Midlife Mommas: A Girlfriends Approach to Life After Menopause

Thoughts Are Habits Too with Amy Lang

December 06, 2023 Amelia & Cam Season 3 Episode 131
Midlife Mommas: A Girlfriends Approach to Life After Menopause
Thoughts Are Habits Too with Amy Lang
Show Notes Transcript

How you talk to yourself, ie, your thoughts are habits that affect your daily life, including 'success' or 'failure'. I use those terms loosely, as they are defined by your thoughts too!  
Join us for an informative talk with Amy Lang. She's a master health coach, author, podcast host, and known as the Habit Whisperer. Amy's focus is helping women take a look at their thought habits and how they affect health and weight loss.
Like so many subjects on The Midlife Mommas, weight loss is about mindset. We hope you enjoy Amy's talk and pay attention to her "fundamental five" as s foundation.

00:00 Overcoming unhealthy habits and rediscovering joyful eating.
06:22 Discover your values, find strength, embrace purpose.
08:34 Self-love, inner health, and personal values.
12:59 Prioritize habits for a meaningful change.
14:48 Create habits at a level 9 or 10.
17:34 Distinguishing between intuitive and joyful eating program.
23:00 Culture shifted to unhealthy food mindset; seek joy.
24:32 Love is not indulgence. Self-care vs love.
29:37 Amy expresses concerns about flaws in food culture.
32:08 Frame thoughts with kindness and empowerment always.
33:58 Importance of positive mindset in strength training.
37:20 Grateful for podcast opportunity, book is labor.

Connect with Amy:
Podcast:
Happy and Healthy with Amy Lang
IG/YouTube:
@habitwhisperer on
FB and LinkedIn: @amylangcoaching

Free Resources from Amy:
https://www.amylangcoaching.com/thoughtsarehabitstoo
https://www.thoughtsarehabitstoo.com/roadmap

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Amelia

Cam

Midlife Mommas IG: https://www.instagram.com/midlife.mommas/

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Thoughts or Habits 2 with Amy Lange. Hi. I'm Cam, holistic health coach, mom to 2 humans and four pets. Hi. I'm Amelia, laboratory scientist by day and food scientist by night. Welcome to our show. Join us as we share our holistic approach to life after 50. You can expect real life stories with a dash of humor and a ton of truth. If it happens in midlife, we're going to talk about it. So hit that subscribe button and follow along. We're the midlife mamas. Welcome, Amy, to the Midlife Mamas. Amy is a master health coach, author, and podcast host, also known as the habit whisperer. She helps chronic dieters achieve lasting weight loss by creating the self care habits that make their goal easy and inevitable. Welcome. Amy, we're so happy to have you. Yay. Well, thank you so much for having me. I'm excited to be here. Yeah. So Amy has a new book right now. So I wanted to know I wanted to ask you this. Like, what Did you always wanna write a book? Did you always have this in your heart? Oh, I think the desire to write a book had always been there. I actually thought I was gonna write fiction. Oh. And then yeah. And then there were some things that happened that I was like, oh, okay. I need to write this book, Thoughts Are Habits 2, Because I was hearing some things out there by other experts in the field that I just fundamentally disagreed with. And so I wanted I really felt like I my voice needed to be heard there. I love it. Yeah. I think Amelia has a book in her too somewhere. I do. Pet. And I'm with you, Amy. I thought when I was probably in my thirties, I started a fiction book called Ellen's Window, and it was about a teenager Who had all these dreams as she looked out of her bedroom window. And this tells you this is gonna age me quite a bit, but it was on a floppy disk, an actual, like, floppy disk. So that's how long ago it was. But I love writing and I journal and, yeah, I I could I could go on just about the writing bug, But I am so just in awe and honored that to know that I know someone now who has written a book, and it's amazing. So we're excited to dive into the subject. Oh, well, thank you. I, I don't know if you need to feel honored. Absolutely. It's a it's a It's just a process. I I had help. I think that would be a message. If you have the desire to do something, You don't have to do it on your own. I think we make it harder for ourselves when we could make it easy for ourselves. So I had a whole team working with me To create this book, to birth this book. And it is birth. And I've I've started reading it. It's just amazing. So let's get into it. Okay. So, Amy, tell us, like, tell us the gist of the book, and we'll start there. Okay. So the title is thoughts are habits 2, and then the subtitle Is master your triggers, free yourself from diet culture, and rediscover joyful eating. And so When I've been working with my clients, they all come to me from a weight loss back, angle. Right? So I owned a health club for 15 plus years. So many people join a gym because they wanna lose weight and get fit. That's, You know, I you hear, I wanna be healthier sometimes, but the top 2 really lose weight and get fit. And I think what ends up happening is so many people wind up with actually an unhealthy relationship with food and with movement with exercise. And so, yeah, doing