Midlife Mommas: A Girlfriends Approach to Life After Menopause

How to Use the 80-20 Rule When You're 40+

February 07, 2024 Amelia & Cam Season 3 Episode 140
Midlife Mommas: A Girlfriends Approach to Life After Menopause
How to Use the 80-20 Rule When You're 40+
Show Notes Transcript

The 80/20 rule - you've probably heard of it, but how do you apply it? Does it even work?
In this episode of the Midlife Mommas Cam and Amelia give you some tactical tips to using the 80/20 rule to maintain focus and avoid burnout.

00:00 Focusing on valuable work in business.
04:39 Encourage outsourcing home tasks to save time.
07:15 Rotate wardrobe, use fitness clothes, avoid habits.
10:51 Struggling with health goals due to environment.
13:50 Stay on track, learn, reset, choose again.
17:07 Gradually increasing protein can make a difference.
20:42 Rest is crucial for muscle growth and recovery.
24:59 Long-distance triathlete used exercise to indulge.
26:23 Gratitude leads to trust and more action.

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It's not enough to be busy, so are the ants. The question is, what are you busy about? Henry David Thoreau. Cam, I think I've heard of Henry David Thoreau, but what do ants have to do with us? What is this about? Hi. I'm Cam, holistic health coach, mom to 2 humans and 4 pets. Hi. I'm Amelia, laboratory Scientists by day and food scientists by night. Welcome to our show. Join us as we share our holistic approach to life after 50. You can expect real life stories with a dash of humor and a ton of truth. If it happens in midlife, we're going to talk about it. So hit that subscribe button and follow along. We're the Midlife Mommas. Hi, everybody. Welcome back to the podcast. We're gonna talk about the 80 20 rule today and how that applies to midlife. Yeah. I love it. And we said this Quote about being busy is because we're gonna delve into the 80 20 rule, what it is, how is it applied to business or work life, How it's applied to your health, your nutrition, and your exercise. Because if you're a person who made a New Year's resolution to get healthier, Even if it's going great, you might be surprised about the 80/20 rule. Absolutely. And, you know, if you're a to do lister, like, What's on your list? What like, what really matters? So this principle, this 80/20 principle will help you decide for yourself, Like, what really matters so you don't have to do everything on your list? Because the goal is to do only 20% of the activities to equal 80% of the results, which I like that. I like that math. That's Good math. Yeah. I like that too, Cam. And I think we do get caught up in trying to be perfect or trying to do all of the things. When if we narrow down our activity to a certain percent, you know, we will get a whole lot of results. So, I don't know if we won't just start, like, I think when we talk about what the 80 20 rule is, let's kinda start there. What how do you define the 80 20 rule? Yeah. So it's the idea that 80% of your outcomes, whatever that may be, whether it's business or health or whatever fitness doesn't matter, result from 20% of the actual actions that you're taking. So I just want you to imagine you're a mile long to do list. All of those actions aren't gonna equal, your result. Only about 20% of those actions on that to do list is gonna give you 80% of what you want. That's kinda neat to think about. Yeah. Absolutely. And I think it's a great way to hone in on what actually is valuable. We see this, there's many references to this in business whether you work for yourself or you work for someone else, where a lot of the work We actually do is busy work. Mhmm. And sometimes those priorities are set for us by other people where they say, I need this, this, this, and this. And my experience, Cam, has been I've been asked for a report, and I shouldn't admit this on air, But I will. If I just don't do it, a lot of times the the person requesting it doesn't come back and ask for the data. Or or it could be that you have this long list of things to do and you realize that the list is 20 long, But the urgent things float to the top, you get those done, and then the rest of it doesn't really matter. So I think there's many different ways to look at this. And I'll also make a point of saying, you know, as far as like living in your own home, most people Actually live on a daily basis in 20% of the rooms in their house and 80% of it goes unused. So that's another kind of Weird yet, very concrete way to look at the 80 20 rule. I love that. In my world of business, We do something my coach has us do something called time audits. And, like, literally, for a few days, we track everything we do and how many minutes we spend on whatever x y z. And it's kind of like an audit, like, what do we need to outsource? Are your actions and you're spending your time, is it gonna result in what you're what you're building your