Atomic Habits in Midlife: With Better Habits, Anything is Possible!

00:00:32 Subscribe to the Midlife Mommas, talking atomic habits.
00:03:39 Dream big but have a system.
00:08:16 Tiny steps change habits and self-perception.
00:11:17 Friendship dynamics change with personal growth.
00:14:16 Make habits attractive by tying them to something else, like walking with a friend.
00:17:50 Challenges and environments affect exercise satisfaction.
00:21:28 Morning routine includes coffee, supplements, neti pot.
00:26:19 Limit social media, switch to green tea.
00:29:28 Bought yarn to learn knitting, but failed.
00:32:13 Diet and exercise journey, small steps.
00:33:31 Build a successful system for joy and satisfaction.

BOOM! I wish I could do sound effects, but I can't. We're here today to talk about atomic habits. The basis for this talk is James Clear's bestselling book by the same name. Also, James Clear is a guest on Brene Brown's podcast on Spotify - that's also a great listen.

Anyhoo...what are atomic habits, and why do we need them?
Have you ever noticed that when you make lofty goals (we used to call them BHAGs in the 1990's), that you never quite get there? That's because biting off a huge chunk of behavior change at one time almost always leads to failure. What you need is a system. Tiny increments of change add up to BIG change over time.

In this episode, Cam and Amelia distill the principles of creating or recreating your systems to set you up for success. Consistency over intensity is the key. We give you the four things that build a habit, and we give you the tools to unwind a habit as well.

This episode is chock-full of meaningful and practical information. As always, hit that subscribe button and leave us a review. Tell your friends about is and share this episode if it resonates with you.

Resources:
Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones: Clear, James: 9780735211292: Amazon.com: Books

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Amelia

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Cam

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Transcript

0:06

With better habits, anything is possible. Hi. I'm Cam, Holistic health coach, mom to 2 humans and 4 pets. Hi. I'm Amelia, laboratory scientist by day and food scientist by night. Welcome to our show. Join us as we share our holistic Approach to life after 50. You can expect real life stories with a dash of humor and a ton of truth. If it happens in midlife, we're going to talk about it. So hit that subscribe button and follow along. We're the Midlife Mommas. Today, we're talking about atomic habits. Guys, we've been talking about reframing our thoughts and Just, you know, becoming better people for so long. And today, we're actually basing our conversation on a book called Atomic Habits by an author called James Clear, and James Clear was interviewed by Brene Brown on her podcast, and we listened to that, and Cam has actually read the book. So we're gonna tell you how starting small can make a huge difference. Yes. And I love this book because it's full of action and it's not like all or nothing and we can throw perfectionism out the window, but we're gonna get you moving towards whatever you wanna move towards. That's the amazing thing, this can be applied to anything that your health or wellness goal that you want. Absolutely and what we found is you can set tremendous goals, and we're not against that. But when you start small, it makes it easier to tackle. So what we've also found and what we learned from James Clear is that you fall to the level of your systems. So if you don't have a system, it's hard to create the habit. I mean, I really love that, and I've been thinking about this over the last few days. It's easy to go back to your default, whatever your default is. So if you have an illness or if you're on vacation or whatever whatever life happens, whatever life throws at you, and you're like, well, I don't know what to do in this situation. So we always go back to the default without the, you know, what is the lowest level of our system. Right. Exactly. And all of us have that in some way, Whether you're a stress eater or, a binge watcher of Netflix when you're sad or lonely, You know, that may be your default behavior. And if you wanna break that habit, there's a way to do that that makes it not so And we're gonna tell you about that today. Very excited. It really is about consistency over intensity. So we're just learning how to be and it's one good moment, one good hour, one good day, having a positive outlook on what we're doing and the habits we're trying to build to improve our life. Right? Right. Exactly. Because habits are basically a pattern and we want to start or we can start with something that seems Small and insignificant, but over time, that can grow to something very meaningful. And when we talk about consistency over intensity, some of us have, that slow burn, and some of us, you know, go out flaming. And I I don't know about you, Cam, but I'm kind of the intensity person. If I'm not