those things will help you lose weight, but Ultimately, we need to figure out why we're doing it, why we're doing it. So the underlying message of it of the book is really about Whatever you're choosing to do to come from a place of self love as opposed to self loathing. I talk about embracing your moxie, This idea of like you already have what it takes and you're good enough and trusting that As opposed to relying on all these external rules like diets fundamentally, I think feed on this idea, This belief that we have that we're not enough. Like when I lose the weight, then I'll be happy. Then I'll be able to feel good about my body. Then I'll be able to feel good about myself. And that's just That's just the recipe for disaster. So the biggest mistake I see people making is saying like, I'm gonna lose weight first and then figure out how to keep it off. That's the pro like all the weight loss drugs out there right now. It's their people are all focused and I wanna lose the weight first. And I'm like, okay. So you put your life on hold to do that, and then you go back to your life and whatever habits you had that got you To the weight that you weren't happy with, it's just a it's just a It sets you up for the roller coaster, and I wanna get help people really get off of that. So Yes. And I think your key to that is getting to the bottom of things to the mindset. So let's talk about it. Okay. Okay. So someone's walking in your door. They have a history of roller coaster dieting, pain and like what is the 1st step for you? Like how what do you do to unzip it all? Okay. So I say, why do you wanna lose weight? And most that's okay. So the first I talk about this actually in the book, like, I had the same conversation. My trainer said, you know, when was the last time you were happy with your body? And I couldn't think of 1. I literally couldn't think of 1. I I think I finally came up with, like, oh, when I was maybe 4 or 5. So it's really before I even realized, you know, like, oh, this is my body. So, yeah, it's the why do you wanna lose weight? And ultimately, we need to go From the external worrying about, you know, the judgment of others or the criticism of others, Not liking the way you look in pictures, right? Those those are all very negative, they're avoidance goals. In coaching, we call those avoidance goals And really getting to the place of like, what matters to you? What are your values? What is your why? What is it that makes you wanna reach for something? So there's a there's an exercise. It's in the book, The Upside of Stress by doctor Kelly McGonigal. And she talks about this interesting exercise. Folks, if you're listening like you can try this at home, right? If you reach your arms out And this takes 2 people. So reach your arm out and have someone press down on your arms and see how long you can resist that. And then do it again, but this time instead of trying to resist that force going down, reach toward the person like you're reaching for something. And what you'll realize is you have so much more strength, so much more power when you're reaching for something And that so when we talk about what is your why, it's the what are you going for? What what is life about for you? So I have a quest question about that, Amy. A couple of things, actually. I I I should've asked them in 2 parts, but I'll go ahead and ask them both and you then you can address them. The first thing is do you have people come to you that say, well, my doctor told me I had to lose weight. So that's the first question. And the second question is, do you have people come to you? Their why might be, well, I have a child or grandchild that I can't comfortably play with, Or my best friend likes to walk 4 miles and I can only walk a mile and I want to hang out with her or Some functional goals. So the first thing is is I guess the the real question is, is the messaging different if this is a medical thing? Like, my doctor told me I had to lose weight, I guess I've got to do it versus a functional I really wanna do more kind of thing. I would say to the to the first question, At the end of the day, it has to be what you want for yourself. Good point. Yeah. It really does. Like, just like just like, you know, like, Smoking is the same thing. Sure. We probably all know people who you wish they would quit smoking but until they themselves wanna do it, I don't think it will stick. Great point. And ultimately, if you're coming from a place of self love and you said unzip Earlier, it's funny because when I talk about weight loss, people are always worried about body image stuff, right? And I can get to the heart of it by saying, If I could unzip you and look at you on the inside, how healthy are you? If health is really a value, If being able to spend time with your family, like your grandkids and stuff like that is a value to you, independence, mobile you know, those things. If they're a value to you, they have nothing to do with what you look like on the outside. It's what's going on on the inside. And so, Yes. So it needs to come from within that desire, and we can tap into that. So I think a lot of times when I ask that question why, I will ask it repeatedly. Like, why is it important to you? Not what someone else wants. Why is it