Gray Area Drinking: The secret indulgence that destroys your mental health

Greetings Midlifers! Welcome to this sobering (pun intended) episode of the midlife mommas. Colleen's story may resonate with you...in parts or in it's entirely. We are SO excited to have her on the show!
 
Colleen's story is not an unusual one. She talks about drinking in the context that it's most familiar, in casual and social settings. Many of us have used alcohol to 'take the edge off'. But when is it too much? How is alcohol affecting your health? Your decision making? Your sleep? Your mental health?

I know you're going to love Colleen as much as we do!

00:02:43 Withdrawal effects, ignorance, and alcohol addiction.
00:04:06 Alcohol's impact on adulthood and menopause.
00:06:53 Hiding alcohol addiction with clever deception.
00:11:05 AA philosophy: brain programmed, belief control, not science; pursue happiness, not sobriety.
00:14:25 Dopamine depletion leads to lightweight alcohol effects.
00:19:32 Delaying start time, controlling wine consumption.
00:22:28 Enjoy wine mindfully, not unconsciously drinking.
00:25:59 Tools for repairing dopamine levels after substance abuse.
00:29:21 Embrace authenticity, be powerful, live authentically.
00:30:38 Admitting not okay, being seen, powerful.
00:34:13 Fixed mindset: "I'm an alcoholic and can't control myself."
Growth mindset: Learn to change thoughts & neuroplasticity.

Colleen Kachmann, MSc, CPRC, Sober-ish Recovery Coach
Free Masterclass: Change Your Thinking About Drinking
Podcast: https://recoverwithcolleen.com/podcast
Instagram and Facebook: @RecoverwithColleen 3

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Transcript

0:01

Cheers. Cheers. Let's let's go have a drink, you guys, or maybe not. Hi. I'm Cam, holistic health coach, mom to 2 humans and 4 pets. Hi. I'm Amelia, laboratory scientist by day and food scientist is by night. Welcome to our show. Join us as we share our holistic approach to life after 50. You can expect Real life stories with a dash of humor and a ton of truth. If it happens in midlife, we're going to talk about it. So hit Hit that subscribe button and follow along. We're the Midlife Mommas. Welcome to the Midlife Mommas. We are so excited because we have Colleen Cashman as our guest today, and She's awesome. So welcome to the show. Thank you. I'm so excited to be here and have this conversation. And for sure, we can have a drink. It doesn't have to have alcohol in it. Yay. Nobody owns Cheers. That's right. That's right. Good point, Colleen. So Colleen is a recovery coach Helping high achieving women change their complicated relationship with alcohol. So drinking less or not at all becomes not only possible, but easy and rewarding. I'm very curious about that, Colleen. She uses science based cutting edge holistic strategies to teach you how to regulate your nervous system, which is a big deal, And balance your brain chemistry and operate from a growth mindset. Yay. I'm so happy you're here. Thank you. I'm happy to be here. So you have a very unique point of view, a unique message and point of view of alcohol. Could you share a little bit of your story with us? Sure. So I was super fun. I was a lifelong drinker and I really identified as a drinker And that lasted for probably 25, 30 years. I never considered my drinking to be a problem. I mean, it's not to say I never had a hangover, but I had no trouble giving it up when I was pregnant. I loved being with my babies and breastfeeding, like, I wasn't Thinking about alcohol, you know what I mean? But what I didn't know, and most of us don't is that alcohol is an addictive substance. And so over time, the more you use it, the more subconsciously the biochemistry Chemistry of the way the drug interacts with your brain, it it makes you want to keep drinking it. And so what happens Is that you start drinking because you're in withdrawals from the last drink, not because You want to drink, but we don't associate alcohol as a drug. We don't associate withdrawal effects. I always thought that when I woke up in the morning, It was ground 0, like all new day, all new moves. And I had no idea that it takes 4 5 days To have all of the metabolites out of your system, and that it jacks up your cortisol and it increases, A chemical in your brain called dynorphin, which is apathy. And so what I didn't realize is over time, the reason I was drawn to drinking every night Was not because my life was so awful and because I was secretly an alcoholic, but because I had drank last night. And so every single day became Crawling out of a hole, and I just was doing everything I needed to do to prove I didn't have a drinking problem And to bargain with myself and like I used to say, earn my drink tickets for the evening. And I had no idea that I was painting myself into a corner. I came by what I now will be very honest with an alcohol addiction. I came by it very honestly, Well intentioned and ignorantly. I was following my grandmother's advice that, you know, you are your own best guess, And you should always eat on the good china. And