careful, I choose intensity city over consistency because that's kinda my personality. Yeah. So that's like making this humongous goal and then not knowing even where to start and then getting frustrated and then never partying or whatever it is. So, yeah, I I I've seen that in my own life. And then when I used to coach physically in the gym, I would see that all the time. Baby steps. Baby can sustain steps. You know, back in the probably I guess this was the nineties, in the business world, there used To be this saying, and this was kind of a catchphrase for a while, to create a b a b hag, a big, hairy, audacious goal. And the idea was if you don't dream big, you shoot for the stars. And I still think that that's an okay attitude, Tam, but I think it causes a lot of stress and anxiety because if you don't create a system that helps you get there with actual steps, Then all it is is this big lofty goal and it's easy for doubt to set in. So I kinda like to challenge that mindset because a lot of mid Lifers may have lived through that in their business, and they think that's the only way. And I don't think it is. I totally agree. And I also think it's a myth that that there's a finish line because, like, think of your health and your wellness. Is there ever a finish line or your fitness? Whatever there's never a finish line. I think we spoke about it recently, like, if you're trying to lose weight, for example, and you hit that number, are you finished? Did you make it? No. No. No. I totally agree and I love that. You know, when we create goals, we think, Oh, if this, then I'll be happy. If I if I can achieve this. And we've spoken about that so many times on the podcast. I can't even recount the episodes, but, yes, that's a myth. Uh-huh. It life is always a process. Uh-huh. Yeah. And what we wanna do is make decisions based on the person you want to be, not the end result. And I like to think of it as be, do, have. And the 1st time I heard this was actually during the pandemic of 2020, and I joined an online, I don't know, seminar. I'm always on I'm always on classes or whatever. And the 1st time I heard that, it blew my socks off. You have to be that person that you wanna be. You have to be that person right now. You have to do the things that you wanna do and then you'll have the thing, whatever you're trying to work for. But we get it mixed up so many times. We put the order out. When I have the thing, I'll be happy rather than being the person, then you'll have the thing. It's kind of flipped. Does it make sense? It makes sense and I think the key here for me is to believe that I am that person. So like for instance, I was a triathlete for a long time, and I'm not doing that anymore, but I still run. And so, you know, run is a relative term here depending on your pace. But if I if I don't believe I'm a runner, even if I'm running it slowly, then it's hard to to do the things to be the runner. But I'm gonna believe that I'm a runner even if I only run 1 time a week and I think that's the important thing here. Yeah, be the runner means you have to put on your shoes and Right. You have, like, every Saturday, this is what you do. So you do the thing, and then you have the thing. You are the runner. There you go. Right. Exactly. And these identity based habits does require you to examine yourself. You have to be introspective, because every action we take is a vote for that type of person you want to become. So the flip side of this, which maybe I shouldn't bring up, but if you tell yourself you're not this or you're not That that becomes your reality and then you're you're you're not living into the truth of who you wanna be. I absolutely love that every action we take is a vote for the person we wanna become. I absolutely love that. It's going to be my new favorite quote quote this week. I love it. Yeah, absolutely. And introspection can be a look at your own motivation. So I think we talked about this some last week, Cam, we don't want to put a vote for something that we believe other people want us to be. So creating a habit, going to the gym every day or losing £10 or, achieving the vice presidency at your company, if that's something that you perceive others want or expect from you, or and here's another good one or if you're afraid people won't approve of you if you don't achieve those things. Those are those are sketchy goals. So fear is a motivator, but it's not A very good one in the long run. Mhmm. It's more of a break versus a gas pedal, I guess. Would you say? Yeah. I totally agree with you, but I think it Takes a lot of introspection to really realize that. Oh, yeah. Yes. Absolutely. So we're gonna talk about developing a system, a process, And we're not just focusing on the goal. We're what are we optimizing for? What are, you know, what are the things that we want in our life? And if there's a gap between your current system and your goal, then the habits are the way to get to the win. The the habits, the little daily consistent things that you do are the votes for the person that you wanna become. I love