business for? And so that's how I've used the eightytwenty role, and I did hire someone last year and she's been amazing and she helps me do things. I'm helping her grow her business, but she's also helping me grow mine and I'm outsourcing or outsourcing things that I don't need to touch. It actually She works behind the scene on the podcast. She's the one that uploads the transcripts and all that. So anyway That's really awesome and I've Encourage my husband with this as well because he's pretty much self employed, and he spends a lot of time on home tasks. Sweat and I'm not even talking about, like, yard work, but, fix it items, like, I can't even think of an example, Cam. You know, Reattaching, pulls from a drawer or rewiring something or Fixing a toilet and obviously those things can be quite important, but depending on the the time it takes to do these mundane tasks, If he is taking time away from his work life, I think it's counterproductive. So, I I would encourage you in business and Cam, you're actually, You know, you're an entrepreneur, so you can speak to this. I would almost say, think about how much you get paid or would like to get paid for your time. And let's just say for the sake of a round number, let's just say$50 an hour. If you are doing something that's taken a lot of Time and you can pay someone else less than that, just all source it. Like, why are you wasting your Time doing things that aren't valuable. That's kind of how I take it. Totally. And that's exactly what James, my, mentor does. Exactly. He says, what's your hourly rate, and are you doing tasks in your business that are less than that? You're you're yeah. So exactly. That's exactly how he phrases it. I love it. Yeah. Some of the things that you may spend time in your home, you may really enjoy. So for instance, if you're a person that really likes to cook like myself, I I may spend more time doing that out of pleasure. It's not like I want to just go buy ready made food anyway, but I mean, I think there's some things. Some people like my mom, she loves to clean her house. She honestly, that's therapeutic for her. My daughter's the same way. I'd rather pay someone $25 an hour or something like that to do it. But you have to consider that in some of these task as well is you don't want to Short change yourself if there's something you really enjoy, but time is money. I mean, I hate to be blunt about it, but it's true. You're absolutely right. And we can't get back. Like, we can get more money, but we can't get more time. Like, once the minute's gone, it's gone. Yeah. 100%. I love it. I love this too. Do you Sven, do you wear 20% of the clothes you own? That's another way this principle shows up, and I would say yes. Don't. It it seems like as soon as it comes out of the laundry, it's back on my body. Does that happen at your house? It does. So I'm Really good about rotating my professional wardrobe because I have to go to the office and I go on work trips, but I've I have a very good friend who owns a women's, Clothing boutique. And that's what she tells women. If you're gonna invest in your wardrobe, you actually have to use it. And, you know, if you're a person that's struggling with your, fitness goals, you actually have to put the fitness clothes on. Like, don't just style the things and not wear them. So, yeah, I think We get into habits. We may get into habits of, you know, stocking our pantry and we use the same type of thing every week. The The can of beans, the can of tomatoes, the whatever. So yeah. Mhmm. There's a there we get into a habit. So some of this is habit, but some of it is true efficiency. Love it. Love it. Let's move on to the 80 20 rule when it comes to healthy eating. So I like what you've already mentioned. I'm really good at keeping things like we mentioned in stock, and I rotate, and I'm a mix and matcher. I don't really follow recipes. I think you're the same. And so it's Yeah. So easy. Like, I'm gonna make a lentil black bean stew, later today, And I had all of the ingredients in the house, which is awesome. I did buy, fresh cilantro because that's like a bonus. I could have used dried, but why not use fresh? So I love that that you have those things in the house and you can mix and match. That would be an example, making sure you have staples in the house. That's 20% will equal 80% of your results. Think of all the things if you have these staples, 20% staples in your house, have all the recipes you can make. Yeah. For sure. Mix and batch and combine, but it's also true as far as healthy eating. If you're on a health journey and you're Trying to improve your diet, the general diet. I'm not talking about a diet as defined by cutting calories to shed weight. I'm talking about your diet as the foods you eat. If you're generally trying to be healthy, what you what you eat 80% of the time is going to move the dial more. Meaning, If you want to cheat, and I use those term that term in air quotes because I hate the idea of we're being bad. We're just We're just we want that cheesecake on the weekend or we want those chips and salsa. That's okay. That 20% of quote cheat Is not gonna derail your entire health system. 