important to you? I will go 5, sometimes 7 layers deep. I will keep asking. And it's usually actually for moms, When I say why is it important to you? So many times I've gotten this really long pause, and it's because They're getting emotional because it's like, wait. Important to me. Like, I've put everybody else in front of me. Like, you wanna know what's important to me. And So I learned very early on to have a box of Kleenex in your box. Oh, wow. A box of tissues. Right? So Yeah. So I think it's if you can get to that place and then yeah. So functionally, it goes back to, like, if you value family In spending time and being able to travel when you retire those kinds of things, then that's about what you want. And then it's about, like, breaking it down into small steps to get there. Yeah. I think the other mistake people make is trying to boil the ocean, p overhaul their whole life. Right? I'm, like, I'm gonna put my life on hold to do this thing and then go back to what and I'm, like, no. See, this is why I say let's Let's create habits that you actually wanna have for the rest of your life so that, like, the life you're living every day is filled with the things that you actually want to be doing and enjoy doing. That you know, it sounds easy, Amy, and we talk about this on the pie on, you know, this podcast all the time. You're speaking our language. Like, we're just like if we could nod any more fervently, our heads would bop off because we we feel that strongly like pets. Violent agreement. Yeah. It's violent agreement. We're in violent agreement. But, you know, We do Cam and I and probably you as well, we've been on a health journey for decades at this point. And my husband reminds me that Even when we talk about our children, I mean, they might have adult children and they grew up in a home where I was learning these tenants of healthy living. But it does take commitment and you do really have to unpack the why and you do have to really get real and authentic with yourself. Because just like everything else in your life, you can put on a big show for everyone else, but you still got to live with yourself. And I think it's profound in the fact that everybody's like, oh, yeah. Well, that makes sense. Of course, you have to know your why, but do I think so many people really don't. And for you to be that coach to really keep asking and asking them to dig deeper and deeper and deeper is a really Profound and probably humbling experience for a lot of people. Humbling. I think what's really interesting is So if you're going through an exercise list like this, it's the whole like get from your head into your heart. Okay. I can see that. When you find that answer where there's emotion behind it because emotion is what motivates us. Right? That's that's what moves us. So I think it's it goes back to that what are you reaching for? And when it's something that really aligns with what you value, You'll feel it. You'll literally feel it. It's like, oh, if I can remind myself every time I get I get back to that like Then then it's like, oh, of course. This was this is what makes my life worth living. This is the life I wanna create. I love that, Amy. So it's an internal thing. It's your values that it's driving your external habits that we were trying to establish. So once we've drilled down to the whys, what's next? What's next? Well, then then we start looking at okay. If we really are coming from this place of love and we wanna create this life we want, what are the habits that we wanna start with. So I think this is where people are, they wanna do everything at once, boil the ocean, overhaul their life, whatever you wanna call it. I I still remember and I feel a little guilty now when I think about it, but we used to run like 6 week challenges when I owned the health club And it's it's the sell people what they want, give them what they need. And so we have the Little Black Dress Project, totally fill Feeding into that validation thing, but it got them in the door so that I could work with them. And We talked about habits and, ultimately, I would give them, like, a list of all these different habits they could work on, and then I and they would check off, like, all the ones that they think They want they needed to be doing, and then I go, okay. What if you could only pick 3? Like, which 3 would you start with? I'm not saying you can't do all of them, But let's start somewhere and they pick 3. And I'm like, okay, if you get which one's the easiest one out of these? Right. So I was setting them up. I was I was definitely guide. I wanted them to choose the easiest one for them because It's about creating this, the sense of self efficacy that you can do it, To see yourself doing it. So in the coaching chapter 7, I talk about easy and inevitable. I say like, okay, let's take the easiest one And then let's break it down. Like what's a 2 minute version? So this is borrowing from James Clear's Atomic Habits. Make it super easy. 1% level up, however you wanna think about it. But ultimately on a scale of like 1 to 10 where 10 is a walk in the park, I want folks to be creating a version of that habit that's a 9 or 10. Just see yourself doing it like for a week or two And then you can make it a little harder and then you, so