I just thought you should always eat on the good china with top shelf vodka in your glass, and I just didn't know. That is fascinating. And it's very it resonates with me on so many levels. You know, when you in in our culture, alcohol seems to be a privilege and, you know, at age 21, you know, it's can be depending on your your social group of party scene, and then as you said, Colleen, we go through the childhood fay or the child raising children phase, I should say, and it's never really you know, you don't think about it. You're too busy chasing toddlers, but I, drank a lot in my forties and as my children were getting older and I felt like I needed to quote raise the floor, I mean stresses, Small children or small people, small problems, big people, big problems, so, you know, raising teenagers and working full time, it's very stressful. And so it wasn't until I was approaching menopause and and having some metabolic effects like Hot flashes that I realized, oh, wow, this may not be servicing me well. And so I'm very curious what brought you to to the point of realization? Well, you know, I didn't I was very health conscious. I was actually a health coach. I was the best health Coaching the world, I was like, you should have clear liquor in your drink, like vodka, and just don't add sugar to it, You know, because sugar is what's really giving you the hangover. I mean, I'm embarrassed now to think back to, you know, the denial I was in. But in our culture, We are taught that there are 2 types of drinkers. There are the normal drinkers and there are the alcoholics. And for those of us that drink For years, normally, and we can take it or leave it. We don't realize, and we we start ignoring the evidence that, Oh, this is actually addictive. You know, the more I drink, the worse I feel, and yet the more I wanna drink, like, that's really weird. And because we're so busy being the moms, yeah, and like you said, big people, big problems, we end up using alcohol as a Crappy consolation prize. And I know for myself, by the time I got the kids in bed, I needed me time. And because in our culture, like you said, alcohol is a rite of passage. It's a reward. It's a privilege. It's a treat. It became, you know, my go to in the evenings, and then I because it's also something that anesthetizes pain, I would be so tired and stressed, and then suddenly, I'd be pleasant, and I'm not tired anymore. And then my me time would be me shooting myself in the foot, Staying up too late drinking and then having to get up and crawl out of the hole again the next day. I know one of the strategies you used during this time period was To coach early in the morning. Can you tell us a little bit about that story? Which one? The yoga. I think it was yoga. Oh, well, so as I became More and more honest, honest, real word here addicted to alcohol. I did everything I could to Outsmart my subconscious. So that would be signing up for committee meetings or stuff in the evenings. That would be obligating myself to teach hot Power yoga at 8 AM every morning because nobody with a drinking problem would be doing that. And I ran marathons, and I ran seven Kids all over the place, so I constructed a life that anybody from the outside and even the people on the inside Would not have known. I hid it from myself. I was a freaking genius when it came to denial. So I always had a bottle of wine on the counter, And then I would refill in my closet with a duplicate bottle of wine, my decoy bottle, because I knew I was drinking more than I should, And I didn't wanna admit that to my husband, and I just thought this is my business. You stay out of my business, and I kept it in my closet. So I would construct I would construct things in my life that would obligate me because here's the thing. I thought I couldn't control myself, But it turns out I could control myself if I had to teach yoga, or my mother-in-law was around, or I had to drive my kids. I was perfectly capable of controlling myself. What happens with addiction is it breaks our relationship to ourselves. So I was the one I was shortchanging, If that makes sense. 100%. That makes sense. So what was the tipping point? How did you become a recovery coach? Well, so I was a coach. My specialty was vegan and plant based food, and I did gut health and sourdough and all of these things. And Then COVID happened. Mhmm. And all of my reasons and my what I would say, like, when you go bowling and you have little kids, they put the bumpers up on bowling alley, all the bumpers went away. And so happy hours hour started getting earlier and earlier, coupled with, I must say, The the alcohol companies did an amazing job of normalizing at home drinking where before that was taboo. Now we're all on Zoom laughing about who's drunk, and it was funny, but I I was actually drunk On Zoom, and it wasn't as funny. So what happened is 6 weeks into lockdown, I was so stressed With the kids, with the e learning, I was hungover and I was out running 1 morning and I just, it was like an out of body Experience. My hand took my phone and