it. Right, exactly. And in the book, James Clear gives this example, which is was one of my favorite things. So there's a guy who wants to become fitter, and he says, what are the habits that a person who is fit does? They go to the gym. Well, in the beginning, this guy goes to the gym 5 days a week but he stays for 5 minutes and he leaves. So that tiny step towards Being the person he wants to be by going to the gym even for 5 minutes, it says I am a person who is fit and people that are fit go to the gym. And he doesn't focus on the goal of weight loss or the end goal of fitness. It's just about that habit. Yeah. Absolutely. So he was voting for becoming a more fitter person, and so his daily habit was going to the gym. And so he's reinforcing that identity by going to the gym only 5 minutes. Right? Right. Exactly. So, you know, sometimes we can build things that become habit and then think, oh, I can do this for longer or whatever. You you grow it instead of starting out with, I've got to go to the gym and spend 30, 40 minutes, an hour every day. Because if we do that and we're not used to that activity, it may feel too daunting, and it's super easy to be like, I can't do this. Or if you miss a day and then you're, like, in the the pit and then you don't go 2 days and you don't go 3 days because the goal was too lofty. So it's like baby steps into becoming consistently your that identity is who you are, yeah. Absolutely. So what do you think about this Cam? It says when we get scared, we need courageous systems in place. You can't always count on fearful people. And I think that that really made me question a lot, because I think a lot of people are fearful. Do you have a comment on that? You know, I mentioned last week, I don't watch the news. I avoid that. I feel like it's very fear based, and even the tone of their voice makes my nervous system go. So I avoid fear. I I feel like I'm a realist, and I need to know what I need to know, and that's it. So I I think when people fall off the wagon, if they fall to what they fall to, like, the lowest level of their systems, I I guess is what I wanna say. What do you wanna say about it? No. I I agree. I I struggled with this because I think, so many people myself included at times are motivated out of fear, but like you said, I think it's more of a break than a gas pedal. It doesn't help us open up to new opportunities, it more or less makes us want to hide. And so I I think it's important when we're establishing new habits, If you can find a supportive network that that would be great. Anybody who doesn't support your goal in whatever the way that looks like, maybe it's best to limit that interaction, I certainly think that can be a difficult thing, but fearful people are a powerful damper on goal oriented people. Makes sense. I had, dinner with a girlfriend on Friday night, and I know she listens to the podcast, so I know she's gonna know it's her. And we were talking about that, like, people that, you know, for how friendships have changed over the years. And she goes to the gym and she eats healthy and all of the things. And then she was hanging out with a group of people, you know, 10 years ago and they slowly started separating once she started exercising more and eating healthy. And she said she went to dinner with them recently a couple maybe a couple years ago and she's like, this is not my group anymore, so you wanna be around people that support who you wanna become if if if I'm making sense, right? No, you're totally making sense. And I think that for those of Plus who may have a family of origin, who might have different views on life, it's extremely difficult. We're not saying that this is easy. That's why the baby steps are so important. Do one thing, go to the gym for 5 minutes, walk around your block or eat 1 extra serving of vegetables this week and then see where that takes you. Right, so we're gonna talk about the 4 things that actually will help you build a habit. These are 4 laws of behavior change according to, James Clear, And the first one is for it to be obvious. So let's go back to the gym exercise, like, you know, laying out your gym clothes the night before or putting your tennis shoes right by at the door or blocking off time in your calendar to do the thing would be some examples. Do you have any others? I think those are great. I actually like recording on a Sunday, so I've I picked up some beets yesterday and I'm gonna peel those and and chop those up so that I'll have food prep. I'm gonna make, I make a really cool kale salad. I'm gonna instead of just making enough for tonight, I'm gonna make stuff for a couple of days. So having those food items prepared and ready will allow me to say, oh, I'm gonna eat healthy on Monday and Tuesday because the food is already there. I don't have to spend time if I'm tired when I come home from work preparing the food. Yeah. Obvious. One one that comes to mind is I still struggle some days drinking enough water. And I know that's crazy, but I never miss my coffee. What is that? So if I fill up my water, when