once, and this is when we talk about mindset because I know Amelia, you wanted to talk about mindset. I say That we wanna be able to shift from, a state of scarcity to one of abundance. So This this whole like coming up with the the version that you really believe you can do is that shifting to abundance, Right, state of scarcity is the all or nothing. It really is the boil the ocean thing. It's the going on a diet, Right. All of those things are are all or nothing. Abundance says my choices are on a continuum. Abundance says, like, what I can do today, Right. The best I can do today is not necessarily what it will look like tomorrow. And so that that focus on running your own race pet is part of the abundance mindset. When we talk about beliefs, like the right? The tricky thing about beliefs is we accept them as true As if they were fact. So diet culture, I think one of the beliefs somehow ends up being that, like, Our self worth is tied to the size and shape of our body. Right? Like, how much do we associate goodness with physical attractiveness? And I'll I'm like, where do where did we I mean, I kinda get it, like, from an evolutionary biological standpoint. You're talking about mating and stuff like that. But come on. Like, as human beings, we can be a little more, Sophisticated in our thinking. But I so I get it at its biological roots, but, you know, I think we we take it a little too far. Right? So I always say like love is about who you are and approval is about what you do. Uh-huh. And how do we, so self worth versus self esteem. And and it's a it's a hard nut to crack. Like I like you've I remember when I first Learned that distinction how long I had to sit with it and I still remind myself again and again like love is about who you are, that you're already enough, just the way you are versus the approval thing. Right? Like, so if weight loss and all that stuff is about what I do and I'm seeking approval and validation from Outside, that's not where happiness comes from. That's not where joy really comes from. Let's talk about joyful eating. Since you brought up joy, let's do it. What is joyful eating, Amy? So joyful so I will actually I probably need to make a distinction between intuitive eating and joyful eating. So I the reason I actually wrote this book is because I went through the intuitive eating counselor certification program. And I got all the way through it. I'm I could promote myself as an intuitive eating counselor, but There were 2 things, 2 specific things as part of their program that I I just didn't align with my values. Okay? And So but I don't wanna throw the baby out with the bathwater. There's a lot of things about intuitive eating as a self care framework that I think are really, really helpful. So joyful eating or intuitive eating, I describe as when you watch a little baby, like, breastfeeding. I talk about this in the book where I watch my sister Eating, right, or breastfeeding. And all the moms out there, you you know, whether you're bottle feeding or breastfeeding. Right? The idea being, like, babies know when they're hungry. Right? You know that stink cry, their mouth opens, right, all that stuff. So We wanna eat until we're comfortably full. So there's the other thing is like so the baby's eating and it's imprinting with mom. It's a very comforting feeling. My sister would hold on to my mom's little finger. Right? It's all this bonding stuff that's happening. And then when she was done eating, she was done. It took right? So she knew what comfortably full felt like and she would stop. So all the parents out there that have, like, the clean plate club, Like, think about what that's doing to to our ability to trust what our body is telling us and that inner wisdom. So, I mean, I think the value that you're trying to teach around not being wasteful is an important one. Absolutely. But maybe we can come up with some different ways to teach that particular lesson. So intuitive eating or joyful eating is that Trusting what your body is telling you. So the thing that got me with intuitive eating just to be clear is that in the very first principle of intuitive eating. They say, reject the diet mentality. I say let go or free yourself from diet culture Because their very next sentence, if you go to their website or the book, it says, get angry with diet and diet culture, big for all the messages and the lies and stuff like that. And and I'm like, why are we giving our power away to diet culture? That's the last thing I think we wanna be doing. We want that energy for ourselves. We wanna come from a place of empowerment, right? That abundance mindset, getting angry does not it it does give you energy, But it doesn't last. So that's the first thing. The second thing was intuitive eating Talks about like there's no such thing as a healthy weight and they're railing against, like BMI Mhmm. Which is definitely problematic. Mhmm. I brought up body composition. I brought up, like, optimal weight, like, let's optimize your weight for what you wanna do in life. And I had 3 coaching sessions with one of the founders, Evelyn Tribble. I and she actually let me record them because I really wanted, like Like, what is it you're trying to say here? And when I brought up optimal weight, she's