dialed the AA hotline, and I got to talk to a person And I heard myself saying, like, I'm safe and, you know, I didn't want a fire department coming out, but I was like, I need help. Like, this is not working for me. I need help, and I can't Stop drinking. You have a very unique perspective on AA. Can you tell tell tell us a little bit about that? Okay. So AA was my first responders, And I will always be grateful to them, but what the AA is kind of the dark side or the backside of the alcohol industry teaching these false beliefs that there is a difference between an alcoholic and a normal person. Nope. Anybody can drink themselves into rehab just like you can take opioids and get addicted or smoke cigarettes or drink pop or drink coffee or be on your phone. Addiction goes with use. Okay? And so they preach that there's a difference, and then they tell you that you're powerless over alcohol. You have to admit That you don't have a choice whether or not you can control your drinking, and they plant the fear in you that if you ever have a drink again, That you will end up living in a van down by the river drinking mouthwash out of a paper bag. And so what happens is it's a really good short term solution, because there's people there that get it, there's people there that support you, it you you can go into kind of this Space where you can begin to heal. The problem is, if you don't stay in that environment, now at the most vulnerable time in your life, your Brain has been fully programmed to believe you can't control yourself and that you are powerless and that there's something wrong with you. And so if you try to take that belief back into a normal life and say, have a toast of wine at a wedding, then your brain will tell you, oh, Well, we just relapsed and right on cue, you end up, you know, 10 drinks in, face planted down, you know, doing stuff you shouldn't. So the AA philosophy is It's kinda like a religion in that it can work for you, but the beliefs are not science based. And so, like, when I work with women, It's all about realizing that you never lost control of your drinking. You lost control of your thinking. And only by changing your mindset and your relationship with yourself and regaining your integrity and your confidence. And What I teach is you pursue happiness, not sobriety. Sobriety is a side effect of a happy person who doesn't wanna shoot themselves in the foot and likes to get a good night sleep. It's not about alcohol. I love that, Colleen, but I do have a question. Just I'm just, like, wrapped with everything you're saying because it's It rings so true. But because as we we've already said, it's kind of a cultural phenomenon, how do you handle or how do you help your Clients handle social situations where you do you may wanna have a drink or maybe you don't and Everyone else is. Like, there there is a construct there that once you say, okay. I'm not doing this. And maybe I'm just speaking from my own Experience sometimes I'm like, oh, I'm the only one that's not having one, and it's gotten to where most of my friends know I mean, I drink club soda, with a twist of lime or something, and I love carbonation. But part of it is just it, you know, it's just I don't wanna feel bad at all. Like, it might just be a minor blip in my sleep pattern Mhmm. But I have a very demanding job and I to like to work out, and so I don't want any of that. Like, I wanna get rid of everything. I mean, I can't get rid of everything that charges that. You know, I'm gonna eat the pizza occasionally or I'm gonna, you know, have the chocolate M and M's occasionally and same with the I love champagne, at a wedding, I would partake. But I guess my question revolves, how would you advise women to reframe those social situations? Well, the first thing that you have to stop telling yourself is I can't have this glass of wine. It has to be a choice and that shifts And the everything like, oh, like feeling you're feeling like, oh, I do feel a little left out here. Would I like a glass of wine? Like, it's a balance. You could have it, And then you don't feel as good in the morning. So making sure that you always approach it from a place of choice, and then Instead of thinking of it as saying no to alcohol, what are you saying yes to? Learning how to be to enjoy yourself Sober or just with or without a drink in your hand. Right. You are always in control and that you always feel like you have a choice and sure. You can trade one for another and it's not a problem. I have drinks and I wake up the next morning and think, Well, I'm glad I, you know, I'm glad I didn't plan to run a marathon today because now I'm such a lightweight even 1 glass of wine, I can feel it the next morning. So it really this is about mindset. It's again being aware this is a thinking problem, not a drinking problem, And restoring that sense of of of choice and realizing also you can reprogram your dopamine. Right? So when you're a regular drinker, your brain does respond differently to alcohol because regular drinking depletes your dopamine. So when you have