Who'd have thought you could 'crockpot' without an actual crockpot??
Today, Cam and Amelia use this term to talk about the process of allowing ideas to simmer. Do you ever have a great idea about:
Then you either:
A) decide that it's not for you (you are scared, you procrastinate, or decide it's dumb)
B) fail to act
C) jump in without thinking twice
'Crockpotting' is the idea of slowing down, of really carefully considering. It's NOT being lazy, procrastinating, nor a failure to act.
Join us as we teach you how to be intentional about next steps.
00:00 Fad diets don't lead to lasting change.
04:26 Health resolutions often fade after February 15th.
08:07 Reflecting, observing, and waiting for guidance.
10:55 Recognize thoughts don't define you; seek truth.
15:14 Reflection and waiting are not inaction.
16:07 Rest is important for creativity and growth.
22:17 Quick access to data is integral today.
24:08 Teaching toddlers to manage emotions, not suppress.
26:17 Childbirth and hard work are most rewarding.
Stay Connected!
Amelia
Cam
Midlife Mommas IG: https://www.instagram.com/midlife.mommas/
Please share, rate, and review the podcast. We appreciate you! ❤️
Who'd have thought you could 'crockpot' without an actual crockpot??
Today, Cam and Amelia use this term to talk about the process of allowing ideas to simmer. Do you ever have a great idea about:
Then you either:
A) decide that it's not for you (you are scared, you procrastinate, or decide it's dumb)
B) fail to act
C) jump in without thinking twice
'Crockpotting' is the idea of slowing down, of really carefully considering. It's NOT being lazy, procrastinating, nor a failure to act.
Join us as we teach you how to be intentional about next steps.
00:00 Fad diets don't lead to lasting change.
04:26 Health resolutions often fade after February 15th.
08:07 Reflecting, observing, and waiting for guidance.
10:55 Recognize thoughts don't define you; seek truth.
15:14 Reflection and waiting are not inaction.
16:07 Rest is important for creativity and growth.
22:17 Quick access to data is integral today.
24:08 Teaching toddlers to manage emotions, not suppress.
26:17 Childbirth and hard work are most rewarding.
Stay Connected!
Amelia
Cam
Midlife Mommas IG: https://www.instagram.com/midlife.mommas/
Please share, rate, and review the podcast. We appreciate you! ❤️
Amelia, do you use the microwave, or do you cook in the crock pot? Let me think about that. Hi. I'm Cam, Holistic health coach, mom to 2 humans and 4 pets. Hi. I'm Amelia, Laboratory scientist by day and food scientist by night. Welcome to our show. Join us as we share our holistic approach to life after 50. You can expect Real life stories with a dash of humor and a ton of truth. If it happens in midlife, we're going to talk about it. So hit that button and follow along. We're the Midlife Mommas. Yeah. Hello, everyone. We are we are into 2024, and, yes, we love to talk about cooking and cooking methods. But, Actually, the secret of today's episode is that while we are comparing methods, it's not actually about cooking. No. We're dreaming up our goals midlife in the future, and we're either going to crock crock pot them or we're gonna microwave them. So Yes, ma'am. And in all fairness, Cam and I both listened to, a a Crossroads series of, What is it Crossroads Church? Is that what it's called? Okay. Crossroads Church. Yeah. And they have a podcast, and this was actually one of their podcast episodes that they talked about Crop potting. So if you think about your thoughts, your goals, your objectives, it's okay to slow cook So we're gonna kinda unpack what that means today and help you guys maybe crop pot some of your ideas so that they'll come out nice and perfect. Right. Exactly. So we're we were inspired by Crossroads, but we're putting our midlife menopause twist on this. And how does this apply to our life to Make sure we're reaching the goals that we wanna reach in our life. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. And some of us, Cam, my my favorite way to frame things up, tends to lean towards, people's Enneagram number. And I'm a 3. I'm a performer. And sometimes we threes and some other numbers and other personalities Like things to be done quickly. We're very concerned with with achieving the goal, having the best performance, and so we want it to be done fast. But there are many times in life where rushing through things, I e, the microwave method might not be the best way to go. I totally think of that. When I think of health and wellness in midlife, I'm thinking of microwave, and I'm gonna compare it to quick fixes. Like, The the fasting diet or the keto diet or the some crazy take these pills diet, all of those are, like, fast fixes, and they don't, like, stick around. I don't know. No. A 100%. I remember back in the day when there was the grapefruit diet or the cabbage soup diet. So, again, I think those, and those mindsets back then, Cam, were exactly that. And I'm not sure they even covered that up to say, you know, change your life and eat this cabbage soup every day forever. But it it is a quick fix. And what we know now after 25, 30 years of both science and experimentation is the fact that The quick fixes may work for a very short