I fill up my coffee, I'm more likely to drink water that day. It's so simple. It's so obvious. You know, having your water bottle with you and with you full, it makes it more obvious to drink water. That's my daily one. I love it. I love it. And if you think about it, there's tons of ways you can cue yourself and we talked about this a while ago, Cam, in an episode about how to set your future self up for success. And this is what we're talking about. What can you do today to set your future self up for Yes. And future maybe tonight, tomorrow or next week. Yep. So the next one is you want the habit to be attractive. Would you like to speak to that? I can. This one eludes me a little bit more. I mean, obviously, if we want to make change, it's not something that we're going, it's not an ugly thing or something that makes us unhappy. So how to make the habit attractive? I would say tying it to something else just like you were saying with the water and the coffee would probably be my most comp, what comes to mind easiest. The other thing would be to do an activity with a friend. If you wanna walk more, it's more attractive if you're Actually walking with someone and catching up with a chat. So something like that I think makes the habit more attractive. Could you think of other examples of making the habit more Dev. Yeah. Anytime. Anything that would bring you joy. So I think walking with a friend is an excellent example. It's attractive, like and also, you know, let's say you okay. We're gonna meet at 11 AM on this day. So that's making it more attractive. You're not gonna, like, call and cancel on person, I would never cancel on anybody. I would go deathly ill. I would still go. Yeah. But, you know, so that's making it more attractive to help you. Your that's who your identity is. You are athletic. You are, you know, getting fit or whatever it is makes it more attractive if you have joy. I love that. And we're all about fun and joy in midlife. Yep. The third one is to make it easier or convenient. And this kinda, to me, ties Back into number 1 of making the cues or prompts obvious. Make it easy. Again, our brain defaults to wanting to establish a patterns so it doesn't have to work so hard. Mhmm. So we wanna make the activity convenient. So here's here's an example from my own life. I now work the 3 days a week I go to the office a distance from my home. I noticed in the 1st couple of weeks at this job that there's a walking trail. So instead of having to wait till I come home to go on my walk, I just take my exercise clothes with me. I change in the bathroom and then I walk out, you know, from my office. Mhmm. So that's a way that I have scoped out my environment to make my exercise more convenient to the new life that I have with this new job. Yeah. My that I think that's a great example. Mine would be like, I exercise in the morning because as the day goes on, first of all, my energy is lower, my cortisol gets lower, and I don't wanna mess up that. That's normal pattern, by the way. But I do it in the morning. So when I get dressed, what do I do? I put on my workout gear unless I have an appointment. On days I'm working out, I get dressed for that immediately rather than putting on some other clothes and then having to change. You know, it's just making sure, hey, this is what I'm gonna do today. I'm ready for it. There's no excuse. Absolutely. And I think that making things easier or more convenient may be a little bit of a habit change in and of Like, if you change jobs, maybe you need to find a different gym or maybe you need to find that, healthy food source. Like, We have a Whole Foods. I have a Whole Foods that's literally on my way home from work. So it kind of I can stop there instead of going to my local grocery store which is kind of in the opposite direction. So it's kind of a built in pattern to make something easy. Mhmm. And then number 4 is make it satisfying. And so I think it goes back to your example of walking with your friend. It's more satisfying to go with a friend. You have other things on your on your joyful plate. You're you're probably outside, you're having your own community, you're, you know, hanging out with your friends, and you're moving your body. So it's like double stack, triple stacked. Yeah. Absolutely. Making it satisfying is something that I have seen Friends struggle with that truly do not enjoy exercise and it feels like more of a job to them. So this might be a little bit of a challenge, But if you hate the heat, don't exercise outside in July especially in North Carolina. So I think there's, you know, some behaviors we can look at to say, what does this look like and there might be environments to avoid in order to make the activity more satisfying. You know, with regard to like healthy eating camp, there is a ton of things, recipes, methods, using spices and things when you cook that make things that maybe you didn't like as a kid, a lot more appetizing. It's at your fingertips to find that information. Exactly. And, also, I love making a beautiful plate, and you, miss