100%. A 100% agree with that. Yeah. And if you're trying to be perfect and some, You know, sometimes I felt that way, like, trying to be perfect and do everything right. And then if one little thing goes off the rails, you're like, forget it. I'm throwing in the towel. And instead of it, you offer yourself grace. So if you're if you're hitting your goals 80% of the time, that's alright. That's really Some pat yourself on the back. Yeah. Absolutely. And if you're using metrics, whether it's strength gains, weight loss, body comp changes. I I cam a testament to if you do the right stuff 80% of the time, you're gonna see Positive changes in those areas even if you're measuring. So I I think this idea of grace is so pivotal pivotal and it's so important in midlife To give yourself that grace and allow yourself the freedom of of that latitude or that flexibility. Yeah. I think getting our mind Right? And, like, embracing that this is not gonna be perfect, and we're not gonna eat perfect a 100% of the time. And by the way, what is perfect? Some random definition you decided for yourself. Right. Yeah. Like, I was talking to a client earlier, at the end of last week, and, like, pizza's something I will never get up. I've talked about that Openly, and she said the same thing. I'm like, you're my person. I'll show you how to eat pizza within and still reach your goals. So I'm the right coach for you. I love that, and I think we all have that. And going back to what you said, Cam, about perfection, especially if you have some fairly lofty health goals For 2024, you have really good intentions. And like you said, if it starts to go off the rail, we have a tendency to pitch in the towel. So why is that? And what is it about our environment that makes that true? And the one thing I'd like to point out is our food system is broken in the United States. We have so much opportunity to eat relatively nutrition bereft foods. Given anything packaged or fast food, it's just crap for you. When you combine that with the messaging we're getting from marketing where these people are Paying 1,000,000 of dollars to sell you a story that's false, it's really hard to stay on track. So if you think you're gonna be perfect, Just don't. I mean, you know what I mean? Like, it's it's a virtually impossible thing. Yeah. And and then on our food, we've talked about the bliss point. It's, like, literally hijacked With fat, salt, and sugar for to make you crave it more and be less satisfied. Like and it's really funny to me that, you know, you Eat a bag of Oreos. I don't know why I always use that example or because they don't have breaks. I think if you start eating Oreos, they really don't have breaks unless you, like, physically moving out of your Out of your vision or Pringles or some other food. Yes. Like, they there's no nutrition there and it leaves you wanting more and more and more. I don't know. I agree with you and not, you know, it's not, Pringles or Oreos, but I gotta be honest with you, pretzels will do Yeah. And so I have to portion out, like, I'm not kidding you. Today, I really my husband had bought some of the, like, the dark Bavarian pretzels and I love them. So I weighed 20 grams. I mean, it seems obsessive, but from the perspective of I weighed them out, I knew what was in that Twenty grams and then I put it away, it helped me with portion control. Because I would have eaten at least half the bag, maybe not the whole bag, but I think that we have to Yeah. There's no breaks. Yeah. Right. But but I allowed myself that which isn't really a normal food. It's not horrible, but there's if when you look at, You know, when I was in my thirties, I'd be like, oh, pretzels are like that, they're so healthy. Well, there's no vitamins in there, like, it's just filling, you know, it's carbs It's in my stomach. So that's a whole another rabbit hole can, but I don't feel bad about eating the pretzels that we have. You shouldn't. And I love I love that strategy. Like, lay it out then put it out get it out. Don't don't bring the whole bag to the couch. It's not a good story. It was totally not. And, you know, kinda Getting back to the 80 20 rule, when you're talking about goals, if you want something that is a stretch. But when you create unrealistic goals and then you beat yourself up if you don't meet them, that's just that's just a recipe for failure and self flagellation and all the negative, You know, mind traps. You can go tomorrow. And, you know, what about if you, like, hold yourself together or keep your goals on track Monday through Friday and the weekend comes and you just, like, let it go or or you get in