time, but very frequently, we go back to the mindsets that we had before and it just doesn't It doesn't alter our path. And when we wanna make positive changes in our life, whether it's our careers or our health or our wellness or our relationships, We have to make long lasting changes that we can maintain. Exactly. Like, what do you do after the cabbage Soup diet, it's over. Exactly. What do you eat? Exactly. Absolutely. But one thing, you know, just like actual cooking in a crock pot, Crop potting as far as ideas and and habit changes, it takes patience. And I'm short on that a lot of Tom, so I have to really be introspective and think about and think about how what this process is gonna look like. Yeah. I like to think of it as marinating. Like, my favorite thing to cook in the crock pot is a brisket, and you put in the bone broth, and you put salt and pepper, and you put onions, and it cooks all day on low. And, like, it smells amazing about 4 or 5 hours in, but it's still not ready. And it's kind of the same thing when it comes to your health and wellness goals. Like, You need to marinate it in a minute. You need to play the long game, even though it smells amazing and it looks like, oh, it's ready. I'm ready. Let's eat it. It's not cooked yet. So that would be my example of that. I I think that's fantastic because sometimes when we think about these quick Fix it. So we're actually on the should path, meaning we're doing things that we think we should do. And that's especially true, Not only in midlife, but especially when we're talking about health and wellness goals, it's the beginning of the year. I used to be really good friends with a woman who was the group fitness or I'm still friends with her. We just don't see each other that much. But she's the group fitness manager for a local gym. And that gym would be busted at the seams until around February 15th Because people had made all these resolutions because they were should should goals. I should go to the gym. But then when real Life gets in the way around the middle of February, a lot of that drops away. So while I want us to think about, you know, our crock pot goals as being things that we shouldn't I should that's the wrong wording. It's not like we shouldn't do them, but we're choosing them not because we should do them, but because it's a real, like, need or desire of our own heart and not that someone else has put on us. Yeah. So I totally agree with you. So if you're shooting your life away, literally, it's Coming from external reasons. It's not internal. So if you can connect what you want in your life, it's just something inside of you, AKA marinate. Like, this is from within me. The answer is within me. I want this whatever you're working towards from something inside of you, then it sticks around because microwave goals are quick fixes, and they're not gonna stick around. It's, you know, 1 and done. 1 and done for sure. So I wanna just Cover some things that you some characteristics or habits that might be good, considerations when you're crock potting your goals or your intentions. And this also I wanna start with a question because I think this is a great way to get in touch with some things that you might want to crock pot. It's what doors are opening and or closing. Because sometimes in life, we are forced to change course because, we've moved, Our job is eliminated for whatever reason. We just feel a pull to do something. Our children grow up and leave. Our parents' is now not as good as it was and we have to help. So what doors for you are opening or closing that's gonna require change? That's kinda what I I like to start with. That's great. Have you noticed any of those in your own life recently? Oh, absolutely. And, well, you know, I changed jobs, but that's been 2 years ago. It took me a year and a half to be very comfortable in my role. It was a very, very painful time for me, but I got through it. And most recently, my father-in-law has passed away. So now my husband and I are both, fatherless, figuratively speaking. Obviously, we had dads during those important Years. But when my dad passed away, Cam, there was no one left to care for because he wasn't married. He and my mom had been divorced for years. And I found that taking care of his material items was super easy because I I was the only one I had to please. Now that my father-in-law has passed, we have his mom to take care of. And it's a completely different thing. It has completely shifted our life. So if you're lucky enough right now to have healthy children And healthy parents enjoy it because it might be a fleeting time, but that for me has been the biggest change as the doors are shifting a little bit as I need to allocate more time for her care. And that just reminds me of embracing versus bracing, one of those models that keep coming up. If you're not flexible when things start to change, and that's when you break. And so, like, being flexible and being open to what's open opening or closing in this case, and going with the flow, I guess. Yeah. Absolutely. So when I was really, like, reflecting into and thinking about what was go what what behaviors I could embrace to crock pot ideas so that I know for sure what the correct