full plate are very good at doing that. I think a beautiful plate of food makes you feel beautiful before you even eat it, and then the food is alive and full of energy, so then you or your body is also alive and full of energy. So I think that's part of it, like eating healthy, making this beautiful plate of food. I don't know. I agree. And, you know, this is kind of a non, health and wellness example. I work in a professional environment And so I'm meticulous about my appearance because it makes me feel good about myself. So I view myself as a successful professional And so I dress and do my hair and makeup because that's the person I am. And I think that's just kind of one of those ways that, you know, the cue would be I have some clothes that I love. I make it a habit every day, To dress that way so that I am that professional that I profess to be. I be do half. There you go. That's it. Yeah. And to undo an, a behavior, we would just do the opposite. So we would make it not obvious. We would make it not attractive, not convenient, and not satisfying. So fine. So for example, if you're trying to cut out your 3 PM chip habit, well, one example would be not having the chips in the house because it's going to be very inconvenient when that chip craving hits, you know, the 3 pm hour, for example. Absolutely. And this is a little bit tougher, but in the same vein, you and I have both professed to liking that glass of wine when we Mhmm. If you decided that you need to not have that habit, definitely, you know, even if you've got 1, I'm not saying to throw it out, but Put your unopened bottles in a closet, don't leave them in your kitchen. Like you can physically remove something from your space so that you're not tempted to use it, consume it just like okay, evening screens. If you Think that you're watching too much TV or looking at screens at night like you did, Cam, take the television out of the room. Yeah. Put your phone away. At at meal times, don't have your phone with you, so removing that that object that's causing the problem from your purview. Yeah. Just making it less convenient, basically. That's it. Yeah. We already mentioned this, but it's like habit stacking. So when you a habit stacking is taking the idea of something that's well established and adding something before or after it. So mine is filling out my coffee and my water. That's my, like, go to example. But you could easily do that, like, when I put on my shoes, I take my dogs for a walk. Those are like the because I'm always barefoot. That's so if I put my shoes on, I'm leaving the house. And the 1st time I leave the house every day is for a dog walk. So that's just an example of how you can stack things together to make it happen. I love that. My habit also is a morning thing, But and and I get off track with this on the weekend because the sequence of events are not always the same, but I make the coffee first. I take my supplements with water And then when I get ready to go to the back of my house where my bathroom is to shower and get ready for work, I always get some water because I use a neti pot every day to kinda clear out all the crap from my nose and sinuses. And when I don't do that sequence, I always forget to use the neti pot. Interesting. Yeah. On my workday I mean and I just feel like it keeps me healthy, Cam. I've been a believer in the neti pot for, like, 4 or 5 years, and it kinda drives me crazy because I'm like, dang it. It's Saturday, and I forgot to use the neti pot. Mhmm. That's a great example of habit stacking when things get out of sequence, then things fall off. You know? Yeah. So your environment totally matters, and it's easier to have new new habits when old habits are established, but if you're in a new place or a different place, sometimes they fall off. It's okay. Right. Exactly. So, you know, when I took my new job, I was like, okay. Where am I gonna work from my work from home days, I certainly didn't wanna sit on my couch because I didn't think that would be productive. So I set up my quote office in my dining room, it's really easy to move if we're gonna eat in that space, but I have a time that I try to sit down in my home office That I open it up and I shut it down. And that kind of new space and new environment with that select purpose has allowed me to keep on schedule. I love that. This is also really important. A habit must be established before you can improve it. So it has to be like automatic, a standard of life. Like for me, coffee and collagen, So it's already there. You know? So how can I improve upon that after it's already established? Right? Right. Exactly. And it goes back to, James Clears example of the guy in the gym for 5 minutes. Once he's established that he goes for 5 minutes, then he can improve it and maybe stay for 10, 15, 20. So again, it's we're talking about consistency over intensity, we started the podcast with that. So if you do something for Every day or 3 days a week or whatever, your consistency is more important than how long you do it or how intensely you do it. Yeah. And we