the mindset, well, I messed up now. I just might as keep messing up until Monday or whatever your startover date is. And I like to think of it this way. Like, literally, if you're off the rails, okay, like, learn what can you learn from it? And your very next decision, you can be right back into that 50%. You don't have to wait for another day or another week or another month. You can just choose the next step. Exactly. And the more you do it, Cam, I would say the more easy it gets. From many Perspective from the mindset because you're building up confidence that, hey, I can eat that cheesecake, I can have that glass of wine on the weekend, and I can still stay on track. But also it's confidence, you know. You're you're like, oh, yeah, I can do this kind of thing. And for me personally, I lose a taste for some of that stuff. If I don't consume it, I really enjoy it when I have it and then it's easy to be like, okay, I'm done, ready to go back to the normal things. Yeah. It reminds me of a quote we used to say, taste everything, binge on nothing. Like, really enjoy it. Yeah. Yeah. Pulling that one out from the past. And the other thing that you have, it's better to have a doable plan and make sure they're realistic. Done is better than perfect. I wanna go that's another one of our quotes in our house. Yeah. So, Cam, let's kinda talk about what food category is the 20% for midlife. Yeah. I just read a beautiful research article about this morning, and it's protein. Not really surprising if, you know, that that eating that in your diet is going to move the needle 80%. So that's how we would use the 80 20 in that particular thing. So it's 20% of your diet, let's say. Actually, it's a little bit more probably, but it'll move the dial the most. You can actually change your body composition by just eating more protein, and that doesn't even include strength And then if you add strength training, wowza. There you go. Yeah. Yeah. And I didn't believe this. If you'd Asked me this 2 years ago until I actually lived it. It took me a while to get to that point of eating enough protein because the notes say 30 Grams per meal. Yep. And I would have said 2 years ago, oh my god, that's so much. So if you eat 3 meals, that's 90 grams of protein, which I actually achieved most days. And then usually, I will eat a snack and I try to include protein there too. So I have to be honest, I'm usually over a 100 grams a day And there was a time in the not very distant past where I was probably hovering at about 65 grams a day. So, you know, you have to take your time with it, but I've seen a huge, benefit. You know, I'm not as hungry. Yeah. It's amazing. And the latest research is that 30 grams. So it contains, the leucine, which is an amino acid, and that helps our muscles, and that's really important. So as we age, we're actually able to digest or use the protein that we eat. Our body doesn't use it as efficiently. That's one reason why we need more protein in midlife. And then also, on the other hand, we're losing muscle naturally. So we wanna do everything we can to keep as much muscle on our body as possible. So I was really excited about the new research. So that's your goal. That should be your goal, 30 grams for meal. Yeah. And I think it's a great goal and I know we've talked about tracking and if you're not tracking but want to, Protein's a great place to start. So if you track just your protein for a while, I think you'll see a big difference. And if you try to move it up a little bit, if you're if you're not At 30 grams a meal, I think, I mean, and going overnight is not always a good idea. No. Not a Drastically increasing protein overnight Cam send you into a little bit of, let's just say, distress. Yeah. But, yeah, gradually, and it does make a huge difference. Yeah. And the way the best way to do this is just think, What is my protein first? Like, think protein forward, snacks, meals, you know, what is that? And then build everything else around it. Add add the, quote, unquote, fun foods around your protein. And just think of it as a big game and be an experiment of 1, and that's another one of our quotes. Yeah. Absolutely. So, Cam, this let's get a little bit more into your, realm. Let's talk about the 80 20 rule as it relates to fitness. The here's a quote on our notes here. The allure of taking in the quick and easy way out appeals to most of us. That reminds me of our microwave goals from a couple weeks ago. Yes. Yes. Yeah. It's so true because our brains look for the fastest way to get from point a to point b in everything we do. So part of conserving energy, because your brain takes a lot of energy is, it kind of does this really rapid assessment. Have I done this before? How do I get it done the fastest? So it kind of translates even when we talk about habits and fitness and exercise and food. What's the shortest way? And when we latch on to that, it's