course of action would be. Observing, waiting, and listening were come were cam up really strong for me, and I I told Cam before we hit record, listening in general has come up big for me right lately. Just not having to necessarily speak, But to listen listen to the environment, listen to my friends, listen to my family, and waiting because, you know what, we would love things To be microwave fast, but a lot of things in life aren't and waiting for that answer or waiting for that result is difficult. I would like to add the listening is also listening to your body and your emotions and your gut feelings or the lump in your throat or Expansion in your heart, all of those things are, you know, you're being communicated to, and I think our body is this beautiful barometer of truth. And so I would add that to the listen list. Yeah. And you're really good at that. You're really good at being in tune to your body. I'm less so. A lot of times, I jump to conclusions, which I'm trying to backtrack on now. And that causes me to need to reflect. So we talk about this all the time. I do have time for meditation in the morning, but even more so, than just meditating, but reflecting on where I am and what's happening and what I might need to do. And so if you're a person that's super super busy, which most of us are, this is hard To really take time and reflect on what life is giving you so you can know, what to do next, but also recognize Is this door opening or closing and not be angry about it? Just to accept it and what the next thing is. Yeah. So before we hit record, I was telling Amelia I'm taking 2 intuition courses. 1 started last week and one starts tomorrow. And 1 and both of them have homework. It's interesting. They both have the same homework to be silent for 5 to 10 minutes. Like no noise, no chatter, no music, no TV. Have you ever done that? Do you know how hard it is? It is hard. So is part of the exercise also to try to empty your mind and just exist in the space, or or is that not part of it? It's it's being grounded and being present in your body, and then I always like to think of it as the space between your thoughts. Like, can you get a gap between your thoughts? Cause that's amazing when that happens. And then as soon as you oh, there's a gap, then you're thinking again. But Yeah. Just the quiet, the chatter in life outside of you and also internally, That internal voice. Yeah. I might have asked you this before. I've not actually gotten through this book, but several people have recommended. It's called The Untethered Soul. Have you read that or know anything about it? Not. No. I haven't. I actually was perusing my bookshelves yesterday, and I ran across. Was like, oh, I probably need to pull that down. But it's that same idea that we're not tied to our thoughts, but we have to recognize that the voice inside our heads that may be positive and may be negative is not speaking truth. It may be complete crap. So, you know, the untethered soul is about recognizing the difference between you and those thoughts. And I love that you were at your bookshelf and your intuition said, I should really pull that book down Because, Amelia, your body was saying that book is for you. So Yeah. I encourage you to go get it. Yeah. Absolutely. And and one thing, Cam, that's really helped me, and I know you've about doing it occasionally as journaling. I've been had periods of my life where I was an avid journaler, and then currently, I'm really not. I just make some quick notes here there. But for some people, journaling is a vital part of their meditation and introspective life, and I really respect that. Yeah. And then I'll I wanna I learned this recently, actually, on Thursday's call. Our hearts our hands are connected to our hearts. And so when you are physically writing, it is a connection. It's a connection between your heart and your and your your heart. I guess it's what's inside. And the other part of this is when we're on our phones all day, we're cutting that connection to our heart. Oh, so interesting. An open hand. So, anyway, I think there's very there's a value in actually getting a pen and paper instead of typing And actually writing a journal, so I'm I'm for that. I'm I'm still working on it. I'm a work in progress. Well, aren't we all? I mean, none of us are perfect. And, you know, so it may work for some people and not for others. I do find journaling to be helpful, but, also, when we talk about, you know, Finding whatever the intuition is. Mhmm. You know, I Midlife to think of myself as being motivated by Something. Do you feel like you have a natural motivation? Well, it's interesting because I've been thinking about this probably since October. Are my Motivations internal or external, and so I'm trying to shift them into the internal. And I do know that our emotions are, like, the Key to it, way back in my way back in my forties when I was going through marriage counseling, Michael was the counselor, and he was always talking about emotions are in motion. They're in your body and they are moving and so, like, trying to get in touch with yourself. And so I feel like if you can tap into the emotion, Then you can tap into the motivation because it's inside of