the drink, it's a much bigger gap that the alcohol, fuels. Now for me, if I have a drink, I feel pleasant, But I don't feel like what I used to do feel, which is an amazing relief from the withdrawals that I had because I was a regular drinker. So understanding that You can reprogram your brain to enjoy sobriety with self narrative and mindset and awareness and mindfulness of In that moment, like, I'm saying no to alcohol because I'm saying yes to myself, and then just pausing for a minute and just be like, it feels so good to be in my body right now And not feel numb and dumb, not worry about my sleep. So it's it there's little tricks, and there's a 1,000 of them. I mean, it's it's work to reprogram yourself. And what would you say would be like a a baby step or a first step when it comes to this, when you think about alcohol? Do you mean it's for somebody who might be let's let's say you're in that gray area and you're not really sure if this applies to you or not. How what would, like, a a first step be? Well, first of all, if you ever have to ask the question, the question the answer is the question. Alright? So if you are asking King that question. It's time to get radically honest and realize that ask yourself, what am I saying no to when I say yes to a drink? What am I saying no to what is this really costing me? And then, 2 things. One of my favorite questions is how can I make this easy? So I want you to think about somebody who's in active, active addiction. You know, they are going through a 5th of vodka every day And they want to be free. Okay. So you've already decided I want to be free. Now the question is, how do I make this easy? For some people, like in extreme addiction, you might need to go to a detox facility. You might need to take a week off work. You might need to ask for help or join a program, or something. How do I make this easy? It acknowledges what I want to do and stop saying, I don't you know, I have to figure everything out. Like, that's the biggest problem is I'll I gotta figure stuff out before I take action. When the truth is the smallest little bit of action, just ask yourself, how do I make this easy? And what do I need to reach this goal? So it might be take 1 night off. And if you find that difficult, then you might or you're not able to do it, Then you say, okay. What do I need to make that happen? Because sure as hell, I can do this. It's just exceeding my bandwidth right now, Which is telling me that, you know, there's more going on here. I can see so many parallels between fitness and what you just said about alcohol. It's like the baby steps and just Getting out of your mind and getting into action and whatever that is. Yeah. I used to hear in CrossFit, you have to get fit before you can go to class. I'm like, no. Just come to class. So it reminds me of that very much. Yeah. So just taking taking some time off or reducing, You know, mindful drinking, that's a thing. I don't teach a lot of that, but learning how to enjoy yourself sober. So let's say you are a drinker, Delay your start time. And, you know, then just try to practice staying in your body. And, know, I can remember getting in bed and and telling myself over and over, god, I love the feeling of being sober. I love it. You can rewire your dopamine with your narrative, But if you're in active addiction, which just means you're drinking more than you want to and it feels hard to drink less, then, at least 10 days. It takes 10 days to get the alcohol metabolites out, so the bottom line is if you have an addiction, it's a it's maximum 10 days To break it. And then after that, you're not dealing with an alcohol addiction. You're not dealing with a drinking problem. You're dealing with a thinking problem. And just start working, you know, looking for resources. Versus, like, my podcast, Recover with Colleen, is all about reach relanguaging your brain and rewiring your subconscious and and your nervous system. So just looking for and here's the thing. How do you change your mind by exposing yourself to the ideas you want? Find somebody that has what you have and and and follow their footsteps in the snow. So, you know, reading books, listening to podcasts, the more you immerse your self in the mindset and the behavior that you want, the more your brain's gonna change on its own. You don't even have to try that hard. I mean, I'm not saying it's Super easy. But I love what you said about delaying your start time. So another thing, and Kim and I have talked Got this before, the joy of because she and I both like to cook, and one of the joys is enjoying a drink while I cook. So the way I kind of conquered that because it's easy for we you know, when you pour, even at first, you're like, oh, it's just a 3 ounce pour, a 4 ounce pour, and then you keep topping that, and then half a bottle of wine is gone. So I kind of took away that association first. That was, you know, easy to be like, I'll wait until dinner and have a prescribed amount, like, a 4 ounce or a 5 ounce Or during dinner, and that's all when I sit down. And from