mother-in-law wants to push pecan eye on me. And she just asked over and over, and then it's like, well, don't you just want a little piece? And then she acts very offended if I don't accept. Now, it may be slightly different with your friends because she's made this pie blah blah blah. But if you're out with your friends and you have chosen to abstain from alcohol Or you decline an invitation to go out and drink alcohol because you're working out or walking, people may get a little testy with you. Yeah. Right. It makes them uncomfortable. It's really not about you changing. It's about them feeling uncomfortable you're changing. And so we're gonna talk about how to be, like, sturdy and, you know, set on your way so you can navigate these situations and stay on track for yourself. That's what we're gonna talk about. Yeah. Absolutely. Because people are threatened by Things they don't understand or don't like or don't agree with. We see this all the time with other topics like, you know, the old adage, don't talk about politics or religion, But this can be just as polarizing for some people is, you know, the new person that you've created in yourself by setting the health and fitness goals. So, you know, it's easier for someone to crack on your vision for yourself and changing than it is for them to have vision for their own selves. And you'll never convince someone that that's what's happening. You just have to own your own intention and your own authenticity to make this work For you. Yeah. Perfect. And that leads perfectly into number 1, know your why, which is so important. It is so important, Cam, and we've Talked about it in in the same context of know your why with regard to health and fitness, but this frames it up in a little bit of a different way. So if you are undergoing this journey, what are your convictions? You know, if you know why you're doing it, it's gonna be easier for you to Stick to that. Then if you're just kinda like, oh, well, it's, you know, it's January, I should lose some weight. What? Yeah. Right. That's not gonna stick around. And we talked about that recently. Like, you want your goals to stick around. So if you can figure out the internal why, like, what is it you want in your midlife, And then imagine what it looks like, what do you how are you gonna feel, what are you wearing, what are you doing, all the things, like use all your senses to really get that image clear of what your why is, makes it a heck of a lot easier. It totally does. And I think if we understand that psychology of our selves and know our why. It definitely helps us stay on track. But I will say in that same vein of knowing your why, I would think out further. Think out about what if my sister tells me I'm crazy for getting up at 5 AM to work out, or what if my boss in, like, in my situation makes one of my green smoothie. How You know, it's okay to have the feeling of like, oh, that hurts my feelings, but then what are you gonna do? What is the next Step, are you gonna abandon your effort? Are you gonna I won't say double down, but just stick to your conviction. So I think you need to kinda give some process, Some some thought to your reaction to some of this negativity. Yeah. And I you know, my husband is very forward thinking like that. Like, if we're in a social situation, Like, people ask, where are you from? And I'm like, from 8 places. So I'm like, I don't really have a I was born in Atlanta, but that's not where I'm from. You know what I mean? And so he's practiced with me, like, well, what are you really gonna say? And, I mean, it's kind of the same situation. What would you do in this situation if someone was making fun of your green smoothie? Like, did you play it out in your head or do you have a comeback or what do you do? Do you do it, Amelia? Well, you know, I cam this is I shouldn't even admit this on mic, but I'm gonna admit it. So I have 2 separate travel containers for the smoothie. 1 is Clear and one is colored. So I try to use the one when I know he's gonna be in the office that's colored so he can't see it. Uh-huh. That is a Howard's way. Like, I know that I'm actually verbalizing this. I understand how crappy of a excuse that is, but for me, other things have, come to bear when I think about Appointment or disappointing others and I've kinda had to come to, if that happens, I don't really care what you think because that's not good for me. Like, I respect that you may not want to go, you know, run or ride a bicycle or hike, but I do and it's important to me and I don't really care what But I had to really get it get there, Cam, emotionally to really tell myself, I love you. I love my mom. I love my children. I love my husband and my friends, But that doesn't mean I'm gonna accept for me the decisions that you are trying to impose on me. Yeah. And so how do you handle like the pecan pie? How is that gone over the years. Well, that's a really good question. No. And I that one's an easier one because, you know, I'm very firm. I'm Extremely polite and say, I really appreciate it. I know it's delicious. I've had it so many times before, but your meal was so delicious. I don't want Any. And sometimes I've all also gone the actual honesty route and tried to do so with kindness and love to say, You know, I've cut back on my intake of sugar and, you know, I appreciate