you instead of outside of you. It's not a should goal. I should do this. I should go to the gym. I should eat that. No. It's inside of you because you've connected it to something that matters to you. I totally agree. And I think as, as an Enneagram cam, who's always about the performance, that's a little harder. Like, to really say, how do I feel about that? But but emotion leads to action. And even as part of my marketing training in my in my, you know, outside of the midlife mama's job, we we talk about this that that people's actions, their behavioral changes are not driven by intellectual decisions. They're they're driven by emotions. I think that's just so interesting. And I don't know. Maybe some people were taught that, you know, you need to make rational decisions And not emotional ones, which in some cases is true, but I think there's real power in tapping into your emotion and the motivation to inspire action. Well, I think it goes back to marinating your thoughts or marinating your actions. And so it's like you're literally crock potting your goals by putting it connecting it to something deeper than an external something, if you will. I I agree, and I actually kind of use That when when when I journal, a lot of times, it's stream of consciousness. Like, I'll just write something down. But then I'll reread it and say, How does how do I feel? Was I trying to get that on paper in order to convince myself of something or is it outlet to, like, let something let go of something? I think we've mentioned that before, Cam, to write something down and then throw it away and actually get rid of it because you need to purge that. Right. In early in my earlier journal days, like, when I was in my thirties, I think I told you I would judge my handwriting, which is So absolutely asinine. I'm sorry. Like, just get it out there and, like, appreciate that you took the time to journal. So anyway yeah. It's so silly. It is it is silly. But, you know, one of the things that we can really slip into when we talk about crop potting our ideas or reflecting or waiting or listening, it feels like it's a time of inaction. It feels like you're being lazy, and that's where I wanna make a little differentiation. It's Kind of like when we talked about, having the tools to exercise. Like, you have the shoes, you have the workout clothes, but you just have the things. You don't do anything with them. So this time of reflection and ruminating, if that's what you wanna call it, is not a time of inaction. It's a time To just sit on something because here's my thought, Cam, and I don't know if you would agree. I think that when the time is right, you'll know it. You know what I mean? Like, I think when the time is right for you to change whatever increase, decrease, whatever. I do think that you kind of know it when you're in tune with yourself just like you you are. Mhmm. Yeah. I do I that is something I've been working on is inaction is not lazy. Rest is your superpower. You know, those are things I'm working through as, you know, I'm in my 5th year of menopause, and so I know I need more rest now than I did my younger me. Definitely, a 100%, But that doesn't mean I'm lazy. And, actually, I'm starting to see that when I'm in inaction and I'm being still and silent, which is really hard, That's when all the creativity comes. And so there's this beautiful gift on the other side of being uncomfortable in silence or Allowing myself to rest and not saying, you're lazy. Get up. Go do x y z. You know, there's some real magic in there, But slowing down the speed up is hard. Yeah. It totally is. And, you know, I in a time of Reflection recently, I don't I didn't make you New Year's resolutions per se, but I wrote just some things about 2024 and beyond. And I gotta be honest, some of it was I know we talked about this late last year, more travel. I'd love to do more travel. But when I wrote down self care, Cam, it wasn't about Doing things. It was about caring for myself and doing exactly what we're saying, the inactivity. And sometimes, I gotta be honest with you, that's afternoon with Netflix. Not always. Yeah. It can be reading, it can be journaling, but those things that don't require, an activity that that makes me tired and exhausted. Because whether or not your job is physical or not, constantly being on is exhausting. So yeah. 100% that we need time off. And what and that looks different for everyone, so it just depends on what you need. And I guess that goes back to Going inside and being connected to yourself and, like, what do I really need right now? Why do why do I need rest? Am I avoiding something? Because that can happen. Yes. Totally. And I would go back to the procrastination, episode that we had with doctor Christine Lee because she's the procrastination coach. So it's a different than procrastination. Are you avoiding something or no? I truly need this break to be a better me. So there's a difference. And, you know, Cam, for me, we we're talking about mind body connection. When I'm procrastinate I Feel that in my stomach. I feel that dread. I feel cranky. I feel embarrassed. Even though I've decided in 2024 that embarrassment and shame are kinda useless emotions. But I do think