there, I discovered, you know, I wanted to think, oh, I love the way the wine enhances the food or whatever, and that was crap for me. Like, that may be true for other people, but for me, it was the Experience and it was the cooking with the wine. And once I sat down with the dinner, I was fine with water or sparkling water or whatever. So that was a big moment for me to know why when during the day, which for me, I I go to bed early, so cooking is 4, 5 o'clock, and then but by 6 o'clock, I don't want it anymore. So once I broke that habit of, you know, cooking and and social or socializing whether it was, you know, cocktails before dinner with your friends, then it became a lot easier. And, Colleen, I I I don't know that I've ever expressed this on the podcast before, but I went for a couple of years where I had a really good friend and one was our bond. I mean, we I would go to her house, and there are I'm embarrassed to admit this. There were nights where we polish off 2 bottles between the 2 of And I'm like, I cannot believe I did that. And it wasn't a long period of time, and that wasn't even the point at which I thought I've got to stop This behavior because I think I mentioned this to you before, we started recording. I did all the other things right, like I don't drink sodas, I don't eat processed foods in an appreciable amount. Like, I avoided sugar. I did all the exercise. So doing all the other things right made it feel like I deserve this. This is a I'm not eating the chocolate sundae, so I can have a couple of glasses of wine. And and for me, I've just learned that, you know, it it's just not it doesn't work for me anymore. Well, one thing that I think really helps is, is to separate the words use the correct words, Have a drink and drinking. We treat drinking like it's a sport. And Right. Because it's a habit that that propels itself, Then having that glass of wine, you just like if you had a cake, you enjoy the first the bite or the 2nd bite or the 3rd bite. By the time you're shoving in the 2nd piece, it's not about the cake anymore. Of course. And so I really resonate with that. You know, I was Sober for 3 years, a 100%. And then I reintroduced, if I'm gonna have a glass of wine, I'm a have it by myself with nobody talking to me, And I can focus, like, if I'm cooking, I can focus on enjoying the the flavor and the smells and the ritual of it. But then, like, to your point, I sit down at dinner, I don't want anymore, I'm good, I'm done, plus I know I wanna sleep and alcohol jacks your sleep. So I'm very careful with that, but you can learn how to enjoy wine in a ritual way just like, I mean, I don't wanna get too crazy here, but any drug set and setting. Right? So when I teach women how to reintroduce alcohol, because that's part of my program too, Is is the set in the setting, making the drinking experience a ritual where you are mindful Of the feel and the taste and the smell and the experience, and not just letting it become the hand to mouth hand to mouth We're suddenly like, you say, you're embarrassed over 2 bottles of wine. One bottle for me was a warm up lap before I went to my friend's So I you're fine. You're fine, you know, but it was just then it becomes unconscious drinking. I think you can drink mindfully, and you'll find you are good after really for me, more than 1 glass, I I don't I can't because I start to get the numb and the dumb. And as long as I'm aware of that, I know my set point. My body tells me, like, hey, Anne, we're good. You very much. And, you know, I don't know if this is true, Colleen. You can probably speak to the science. Are some people more acceptable to addiction than others, or is there quote set point different? Is this is this a varying thing amongst different individuals? Well, they're the science shows that you can have lower dopamine levels. There are biochemical markers That might make you more vulnerable to addiction in the same way you might be more vulnerable to diabetes. However, The only like for me, I drink every single day for 15 years. My chances of relapsing in the future are no more than than anybody else's. In fact, they're less because having broken an addiction grows your brain In terms of self regulation, so my brain is now stronger. I have no fear that I'm gonna go back because I've been there. I tried that. No. Thank you. But in terms of what the predictor of addiction is the belief That you can't control yourself. So that's gonna be if you were raised with alcoholic parents, it's not the genes. It's the language And the beliefs around alcohol and the habits and just those internalized beliefs that you're not gonna be able to control yourself, you start looking for evidence. You wake up in the morning. You're like, oh, I drink too much. Oh, that must mean oh, and then that's just a snowball rolling down the hill. So The science shows that it's the belief system that predicts addiction and not genetics Or even family environment. It's what you choose to believe, which is why changing your mind is the solution no matter what. I wanna go back to the