like, well, I have a problem with it because it implies that there's a suboptimal weight. Pounds. And I'm like, yes. There is a suboptimal weight. There is an unhealthy weight. If you are 5 foot 8 and you weigh £75 because you're anorexic, Sick. That's not a healthy weight. If you're 5 foot 8 and you weigh 500 pounds, that's not a healthy weight. Our human body was not designed to Carry that low. Exactly. So, again, I go back to, like, if I could unzip you and look at you on the inside, are you healthy in those traditional ways, right, that we talk about like cardiovascular and bone health and all that other stuff. So does dieting affect that? Yes. I think so. We talked about like the weight loss drugs too. The, the muscle loss that goes with it, right, the bone density issues that come with it. The slow metabolism that comes with all of that, as opposed to if we're focusing on Building healthy habits. Like what does that look like? And if you're really tuned in and paying attention to what your body is telling you, You will notice that you feel better. You feel better when we all know this. We when we get enough sleep, do we feel better? Do we function better? Do we make better decisions? When we're really hungry and we go grocery shopping, are we making the best decisions? Right? It's funny, Amy, because I've noticed, I'm sorry. I've noticed just recently, that I don't know if it's midlife or or what what's happening, but I don't. Hunger cues for me don't manifest like they used to. It's not the gnawing stomach that I used to experience. It's more, a little bit of brain fog, but more I'm edgy, I'm anxious, and I'm like, oh, I might be hungry. So, again, I'm not I'm still in the exploratory phase of what that means and why it's different. It's just kind of like an observation. But I don't even know why I went down that path other than to say that we do have these physical cues. And I think sometimes in our culture, We've learned to ignore them. We were speaking before we hit the record button about even, Childhood obesity is an epidemic as where we our culture has shifted where we're using food as reward or punishment and, pets. Creating an unhealthy mindset around food and eating, whereas as you're saying, like, a baby and At least when I was a child in the seventies, I mean, outside time was just so enjoyable. And I didn't worry about Food. I didn't worry about weight. I didn't worry about anything other than having fun. And somehow I feel like that's been eroded over time. Maybe I'm just Being pessimistic or or a naysayer as it were, but I love this concept of of joyful eating, and I think it transcends eating into a lot of areas of our life as well, just to be joyful and grateful. So you say grateful. So I describe what joyful eating is Or intuitive eating would say the same thing. The joyful eating framework, how it's different from intuitive eating then. Right? When I talk about the framework, I have 4 pillars. I talk about love. You've heard me talk about love here for a while now. I talk about nourish. I talk about trust and I talk about gratitude. So those are the 4 pillars. We wanna practice those things. So what does it look like? So We were talking before you hit the record button about, the relationship parents have with kids now. Mhmm. Right? And And so one of the things I talk about when I say love, love is not the same thing as indulgence. So people people have, like, self care Has gotten kind of overused. Not a very clear definition. So self care, I think of coming from a place of self love and Self love is different from indulgence. Indulgence is not about discipline or control or or really paying attention to what you what you really, really want and need. So love, I talked about like acceptance, healthy boundaries, compassion, right? Those things that make up like what love looks like. No such thing as too much love. There's right? Like, there's kids kids are like, you love me more. I'm like, as moms, like, there's plenty to go around. There's No no such thing as a limit on that. So but indulgence is different and Guilt is different. Enabling. Enabling is kind of like the the manifestation of guilt. So it's it's like putting, putting my own discomfort ahead of the needs of what I understand for the other person. Pets. Oh, wow. It's profound. Yeah. I love it. Yeah, we talked about that earlier. So, you know, this whole relationship, parents like we're not supposed to be friends With the kid, at least maybe when they're in into their adulthood. Yeah. But I think kids, kids really, We need to teach them what healthy boundaries look like. We're we're I right? We are teaching people how we wanna be treated and how we treat ourselves. So it really, I think kids thrive on having boundaries. And so then it's like, how do we stand in our own place When we say no that we're coming from a place of love. And and that whole guilt thing is really interesting, like, like, to really, like, Be aware of when we're feeling guilty and why we're feeling guilty and make sure that we're not confusing, like, compassion with guilt, Which I think is another thing we see a lot. Before we hit record, we were talking about how some parents would use food as, because they felt guilty or something like that. And what what they're