the love you put into that, but I would not care for any. Mhmm. And and she handles it better. Right? Well, better. I mean, she doesn't like it, but she didn't have a choice. Like, I'm a grown up and I haven't, you know, been ugly to her so she kinda didn't have a choice but to accept my decision. Wait. You mean, we don't have clean your plate Club anymore? Oh, no, ma'am. Oh. Well, that's good. Okay. So sticking to your why and, like, Playing it out in your mind, like, have some scenarios, like, use your dark cup when you're going to somewhere. Yeah. I like that. I know, You know, for me, we traveled to Atlanta. It was a few Thanksgivings ago. I've told the story, and I did not pack my collagen, which I've always packed my collagen, but I just Chose not to. I don't know why. And starting that day was without my collagen was kinda crazy because I didn't want I don't know if I didn't wanna stick out or whatever, But then I got someone to take me to the grocery store, and I got some collagen so I could at least start instead of a muffin because starting my day with a muffin wasn't gonna be good. So my why is starting my day with protein. And I kinda caved on it for a second, but then I worked around it. And and I think that's a great point From a different direction and that you can stick to your vision and your goals, and there's other ways to get around people's Dissatisfaction or disapproval. You just forge your head. You don't necessarily have to explain it, but you just do what you know to be correct Just like me and the pie or you and the collagen. You know, thank you very much. I wouldn't care for the pie and, oh, you know, I I I need to run to the store. I need to get some college. Well, why? Why is that important? Well, you know, my body is used to it. It makes me healthy blah blah blah and sometimes You can actually win someone over that way. Yeah. Well, this was years ago and I don't think I have the words, but it was like either sweets, pastry stuff, or bacon products, which are not either the way I wanna start my day anyway. Lesson learned. You know? I know my why. I know I wanna start my day this So I just handle it now. Yeah. That's a great you know, that's the short and sweet of it. Right? You just handle it. But, yeah, I think that's easier for some people than others, But it is really important because we talk about this in midlife all the time. Right? That we wanna be authentic. We wanna own our own decisions, But unfortunately, it can be quite easy to be derailed by other people, but you gotta know why you're doing it. Yeah. Because I could've caved and eaten the Sure. Stuff because it was delicious in the moment, but, yeah, long term. Anyway, also, I just I wanna point this out. I've had this question a times you can travel with your collagen. I just wanna say that on an airplane. You can put it in a plastic baggy. TSA is not gonna think you're doing drugs, and they will not stop you. So just take your little scoop and your little baggy and measure out how much you need for how long you're gonna be gone and it's gonna be okay. I just wanna say that publicly. Thank you. Because I I kinda fell into that. You can take other things too, like protein powder or, I actually will Travel with some bars. So, you know, as long as it's not already mixed as liquid, it is fine. It will pass through TSA. So that's a really good point. Yeah. It's not illegal drugs. Don't worry. No. You're not getting arrested. Okay. Okay. Moving on. So, tip number 2 is stick to your vision. And so you've got your why, it's like cemented in your soul. Right? You know what it is and now you're gonna stick to it. You're gonna stick to that vision, that future self that you're working towards. And I love that and the and the kinda tagline here which I love is keep your blinders on. So this is, you know, They use blinders on horses so that they're that actually it's for safety because if some horses can shy really easily, which can be Really unsafe for the rider or the carriage, whoever's riding in the carriage. And this way, they can't see anything outside of what's right in front of them and the thing they need to handle right in front of the next Yep. And this is kinda what we're talking about and this may be, as it may be dramatic for you. If you really wanna put your blinders on maybe For a period of time, if you don't wanna drink, you don't go out to a social sit or to a bar. Let's make it easy to a bar. So there may be some, what appears to be restrictive activities that you think, for me at this time, I do not wanna put myself in this situation. So there may be some, boundary control or action control there that you or behavior control to stick to your vision, but in the at the end, it's in your mind. Absolutely in your mind. And if you did choose to go out with socially, have a backup plan. What what do you order? You order What do you order? Tonic and a lot of people do? Tonic or or spark sparkling water or club soda. Yeah. Yeah. So have a plan, you know, and but really keeping your blinders on is helpful, despite the people in your circle because people might like, hey, it's okay. Here, have this bite. Have this whatever. But really when you know what your vision is, that's the what you that your actions are moving you closer to that vision, so keep them on. Yeah. Absolutely. And this