dopamine. I know you said it took 10 days for the metabolites to leave your body, but how long does it take for you to rewire your brain Yeah. The dopamine part? More than 10 days. More than more than 10 days. Okay. For those of us who, you know, I was I was in a pretty big hole. So this there's science that shows if you do nothing, It's 14 months on average where the brain of the dopamine levels of a former drinker or substance abuse, use on average For alcohol, it's 14 months. However, there are tools that drastically accelerate, like, you know, Changing the narrative using the growth mindset, cold plunges, and morning sunlight viewing and Exposing yourself to the mindset you want and then reinforcing that mindset in yourself when you notice it. Like, you you get one point for thinking a thought. You get 2 points for noticing that you thought the thought, and then you know what I mean? So you can Uh-huh. Drastically re you can drastically repair your dopamine. Most of my women I see, you know, within 3 months, they're walk, talking, and feeling and reintroduce alcohol, and it's fine. Whereas I struggled for 18 months because I didn't know, you know, I just sat there feeling my feelings and being miserable. I didn't know there was more I could do. That's so interesting. I love all of that, and, you know, we see it. We when we talk about, food, that's one of my favorite subjects, and It's very similar, your thoughts about, controlling food intake and the the, the effects of junk food and people binge eating and so forth. So I Totally resonate with that. What are some of the mistakes that you think women make when they try to stop drinking? They hide. They hide. Oh. That's the number 1. Wow. They don't want to admit to anybody. It's that perfectionistic mindset. You know, how much alcohol is too much when you think it's too much and somebody says, you know, you start downplaying how much you've had Or you're pretending that you're not drinking as much. So the biggest mistake is to hide it and you're hiding it because you believe That something is wrong with you and that you can't control it or that you don't wanna control it. You know, the other belief that works against you is that uncontrolled drinking makes you happy. So you resent when there's, 2 drink tickets instead of an open bar, Or you resent that your husband's counting your drinks because you have a belief that you that You should be able to drink as much as you want. You love it when you don't have to get up in the morning because that means you can just let it rip. But you're talking about a drug that If you think about it, we go to the doctor when we don't feel well for mental health, right, and anxiety, depression. What do they do? They put us on an antidepressant. Alcohol is a depressant. So if you're drinking it every single day, you're self medicating with high doses of a depressant, And that's why your anxiety is up there. But, you know, I would encourage somebody the biggest mistake you can make is to hide it Because that also makes the anxiety go up, and that also perpetuates the disconnect from your own integrity And your own goals, and now you're just performing. Now you're just a a dancing monkey checking all the boxes, doing all the things. You think you're getting away with it, but that means you've forgotten that you're a person and you're not getting away with anything. That's so powerful. Oh my goodness. It it is powerful and I you know, this is Just like so much in the vein of what Kim and I talk about every single week about empowerment empowerment and being authentic because So many women in our age group, and I kinda speak from the perspective of being southern, and we southern women, we want everybody to be happy and We don't like conflict and so we check all the boxes and we we do hide a lot. We you know, there's there's a country song about hide all your crazy. We do that. We definitely do that. So, you know, but in midlife, you know, this is what Cam and I are trying to to tell people and help people be who you are, And, you know, some people aren't gonna like that and that's okay, but embracing and, you know, for some some women, I wonder if they even know. Do I do I really like beer? Do I like Get because someone else does or whatever the thing is, that may or may not be be good for you. So just Living in and leaning into your own person and feeling the feelings and then making decisions about you want to do next, I think, is so powerful just to to to live into that authenticity. Yeah. I agree. And reframing our thoughts. That's another thing. We talk about that all the time. Yep. Yeah. Totally. Absolutely. Yeah. You know, My day 1, I would have really thought I could I I I woke up every single day and said I'm quitting, right, for at least 5 years. I knew there was a problem and I figured I'd had to quit. The day I finally spoke to somebody that I didn't even know on the phone, That just that I felt seen. That was so powerful. I can't believe that that was for me was really all it took Because I was drinking half of the the vodka