don't give ourselves credit for showing up in those small ways because we have these lofty goals, and we're like, feel like a failure if we don't achieve the lofty goal, but we're missing the point here. If we do small things and we're consistent, then we need to celebrate those things because we're on our way. Yeah. Absolutely. You just have to show up. It creates momentum. The more reason you have to keep going, and that is actual success. That is the definition of success, and I I agree with you, Cam. We need to give ourselves credit for what that looks like. Which leads into self awareness, and I feel like like, this is a thing. When you become self aware, everything changes. When you change your mind, the way you look at yourself, the way you talk to yourself, talk about yourself, all the things, you can see yourself behaving in a certain way whether that be positive or negative, it doesn't really matter, but the self awareness is the key. And as I mentioned last week, less than 1% of our brain is actually conscious and the other 99.99 whatever percent is unconscious. And so when we bring it to the light, then we can do something about it. If we are unaware of what we're doing, how you can't you can't stop doing it. You're just on autopilot. Exact exactly. And that's the the whole, I don't know. People that say, oh my gosh. I was gonna have 1 chip and I sat down and said that the whole bag was I mean, I've done that. Right? Yep. So, you know, again, I think you're dead on there, Cam. If we're not aware of it Mhmm. Then it's happening, and we can't change something that we're not aware of. Yeah. And, you know, if you're craving chips every day at 3 PM, that would be my personal example. So I I'm I've trained myself long enough to pause. Is it an emotion? Am I sad, lonely, mad, angry, whatever? Or do I need more fat in my life, do I need more salt in my life? Did I drink water with salt is one of my things, for all the minerals? Like what is it behind why am I doing this? Did I not sleep well? Am I craving cheap and easy carbs at that time of day? Like, you know, just pause long enough and become self aware. Why am I grabbing the chips at 3 PM, what's going on? You know, it's funny you should say that, Cam, because I've begun to question. I'll I'll have sudden intense emotions. Sometimes they're fearful. Sometimes it's anxiety. I'm I'm talking about negative things here, not necessarily positives. And I've started to be like, what did I just See, do, hear. What sensation caused this like pit in my stomach or Feel like my heart has dropped. And I've noticed a couple of things. I have some triggers on social media and we all know that, you know, By and large, we need to not be spending so much time on social media. But here's the other really interesting one, Cam. I love coffee and I'm very conscious about when I cut off the caffeine, but I actually have honed in on that a little more and And I'm starting to switch to green tea basically after my 1st cup of coffee because if I'm already kinda hyped on caffeine, any hiccup in my workday causes me to kinda panic. And so I think it spikes my cortisol, and adrenaline even more, and I'm less able to cope. So I'm I'm monitoring that caffeine and choosing that green tea, which is a slower steady state drip rather than that high energy jolt. Have you noticed any positive biofeedback? Or what's have you noticed any I've only been doing it a few days. This has been a super recent development. So I'll have to let you know in a week or two. Right. Right. But I think there's something to it because I definitely have noticed, like the sweaty armpits and the racing heart, which are symptoms of over caffeination anyway, but it's it it Actually, my brain kind of spirals out of control when I'm already in that state. Yeah. Isn't it interesting how it's physical and emotional and that we're all connected? Absolutely. All these things are connected. Lily. Yes, I love it. You know, something that does sabotage ourselves is when we start too big. We already mentioned this, but if you want to live a more active fit life, start at the beginning. You know, don't don't don't set your eye on the final prize. You have to what steps are gonna help you get there? And our guide going to the gym for 5 minutes a day would be an example or laying out your clothes or getting your shoes on or setting a date with yourself or your best friend, whatever it is, but start small and let that become your identity rather than it's all or nothing. And I failed. I might as well stop. Exactly. Exactly. Unfortunately, our culture has kinda conditioned us to be like that that, You know, on January 1st, you're gonna lose 25 pounds and you're gonna get fit when it should be, well, I'm gonna be I am go I I'm going to be a fit person, I am a fit person so I'm gonna go to the gym and let it stop there. So definitely setting these lofty goals are difficult But there's also a difference between, motion versus action. So you wanna tell us about that? Yeah. This part makes me laugh. So maybe you can identify with this. I