really hard. We have to tell ourselves, well, maybe this isn't the best way. So we're kinda hardwired that way. We've got Fight it. Yeah. Our brain wants to keep us safe and alive. And so many times when we're trying to create new habits, it's stuck in that rut, if you will, in that rut of what you've always Done. And if you're trying to create something new, your brain's like assessing. Is this safe? Should I do this? And all the things. Right. Yeah. Yes. And so life is super busy, so we naturally cut corners. It's just kind of the pace of life we live. If you work, if you're a mom, if you Take care of aging parents. You know, sometimes your fitness is the easiest thing to scratch. So how can we use the 80 20 rule cam To get the most out of our workout. So what do you think the 20% activities are that equals 80% of the results? Just take a while, guess. Yeah. Well, I can tell you what I Think has worked for me, and this is I've been working on this for about 8 months, and it's walking and strength training. That's it. That's it. Those are the 2 I would call them big rocks. That's how I word it. And then because you're only strength training twice a day, you're automatically getting more rest Days away from the gym so your muscles can actually grow and get stronger between your workouts. That's when they get stronger, when you feed them and you rest So I love it. That's exactly it. Those 2 things, walking and strength training, will be the dial movers when it comes to fitness and midlife. I love it. Now when we talk about days of rest or or periods of rest, is it okay to still do low intensity light walking on? Because I kinda walk every day. 100%. So walking and moving, all that is a daily thing that actually falls into the nonexercise of your, metabolism, it's like 15% of your daily calories. It's just moving, standing at your desk, walking your dog, doing the laundry. Well, like, all that stuff adds up to a lot of calorie burn, if you will, in your metabolism. So that's really important. I'm talking about rest days from strength training. So, like Okay. When you lift weights, it actually causes, like, little micro tears in your muscles. And in the recovery, in the time between those workouts, that's when they grow and get stronger, and that's when you get your muscles popping out of your skin. That's what you want so that when they repair the tears, that's when they get stronger. So if you're strength training every single day, there's no chance for them to grow stronger and repair. Now when we were younger, we could get away with that, but in midlife, we need more rest. And so I like, like, a a Monday, Thursday split, something like that. We have to be flexible. I mean, obviously, not every week can you say to the same schedule. You have to be flexible. Like, if you lept like horrible. Mhmm. There's no way you should go to the gym and strength train. Now maybe a walk would be better for you at that day. You just have to be flexible, but making sure you get 2 days a week will benefit you for sure. That's definitely a 20eighty rule. Yeah. So I usually do my strength training On days I work from home, which are generally either Tuesdays Fridays or Tuesdays Thursdays. Perfect. Yeah. I For the Tuesday, Friday, but there are sometimes where and if I'd if I only have like, if I strength train on a Tuesday morning, I might, on Thursday, might not do as much. It just depends on how I feel, Cam. You know, I I do pay attention to my body, but I also wanted to tell a quick story about my mom. I talked to her yesterday, and she had put on some weight over the summer last year, I think, and She wanted to pull that off. Her clothes weren't fitting, so she started walking just a mile. Mhmm. She's 82 years old. Talked to her yesterday and She says, well, you know, I haven't done very good. I I her sister came to visit and then something else happened, and she said, but Monday, I worked in my yard. Now she said 4 hours. Now don't think she's, like, sweating buckets and not taking breaks. We're talking about, You know, she'll go drink some lemonade and sit on the porch, but still I was like, mom, you that's movement, like that counts. Even though you didn't walk that day, your formal, like, mile Walk, it still counts. And then on Thursday, she does her laundry and she she does the dusting. So for 82, I was like, this is awesome. Right? Like, She's moving. These things require multi joint action for her to pick up the pine cones and, you know, push the vacuum, and I just I hope when I'm 82, I'm as healthy as my mom. That's exactly that's the nonexercise activity. That's 15% of your metabolism. It's a hue it's the largest changeable part of your metabolism. So doing all that stuff is amazing, and I'm proud of her for doing that. Yeah. She's so good. Has the weight changed since she started moving more? I think so, but, you know, she she told her doctor that it had taken