that when I do procrastinate, it manifests itself in a physical way for me. I feel yucky. Yeah. And so I I get that. I do get that, but that's not what we're talking about here. This is we're talking about reflection and introspection in a positive way, in a way that builds you up. Yeah. I'm all for, like here's an example and a concrete example. If you're if you're go go going on your workouts and you need a week of we call it deload week. I think we've talked Just kidding about it before. Taking a week off, like, recently last week or 2 weeks ago, I was with my daughter, and we walked. We didn't I didn't string train once. I didn't do any cardio. We just walked. And it's like giving my permission. It's like a reset button, if you will. I'm not being lazy during that time. I'm giving my body what it needs in order to be better when I got home. You know? And when I've had times like that, Cam, my workouts are much better. I think to myself, oh, well, you know, I didn't I didn't do whether it's strength training or cardio for a week, week and a half, and it's gonna be so hard when I get back to it. The fact is The amount of regeneration and that the rest has been able to produce is so profound that I'm still stronger and faster than before. Yeah. I totally agree. It's fun. So you can, you know, give yourself permission to take a week off, but here's the problem with, like, when it turns into procrastination is then you never go back, and then that's the problem. Right. But if it's connected to something internally inside of you and it's connected to emotion, I call it your why. Like, what's why. Why do you wanna be healthy? Why do you wanna do this? If you can connect it to that, it makes it so much easier to get back on track. Does. It so does. I mean, that That vision has got to be yours and yours alone, in my opinion. I mean, when you're when you're doing these things for other people, it just never works. And then you feel like Crap. Because you feel like you failed when indeed you're just borrowing someone else's vision. Yeah. And that's the shoulding. Yeah. It is it is the shoulding. So for me, I think about, you know, what do I see, but more importantly, I've got to have a feeling about that thing. I've gotta actually Feel that pull. And sometimes, I it it is kind of a a shoot from the hip. I see a movie or I see an ad or I hear someone else or I listen to a podcast, I think, oh, that's for me. I gotta do that thing. But then I need to stop and listen and reflect and Crock pot, if you will, that idea to know if it's really right for me to know if I feel something some pull about that thing. Totally. Because it's really easy to have shiny object syndrome Yes. And jump from quick fix to the next quick fix. That's not gonna get you where you ultimately wanna go Because there's a difference. There's a time. So you're here and you wanna go there. And what are the 2 ingredients? Time and effort. Time and difficulties. Like, How are you gonna get there? Yeah. Exactly. And, you know, I think we talk about some of these things some sometime sometimes we don't Say it's easy, but the implication is, oh, just go do it, and we're not saying that at all because the truth of the matter is we know that that Achieving a goal is difficult. And if it's not, not that it's not worth it, but I I think we're in a quick fix world that expects everything to be easy and beautiful and it all come together as you think it should, and it just doesn't. It's hard. Yeah. I think that's the microwave effect. Yeah. I I actually I remember the first time I we ever had a microwave at our house. I it was high school. I don't know if you remember yours. And I remember my mom cooking eggs in the microwave, and I was like, that is the weirdest thing ever. I'm not eating those. And now now every once in a while, I'll cook eggs in the microwave, but, really, I wanna cook eggs in the cast iron. So it's kind of the same idea. Yeah. But there's just some things I think we're so accustomed to, data, like quick access to data, quick acts like, If we want something or we want to know where to purchase something, that's a a terrible example, but we just look it up on our phones. Yeah. Or, know, I mean, cooking's a great example. There's real value to to chopping all of your vegetables and not buying them precooked or doing your roast in the crock pot or my latest, Netflix obsession has actually been The Great British Baking Show and I don't even bake. And I totally respect, like, the amount of time and effort that these people put in. And, you know, I'm not a baker, so it's like, I don't feel drawn to the doing this activity, but I totally respect the time and effort it takes for them to do it. I love that. That's fun. Thank you. It is fun. Well and for me, it's great because it's not distressing at all. Like, some television shows are distressing, but that one's not. It's just all fun and, you know, beautiful, so I love that. Yeah. So the other thing I wanted to kinda bring up real quick was the fact that and I think we kinda covered this, Cam, Real change is often motivated by feelings rather than reasoning. Is there anything else we need to say about that? I don't I think it's just being connected to your