know I can. All the prepping, all the planning, all the things. You're doing all the things, but there there's no follow through. So all the planning is part of a way of procrastinating to actually doing. So motion versus action are different. Motion for example, if you are wanna hire a personal trainer, so you go and talk to the personal trainer. You your brain thinks, well, you're doing something, you're gonna get fitter because you talk With better habit to the personal trainer, yet you didn't make the appointment to actually go to the workout or whatever it is. Like, so it's kind of like a mind game, I guess. So So we wanna make sure we're actually doing action that will help us reach our goals, like putting on your shoes and taking a walk or something. I have seen I've done this. So for instance, I bought and I I'm not a terrible knitter, but at one time in my life, probably 15, Maybe more like 20 years ago, Cam, I decided I was gonna learn how to knit, and I did. Girl, I bought all of this, yarn, expensive yarn to make beautiful things and I accomplished a few projects, but literally we were cleaning out an extra The bedroom yesterday and my husband grabs this tote bag that's got all of this yarn in it. I'm like, oh my gosh. And so Here's here's the thing. I wanted to be a knitter because I thought, okay. If I'm knitting at night and using my hands, I'm not gonna be stuffing food in my mouth. So that was My mindset and I bought all the things, but I'm not a knitter. Like, I love the idea, but I just never followed through. And I I think that happens a lot whether it's contacting the personal trainer or you buy all the Lululemon or maybe you maybe you wanna cook, and so you're like, oh, I need all of Decathlon or whatever the most popular brand of cookware is, the chef's nice. If you don't love to cook and it's not If your motivation is something other than true, buying all the stuff isn't gonna make you a great cook. Right? No. No. It's on the path, but then you have to have an action after that. Like, you're you know? Yeah. Totally. I'm gonna rat out my husband here. He he does a lot of motion, and then then he'll do an action. But there's so much motion before the action happens, and just do the thing. Does it really matter? No. Just do it. You know, I think that's I think men are predisposed to that. I've seen a lot of that as well. Actually, my husband does have, Action, but a lot of times, it's unfinished action. Like, things will get started and not complete. So I don't know if it's a guy thing. If we're going somewhere, like, on a vacation or out of the town whatever, out of town, there's all this, like, crazy motion, like, getting things that don't even matter. I don't know. But we can laugh about it. That dream. Yeah. Yeah. Totally laugh about it. Now it's self aware, so at least maybe it'll stop or slow down. I don't know. Absolutely. So let's just, to wrap up, Cam, do you have any personal systems? I think we've talked about it already, but any Things that over time has allowed you to be successful, and successful can be your definition of successful. Yeah. I think I think making it easy and obvious is a big deal. Like, the habit stacking is a huge a huge thing that I like to teach and use personally. Just making it easy and obvious. You know, if you're going to work out, don't hide your tennis shoes. Put them right in the middle of the floor, so you're like, yep. I'm gonna put my shoes on, for example. Exactly. How about you? Very much the same. So, in my probably late twenties, early thirties, I Began a diet and exercise journey where the steps were tiny. So the 1st steps in those early years when I was Parenting infants, it looked like instead of mac and cheese making a salad with my shake and baked pork Chops and my tater tots, let's be honest. And so over time that developed and then it became, you know, and I kind of was beyond the meal planning and subscription services by the time they came about, I had kind of moved past the need for that, but That's what I tell people. Start small, just substitute one thing, and the same with exercise. I started with walking and running just very, very short distances Until it became a habit that I actually enjoyed. Mhmm. So my journey and habit stacking in that regard, Cam, has literally been 30 years. Mhmm. Yeah. And it doesn't have to be overnight, for example. And and there's no Exactly. There's no destination anyhow. So we're I I was teaching about this the other day, I'm three and a half years into menopause, and every year, every month, it's different. And and before we hit record, we were sharing the same thing. Like, what you can expect is change. That's the only thing you can expect in life is it to change. Exactly. So if you can build a system that helps you be successful with the obvious cues and making the habit attractive and easy And satisfying, you will indeed find greater joy in For listening today, you can find us on Instagram@midlife.mommas. For all of our other contact info, check out the show description below, and we will talk to you next