her a a year to put on, I think it was 10 or 12 Pounds and she said, so I'm giving myself that much time to take it off. Now She's wise. I know. And yes. I know. And I was like, Because when I gained £10 this summer, I wanted it gone in, like, 3 months. Yeah. Right. But, you know, she's just so self aware that That she that she does need breaks from physical movement. Like, she's like, if I get tired, I'll just sit down and I'm just like I just Praise her so much. She's just amazing. Yeah. So what she's talking about is the movement part versus exercise. So movement is low stress and low hunger, which are big that's those are winners. If you're doing, like, intense cardio, you're typically under more stress. You're typically gonna be hungry for you know, want more calories, want more food afterwards. So I love what she's doing. That would fall into the movement category. Love it. Love it. I absolutely do agree. And we have, a little quote here I want you to speak to, Cam. This kinda ties in the 80 20 rule with fitness and healthy eating. It says 80% Of abs, meaning your abdominal, like your 6 pack or whatever are made in the kitchen. So tell us what that means. That's true. So, like, if you were to think of a pyramid or a triangle, the base of your fitness or the base of your healthiness is definitely nutrition. You can't out train an unhealthy diet. That's another quote. Like, you could be killing it in the gym and, like, doing all the things and lifting all the weights, But if you're still, you know, eating ice cream and drinking beer every night, it's not gonna work. It's not you're not gonna see the gains from your efforts and so There you go. Yeah. And I'm a testament to that. Right? So I raced long distance triathlon for about a 10 year period between, I don't know when I started. Let's just say 35 to 45, that's kind of a guess, but I did all of that because I used exercise As a reason to allow me to drink the beer and eat ice cream, and I did it. Like, I actually I use pregnancy for that purpose as well, so That on me, but but, you know, I I don't know, I don't know what my health was because I wasn't seeing a A functional medicine doctor, so I didn't see a physician unless I was sick. So I didn't track the hormones. I didn't track all that stuff, but I think I look and feel better now than I did then. Yeah. I I I the beer and ice cream, that's totally my story too. When I started CrossFit forever, I was like, well, I worked Today, so I'm gonna eat this ice cream or I'm gonna drink this beer, and that was totally in my early forties what I was thinking. And I remember And then I started building muscle because I'd never lifted weights before. And if you're new to strength training, you're gonna notice muscle gain faster than the people that have been in the game forever. And so I was like, 41, 42, and I was like, wow. My body's really changing. What if I stopped eating all the ice cream? And what if I took down the beer consumption. What would happen then? So it was something internal, but it wasn't right away. So Yeah. And this is really not about the 80 but I'm gonna throw this out here. So once you start even a a small percentage of the time doing the things, it makes you Grateful and it makes you want to do more. And if you're a person of faith or go to church or do a devotional, we talk about faith and we talk about, You know, what what the walk of faith looks like and part of that is gratitude. Part of that is being grateful for what you have, which then spurs you on to be more trusting. If you wanna call that karma or whatever, but it also makes you more trusting in the process. So I think, you know, starting small is amazing and then it gives you that Foundation to to do a little bit more. Yeah. My exercise started because I was running away from a divorce or a separation, right, and left the classroom. That was my initial motivation, but then it became internal, and I was like, oh. Mhmm. Oh, I see the shift now, and then truly grateful that how your body You move through space using gravity. Yeah. I agree with you a 100%. It is amazing what you can do when you put your mind to it, and it doesn't have to be perfect. I think that's the take My message here folks is, you know, the 80 80% of the time is a lot and you don't have to be per none of us Are perfect, so why even try? But I do think that it's important to realize that any amount of effort is going to yield some results. Yeah. And then there are some really big DAO movers like protein moves the DAO more than other things. Strength training moves the DAO more than. So if you put your Efforts into those buckets, you're gonna even see greater results. That's how I look at it. Great advice. I do love that. Thanks for listening today. You can find us on Instagram@midlife.mommas. For all of our other contact info, check out the show description below, and we will talk to you next week.