a day plus wine on the counter, like, every single day. And so Being seen and being giving yourself permission to take up space to not be okay. You know, the first step to being okay Is to admit you're not okay. That that that increases your okayness by 50%. Just giving yourself permission to say I'm not okay. And, you know, we just paint ourselves into a corner with these coping mechanisms, whether it's alcohol, crappy food, and you're gonna have to stop And give yourself space to recover. And the the more space you give yourself, the faster it goes. You know, trying to continue to do all the things, And I would say, you know, that those thought processes, that southern mentality of hiding your crazy And performing those are the things that drive people into addiction. Those are the beliefs Because you are not Yeah. You're thinking somebody else's opinion is more important than you are. You're more worried about what other people think than what you think. You're more worried about even what you think versus what you're feeling. So you're just do like, I teach people how to live from the inside out. Like, your feelings are the only facts you need to be worried about. It's it's the exact opposite. It's your thoughts that are that are crazy. Your thoughts about other people's thoughts are still your thoughts. So, you know, it's it's just a lot of unpacking to do, and for me, The best thing I ever did was drink myself into a corner because pulling out of that absolutely has Has given me perspective and wisdom and resilience. I mean, thank god, you know, that that's my story. It's because I have the best relationship with myself, You know, now. And I wouldn't I I had to go there to get here. So there's nothing to be afraid of. You know? And that's true with all of our stories. We've been somewhere, and that Somewhere has brought us to where we are today, and I just love that. And, Colleen, I know you've put in your you've taken all of this knowledge and your experiences and put it into a masterclass called change your thinking about drinking. Can you tell us a little bit more about that? It's a 1 hour Free masterclass where I lay out the steps to my accelerated recovery process Because, really, that's what we all want. Right? Oh, yeah. You know, we wanna pull off to the side of the road, get the tire fixed, and get back on as quickly as possible. And going to AA and thinking this is about alcohol and calling yourself an alcoholic, like, that that's a lifetime on in the wrong direction as far as I'm Mhmm. So in my master class, I lay out the big picture. Like, these are the things you need to know. Nervous system regulation number 1. Know, you have to realize that you can't change your mindset on a dysregulated nervous system. Biologically, that's just not possible. And so you have to take care of your body first, you know, and then work on your thoughts. So I do nervous system regulation in there. I talk about growth mindset. You know, the epitome of a fixed mindset is I'm an alcoholic and I can't control myself, and I always have been and I always will be. That's a fixed mindset by definition. Mhmm. So I teach you how to identify the growth might or how to find the growth mindset that you want that's gonna move you forward. I go over, thought you know, how framework for changing your thoughts, and I also talk about, Self directed neuroplasticity, which is the dopamine rewiring, like taking control of that. So I lay all that out in 1 hour so that you walk away With hope and a to do list of, okay, this is what I need to do so that you're not, you know, just Hiding and thinking that you have a problem and have to surrender your power and say tell everybody you're an alcoholic because there's there's there's no such thing. So it's really about taking back your power, it sounds like. Taking back your power. And I see you how to do that on a chem a biochemical nervous system level. This is about Healing your body. Mhmm. Love it. We will link the the we will have the link to the masterclass in the show notes for this for sure. Absolutely. And Colleen, you're so inspiring and fun and you know, your joy joie de vivre is it were just It's so obvious to our listeners. Where can our listeners find you? Very, very simple. I am recover with Colleen. That's my podcast. That's my website. That's me on Instagram or Facebook, whatever. So we're at recover with colleenorrecoverwithcolene. Com, and you can find me in on all the podcast platforms. It's very simple. It has been a joy to have you on the Midlife Mama Podcast, I'm very grateful for you and our friendship, and I'm so glad you got a chance to meet Amelia. I'm so glad too. And it was it's been so good to meet you, Cam and Amelia, and just hang out and exchange texts. You make me laugh. It's good stuff, and we know that you're gonna help our listeners. I mean, I know that there are some women that regularly listen to us who are gonna need some help. So thank you so much. Yeah. Thank You can find us on Instagram at midlife.mommas. 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