can also mean, challenging yourself with the company you keep. You can still have the same friends. I used to be friends with a large group of people. And I I really kept the relationship where I could come and go as I please. These girls were great. They were some of the most giving people, But after dinner, there was always the after dinner drink which turned into bar hopping, and I always, you know, remove myself from from it once we had dinner. So, you know, just think about again, think about that next step so that you are prepared to make the decisions that will be required to keep you on the path of your goals and vision. I love that. I went out to dinner with girlfriends on Friday night and we had a conversation around alcohol. And so I think we're all like, Do we really wanna drink? Do I really make the best decisions when I'm drinking? Or how do I feel after I drink? And so and it doesn't have to be alcohol. I'm just using that a recent example in my own personal midlife, but sticking to your vision is easier when it's grounded in your why, like, in your soul. Sure. But, Cam, I love that you discussed this with your friends because hopefully our listeners have friends like that that even if the friend isn't on the same path, Being open enough and having that trust with the other person where you can actually open up and talk about it is great. And even if the other people were like, you know what? I really enjoy this. On Friday night, I have a glass of wine and I really enjoy it, and that's okay for you. So I love that you actually had that conversation. Yeah. And it was great. And and we're also from 3 different generations. So Oh, interesting. Yeah. So we weren't even she's one's turning 40, One's 28, and I'm 55. So it was like multigenerational, and that is also beautiful that you can be those ages and still, like, I this is what I want for myself. So I thought that was very encouraging. Oh, yeah. And I'm sure you gave some wisdom. I can tell you the person I was at 40 and 28 is not the person I am today. And I just adore them, so I'm glad we're friends. I really don't see I have blinders when it comes to age. I really don't know how old people are. So we actually had that conversation at the dinner table too, how old are you? Yeah. Yeah. I love that as well because some people feel older than they are and some people don't feel as older they are. So In some respects, age is not just a number, but in some ages, I think we have to respect the the 50 whatever years we've lived and and What of what our bodies have endured in that time? Exactly. And we have to treat them with extra kindness now. Because really, I I feel like the bandwidth is narrow. Like, you can't get away with the stuff used to. True story. We're talking about age and, you know, the bandwidth. Literally, an hour ago, I talked to my mom. My mother is 82 years old And she said, I have to tell you, I walked 7 miles last week. I was like, mom. Wow. So she walks About a mile a day, and she said, you know, I used to be able to do it in 20 minutes and now it takes me a little longer than 30. But I thought that is so good. Like, she has Set a goal, she's walking a mile a day and she did it every day last week and so I was just so proud of her. Yeah. That's great. I know you mentioned her on last week's podcast. So that's awesome. She's doing all that. That's great. I'm just so proud. At 82, I'm like 30 minutes for a mile, you go girl. The fact that you're actually doing it, That just speaks to her commitment to this goal. Exactly. And so that's the whole thing other thing. You can have all the knowledge in the world, but if you're not action you're not taking the action steps, You know, if yeah. If you're just learning about blood sugar, but you're not, like, eating for better blood sugar, for example, yeah. You yeah. It's putting it in action because of your vision and because you have blinders on and because you know what you want for your life. Yeah. Absolutely. I just love that. So, you know, here's Tip number 3, which is also fantastic, is to seek out others on a similar journey. Mhmm. Yeah. And so interesting. You mentioned you have different groups of friends. I would say I have different groups of friends for different situations as well. And so when you are changing, it's making your maybe your core group uncomfortable, maybe they're giving you a hard time or Trying to pour wine in your glass or give you a pumpkin pie or pecan pie, whatever it is. So it may may be easier to Find other people that are also on the same journey that you're on. So you have some support group, like, how did you deal with this? Like, what we were talking about. Yeah. Exactly. Because these people that are on the same journey as you are at the moment are gonna bring some positive energy and encouragement menopause it is amazing. If you feel like you're going it alone, whether it's a career change or a health and fitness journey or being a new parent or being an empty nester, whatever that new journey Yes. Sometimes it feels very lonely and you're thinking, well, are other people struggling? And it is amazing to me, My my most recent thing is everyone knows my father-in-law passed. And so getting together with other adults whose Parents are aging or have dementia or are recently widowed. It is so supportive, Cam. I can't tell