really doing is putting their own needs in front of their kids' needs. Would you speak to that for a second. Yeah. I think they are. I mean, I don't want people to feel guilty for doing that either. I I this these are some automatic things that happen To protect ourselves. Like, thoughts are habits too. Procrastination is a form of self protection. It keeps us in our comfort zone. Yes. Our brain is really wired to do 2, like, 2 big priorities. Right? Safety and security is 1. Energy conservation is the other. This is why we have habits is the energy conservation part is obvious, but habits really are, you know, so funny. People will say is a bad teacher, and that's just it's a fundamentally flawed statement. This is how we learn. Like, this worked, so we're gonna keep doing it. This is why we do what we do. So if it's about safety and security, that means we also have a negativity bias. We're gonna pay attention to the negative much more often than the positive. So that's why like criticism, You know, you can get, like, 10 compliments and 1 critique, and you'll focus on the negative all the time. When this is why, like, newspapers, Right. Lead with what bleeds. So understanding that, where am I going with this? I lost my train of thought. Where am I going with this? What was the question before? It was just talking about parents, and I think it's just bringing awareness that a parent may use food or some, you know, something like that and not understanding, like, their why. Like, why are they why are they overindulging or whatever with their kids? Yeah. So just recognize that it's your brain. That that that's it's very natural. And the the goal is really just can we become more aware And then make a different choice. So then instead of we're instead of reacting, we're actually choosing our response. I love that getting out of autopilot and and understanding that you have a decision every every time you have a choice. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, I I am not here to say parents need to feel guilty about what they've done. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. That's that's not it at all. Yeah. It's how do we how How do we create the life for ourselves and for our loved ones? Right, that's the one that we want. And I think that that means that We wanna spend our energy. We have to pick our battles. So Mhmm. To the extent that I can use habits to take care of the things that are really important As much on autopilot as I can, that's great because that leaves me the energy to focus on the things that really do require those conscious intentional choices. Absolutely. I just love everything you've said, Amy. I just think it's so profound And somewhat intuitive, but we really need to think about it because, not diet culture, but just food culture, at least in our country. It feels flawed to me a lot of the times. Again, we're, you know, going into the holiday season and it's just, Oh, you know, I've had a great Thanksgiving, and this is the only time of year I I get to eat this food or Christmas. And I've already been invited to a cookie exchange, which is not my not typically my gig. But, I mean, I go for the fellowship. I go because I really love these women, and I love Seeing them this time of year, and so it makes a big difference in how I consume. I don't feel guilty about it, But I also don't seek it out at at other times without the fellowship. So, you know, this this for me is something that I need to sit with Because I do growing up in diet culture, I do have a tendency for that guilt, not because I have children at home anymore, but for myself. So this guilt, this, you know, compassion is for ourselves as well as how we're treating other people. Mhmm. And I just think it's really important to know your why. That's one of my favorite things about what You said is knowing your why. Yeah. I think knowing your why. So I've had people felt well, so is it okay for me to wanna lose weight? Like intuitive eating, People have real it's really interesting with intuitive eating. They they they drove home that message like to that It's not about the weight. And I'm like, but if you do wanna be healthy, there's a difference between judgment and discernment. Sure. And so it's not about Judging like you're a good person or a bad person or something that's right or wrong, it literally is about discerning like, hey, I would feel better. Like, I literally would feel better. I would move better. I would sleep better. All those things if I lost some weight. Now, How do I wanna go about doing that? Yes. Right? And and again, it's like coming from a place of enough where I'm worth taking care of. You know, this is I want everyone listening. Like, you are worth taking care of. You deserve to feel better, And that's why you're doing it. It's it's it truly is about I want you to fall in love with the process of taking care just like you would with your children. You've made choices because you want the best for them. Why would you not want the best for yourself? So In my twenties. So just for the record here, I'm 57 years old. So I'm, like, right in the mix here. And I remember in my twenties, I had some women tell me you need to learn how to be your own best friend. And so even the way we talk