yourself and, like, what It's inside of you and understanding what your motivation is. I think that's really key, and I think the word emotion I feel like growing up, emotions was something, Like, I wasn't allowed to have emotions. I don't know if it was external or something, an internal rule I made on myself. But you know what? It feels really good to have emotions And be sad or be happy or, you know, all those things that I think that's part of the midlife awakening, like, Reconnecting to yourself, I think that's part of why we have this podcast. Like, anyway Yeah. I agree. And I think, you know, when if you're a parent of Toddlers, bless your heart, but, you know, when we when we teach little people, sometimes I think we make them think that they can't Have emotions. And what we mean is when you're 3 years old and you have a tantrum that we we're trying to teach these people how to Manage the reaction to the emotion, not the not to suppress the emotion. And I think as grown ups, sometimes we need to be reminded of that. You know, we can feel sad and we can feel even, like, maybe someone is hurting us. I see it at the workplace. Sometimes this is really tough in families. Some families just they don't mean to be mean to each other, but words come out in the wrong way. And we still need to know how and remember how to be kind to each other. I mean, I think that's so important. My Michael, the therapist that I worked through my forties, he would say, emotions are in motion, so that's good. We want them to move. And if we don't acknowledge them, they become moods, and they get Stuck in our body. Yes. And so that's really the delineation. So feeling your feelings is really healthy and great. What happens is when we don't feel them, then it Cam up in your body or it turns into a mood, and that's not good. That's not where we wanna be. Yeah. I think you said that before, and I really love that because emotions in motion is so important. I think it's almost like stagnant water. Right? Like, Stagnant water sometimes has all kinds of yucky stuff and mold and and algae, but running water is Clean and smooth and and healthy. So if we can think of things, if we can keep from getting stuck. And again, Since we've been talking about crock potting, crock potting isn't stagnation. It's a time of rest and reflection, not of getting stuck. Yeah. It's marination, which makes it all good in the end. Absolutely. I just love this, and I think this is a great way to start 2024. Yeah. You have a quote on here. When it's hard, you know you're on the right track. What does that mean to you? Well, You know, I don't know where I picked that up. I'm sure it's not original, to be honest with you. But for me, the most satisfying things, which I'm not even gonna lie, and shoots includes childbirth, because childbirth is probably one of the most difficult things, but they're so rewarding, Cam. The things that I've worked hard for have been so rewarding. Because if it's easy, sometimes we take things for granted. So I know just like this I can't I've got to stop saying new job because after 2 years, it's certainly not new. But in retrospect now, I can say publicly that the 1st 8 or 9 months were really hard. And there were many times at the end of the day where I told my husband, I don't know if I can do this. And I've done it. I've done well and I'm thriving, but it was really hard. Mhmm. But it was worth it. And if and so you were crock potting for sure versus is a microwave. You would have jumped from 1 job to another and, you know, hit the ground running, but there was so much growth and Adventure, self discovery in that time period. Yeah. I agree. And I think growth is hard for some people because of the fear. When we when we are growing, and literally some young people, they'll actually tell you they're in pain. When their long bones are growing, they actually hurt. So when we're we're in a growth phase, a lot of times it is literally and figuratively painful, but Gosh. Isn't it amazing to then be able to look back and say, wow. I can do hard things and that's amazing. And I think that part of the journaling is, like, documenting the journey because it's really hard when you're in the muck of it, like, to understand and appreciate the growth that's happening. I was talking to my husband recently. Like, I think we're here to low grow and learn about ourselves, and I can't imagine not not learning more about myself or wanting to learn about the world, like, I that would not Be fun. Just be I have a clue. I do agree with you. I do know people that are very comfortable in their comfort zone and wish not to To move, I don't know what to say about that. That's not how I'm wired. Yeah. But I think even those people who want to stay in the same job and eat The same thing on Monday night every week or whatever. The the bottom line is if there is something that is consistent, it is change. So the harder you fight this, the harder it's gonna be to live in a world that's constantly changing. So why not just embrace it? Let's Just do it. Thanks for listening today. You can find us on Instagram@midlife.mommas. For all of our other contact info, check out the show description below, And we will talk to you next