you how amazing that feels to be amongst Others because it's not just about support and you can do it and do you need anything, it's about laughter. It's about cam you believe mom did this and it's not a disrespectful joke, It's a commiserating. It's a I'm right there with you and then experiencing what you are, and that's a beautiful thing. I love that. And in my world, it's my business friends right now. Oh, yeah. I have a group that meets, yeah, I have a group that meets on Monday and, like, we're just in this together figuring it out. And although we are all independent And business owners, we're they're such a a collaborative, I would say. Like, this is working. This isn't working. Have you tried this? You know, I don't know. So I feel very supported that way. I'm glad you have support about the the parents. I'm just not I haven't gotten there yet. I know it's coming. Right. And that's okay and I think that's what's beautiful about having these diverse sets of friends and kinda and somehow intuitively, Sometimes we kinda gravitate to towards those kinds of groups of people. We don't even really know what's happening. I think it's kind of that innate human of, Let me find someone that's experiencing the same thing that I am, but community is beautiful and I and I love it because some things are really hard And if you do feel like you're alone in the pursuit, I think it's much harder to be to feel like you're in a safe space and supported and successful. I agree. Like, community really helps you. I always say roadblocks and ditches. Like, you don't wanna be in the ditch. So you can if you do get in the ditch, can get out of the ditch faster because there's people around you supporting you. Yeah. And and same with the roadblocks. Right? You might perceive something as to be Really hard. Mhmm. And it's just basically this little rock that you have to move out of the way or step around, but you can't see how to do it. But someone in your group, whether it's your business group or your friend group or your church family, maybe like, well, why don't you try this? You know, it's just 1 and you're like, why didn't I Think of that. And it's just like, oh, man. What what cam up for me too is the reframing because maybe it's really not a roadblock. Yes. I don't know. You know, maybe it's either you got what you wanted or you got the lesson you needed. Like Yeah. Yeah. Right there. So maybe it's really not a red Anyway, community is amazing. So It is it is amazing. Finding people that are on the same journey with you is really helpful for sure. One of the things I asked my 1 on 1 clients that I have an intake form is, like, who's in your family? Like, who's supporting you on this journey? Because it's really hard when you're trying to create new habits and a new way of life if the people at home are buying Cheetos and Pringles. Like, it's it's really tough, and so you have to be, like, very firm in your and your decision to change or it's gonna be really easy to get off track. Right? Right. And I had a similar When I was coaching triathletes, it had a slightly different tact or or whatever you wanna say because, You know, most of my clients didn't have, spouses that were in the sport. So I had to remind them that while you think this is really cool, your Faust may not. So it's just an awareness of the people around you. It's an awareness of what their truth is, of what their authenticity Authenticity is and being respectful. But like you said, if this is a positive life change, it may be more difficult if If your family is not supportive, I did used to work with a woman who was really trying to drop some weight. She was probably in her late forties and her husband too, And he was not interested, Cam. I mean, he was not interested. He was a big guy. He loved his beer and Cheetos. He loved, you know, sitting in his On the weekend and many Monday mornings, she would come in so defeated and say, you know, I tried so hard this weekend and, you know, by Sunday afternoon of 48 hours of being subjected to him, he wasn't intending to be mean, but she was just Really down about it. And, you know, I did the best I could. I honestly lost track of her and I don't know how she fared, But I just felt really bad for her because she felt like he just was never gonna be supportive of this goal. Yeah. I feel have a I have a huge amount of empathy for her because that's tough. Right? Yeah. You need a team. You need a support group. Yeah. And when she married this guy, this It was her 2nd marriage and when she married him, they were both pretty big, like, physically large people. Mhmm. And they, you know, watch Sporting events together and went to concerts and did lots of fun things that didn't involve a lot of movement. And as she began to do things, he I felt left out. He was like, well, I don't I don't wanna do that. Like, why don't you do something with me? And she's just like, because you're doing nothing, Like literally. So again, I didn't keep up with her because it was a work relationship, but, you know, you you like you said, we have empathy for these people and it's really Hard on a case by case basis to give really concrete advice because you're not there with them every day, but they gotta know their why. Yeah. It has to come from within in. I I wanna say that. Like, it's from within first and