to ourselves, Right. When if you catch yourself saying something that sounds sounds like, oh, you know, this is just how I This is I need to be hard on myself. This is like I can do hard things or whatever. Mhmm. Just like, is there a better way to frame it That's more empowering. So I always say, like, when you catch yourself, when you become aware of that thought, is it ask yourself, is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary? Is it helpful? And Even if it is true, can you find a way to say it where you're being kind? Right? Or you're being helpful? Like, You wouldn't would you ever just say to someone who I I mean, we say it all the time to ourselves. Right? I need to lose weight. That's not That's not an empowering thing to say. So before we hit record, I had talked about, a friend of mine who is reading this book. Good friend of mine. Can I can I go ahead and do Yep? So she she wrote to me, and I thought it was such a Such a great illustration of this empowering way of thinking. I asked her how's the book reading going? She wrote, It's really good. I have not had a lot of free time just to sit and read peacefully. I need a quiet place to read and to really think about everything. That's the hard part. I'm only on chapter 3. Let me rephrase that. I am taking in everything so far, and I'm Excited to be on chapter 3, abundance thoughts. I will make time tomorrow to read. Hope you have a happy Thanksgiving. So, like, how how like, if you really, like, think about what message you're sending to yourself, What's the difference in the energy between the 2 ways that she talked about it? 1 is kind of almost a woe is me. Like, I I need this and, like, I need to strength train more, like, to to Cam's point. Strength training is great. I love the feel of lifting weights. Like, there's like, to see yourself, like, the miracle of the human body to be able to do what it does and The gratitude I have that I'm able to do these things. When I I broke my shoulder, like, 11 years ago, I went from being able to do, like, You know, renegade rows, and I'll, like, push 20 push ups. No problem. Like, regular push ups to, like, like, As part of rehab doing a wall push up was part. So I'm very grateful for what my what my body is able to do. So Yeah. I think the abundance mindset is a lot of people use abundance in this very sort of woo woo way. I'm I'm actually just talking about it From that place of, like, you are enough. Right? Yeah. We have the time. We have the resources. We have access to the resources we need to be able to do the things that we wanna do. I think that message that you are enough is very, very powerful, and I love the way that you reframed it. Amelia and I have reframe stuff often, so I love that. Cool. Well, Amy, I I feel like you've given us lots of cool nuggets. Will you tell us where we can find you, where our listeners can find you? Well, okay. On Instagram, I am at habit whisperer. Yay. I'm actually gonna start a YouTube channel. Yay. The same thing, habit whisperer. If you want, as I think right now, thoughts are habits 2.com is where you would find the book. It is by the time this airs, it's going to be available to order on Amazon. It's available as an ebook as well as paperback. Pets working. Excuse me. We're working on the audiobook and the hardcover soon. So Love it. Love it. Pep. We will link all of those in the show notes. So, yeah, you can find Amy on Instagram, YouTube. Also, you have a podcast. Tell us about that. So I do have a podcast. It's called happy and healthy with Amy Lang. And I you can go to the, Apple Podcasts and Spotify, I think are the 2 places you can find that. And, actually, with the book, you can You can download an excerpt. I I think you have the the link in the show notes for that. Yep. And I actually Also created like a joyful eating milestone map. So for folks who like, if you get the book and you're trying to figure out, like, where you are and what the next thing is it's the the joyful eating milestone map. You can get that at thoughts our habits 2.com/roadmap, and And that is free. Yeah. Yeah. We'll have that linked as well. Thank you, Amy. You're welcome. Any closing thoughts that you would like to leave us with? I I'm I'm so grateful that you invited me to come on to this podcast and the opportunity to talk about the book. It was Definitely like a labor of love. I'm so glad that I I have it out there. And, like, a closing thought would be, like, so I had all this help and birthing the buck. But just like all the moms out there, you know that it's just the beginning. Right? It's like, now you have a kid. No. It's like, go out and do something in the world kinda thing. So I'm I'm so grateful that you're helping me with this book launch and spreading the word so that, you know, we can change more lives. I too am on chapter 3, and it's worth every single word. So I highly recommend it. Thank you. Thank you. Well, thank you so much, Amy. This has been so empowering and fun and, you know, we can't wait to see where the next chapter leads you after this There be there's another one. Maybe. Thanks for listening today. You can find us on Instagram at midlife.mamas. For all of our other contact info, check out the show description below, and we will talk to you next