then external people around you, that's helpful. But if you're convicted in what you really want and it's firm inside of you, then it's gonna be okay. And then the bonus people would be the bonus people that are also on the same journey with you or support you or your fan club, you know, all the things. Have you worked with people who did not have a sport a supportive home environment at first, but then once They really saw they were really committed. Did their family members ever actually then mimic that journey? Yeah. I I can't say that specifically, but I can say they became more convicted in their like, what they wanted. And so, you know, they weren't gonna go out to eat 5 times a week or whatever, and so they just change their ways. Yeah. But it's hard when you're living in under a roof of people that don't really care of what you're doing. I think it's because it goes back to the first point that you're making them uncomfortable. They've never thought about that that from themselves. And, like, your example that they got married and that's how they were. Right? This is the status quo. And then 1 person decides, no. I don't really want this anymore. I wanna be I wanna do this other thing. I wanna be eating, exercising, whatever it was that makes people really uncomfortable. Yeah. And one thing I can say just knowing you and knowing myself, and I hope some of our listeners will feel the same way is I feel really good about being a good example for my kids. Mhmm. You know, I have to be honest, I think I've said this before, I gave them the frozen kids meal when they were toddlers and I I hate that, but it was. As I grew on my health journey when they were little, up through teenagers, now that they're adults, we my husband and I talked about this yesterday, they've learned to look for nutritious options. They still go out to eat and they really enjoy it, but, you know, they they are cooking for themselves and they're really trying to make a difference. They're going to farmers markets and Looking for organic, and I think that's just I know that's miles ahead of where I was when I was 28 years old. 100%. Feel good about that. Yeah. Alyssa used I'm used to make I don't know. They she called them keto crackers. I don't know why I did that, but it was in my forties and I was cross fitting. I was like, oh, Food really matters. Let's see if I can change my food. I think I talked about my beer and ice cream last week. And so Yeah. Anyway, one once I made the change, I'm like, Oh, I can even get more results if I change what I eat? Like, that was such a shocking revelation when I was in my, I don't know, 43 or so. It crazy that I didn't know that until then, but I didn't. And she tells stories about horrible stories about the food I made her eat during this time period, And she was probably 12 10, 12, something like that. But now she now she chooses that. So we laugh about it. It's funny, but during when you're that age. She's like, what are you doing mommas? Yeah. Totally. And, you know, I think millennials are really more open than we were. I think they're open and they're more accepting of each other's behavior choices. Like, when we were growing up, I didn't I guess I knew what vegan was, but I certainly didn't know any people that were And so now, like when my daughter has people over, she makes sure to ask what their dietary restrictions are And that doesn't mean if you're allergic to milk. That means what is your preference? Like, if you prefer not to eat whatever, she's respectful. And I just say that's one of the beautiful things about the the millennials. They get a lot of flat, but I think that they got a lot a lot going that's right. It's because they were raised by really strong Gen x women. That's why I'm saying that. Yeah. I don't I'm not gonna fight you on that one. That's for sure. Yeah. And about the, you know, the freezer meals or whatever, ever. Like, we did the best we could. And as soon as we learned something new and we understood the impact, like, on our kids and on ourself, then we change. So we We have to forgive ourselves from those choices. Right. And I would take that 1 step further to now for people that are listening. If you If you wanna change because you've learned something from what you read or something you've heard from us, give it a go. Like, you know, it doesn't mean just Because you've done something the same way your whole life or this is what your mom said or your even your doctor, dare I say, doesn't mean it's right. You've gotta find what's right for you. 100%. And again, it starts on the inside. Absolutely. So, you know, I think what we're saying, Cam, is we want you to be Strong. We want you to be I don't mean convicted in a negative sin in a negative sense, but convicted on the inside To do what you know is right. And I guarantee you with a positive attitude, people will actually come around. I really believe that. Yeah. And also be an experiment of 1 because what you think is right may not be right the first time. So don't give up the 1st time if you try something and it didn't work out. It's okay. Right. It's part of the journey. Yeah. It's all part of the journey. Thanks for listening today. You can find us on Instagram at midlife. For all of our other contact info, check out the show description below, And we will talk to you next week.