Being Single in Midlife: The Unique Joys and Challenges

Midlife brings challenges. For some, being single in midlife is a blessing, but for others, it's a challenge.
In this episode of the Midlife Mommas, Cam and Amelia explore Being Single in Midlife. Cam has some personal experience here, but we both know plenty of single gals in midlife. This is not an episode about being a single mom, but rather a talk about the joys and challenges of being single in midlife. 
We talk about:

• Loneliness and social isolation
• Financial considerations
• Where are all the single guys?
• Personal freedom and independence
• Flexibility and spontaneity
• Reinventing life goals!

Even if you're not single, we know there's something here for everyone!

00:02:00 Midlife single stigma: discrimination, societal pressure.
00:04:27 Navigating relationships in the workplace and marriage.
00:07:59 Financial considerations complicate socializing and trips.
00:11:55 Dating criteria: financial, aesthetics, geographical challenges
00:13:12 Midlife dating: companionship vs emotional support.
00:19:33 Enjoying alone time is important to me.
00:22:33 Reconnecting with a friend after divorces.
00:25:55 Emotional self-reliance key to personal growth.
00:27:28 Loss, identity crisis, becoming an athlete, self-dependence.
00:30:41 Midlife brings self-love and empowerment for all.

Stay Connected!
Amelia

• Website: https://www.thehelpfulplate.com/
• IG: https://www.instagram.com/thehelpfulplate/

Cam

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Transcript

0:08

Hi. I'm Cam Holistic health coach, mom, the 2 humans, and 4 pets. Hi. I'm Amelia, laboratory scientist by day, and food scientist by night. Welcome to our show. Join us as we share our holistic approach to life after 50. You can expect real life stories with a dash of humor and a ton of truth. If it happens in midlife, we're going to talk about it. So hit that subscribe button and follow along. We're the Midlife Mommas. Hello, everybody. I hope you heard Beyonce seeing us into this episode of the Midlife Mommas. We are gonna talk today about embrace seeing being single in midlife. Yeah. I know a little bit about this. Most of my forties, I was in that category. So And and, you know, Kim, I thought this was a brilliant topic. I have not been single in midlife, but we had a request from a couple of listeners. So I love it when people tell us what subjects they're interested in. So kudos to these ladies who are embracing their singlehood in midlife. Absolutely. And I know you have a few single friends in midlife. So although you have an experience that you can see it through their eyes. Yeah. Absolutely. And I and some of these people have been single for a while that maybe they started their single life after a period of married life, before hitting midlife. And some are relatively new in the single in the single life but I have to admit Cam, you know, I know it's tough and we're gonna talk about some challenges, but all the women I know that are single in midlife are really embracing it. I'm so proud of them for that. Yeah. So we're gonna talk about the benefits as well because there has to be benefits. There has to be the other side of the coin. So let's start with the challenges. being single in midlife. What do you got first? Well, you know what? The first one may not, you know, some people may not recognize this as much as others, but depending on where you grew up and what your cultural is or your family of origin norm as it were, there may be still some social stigma that and pressure that come along with being single and midlife. I know that, my daughters in their mid, in late twenties, the whole thing of when you get married, when are you having kids? And there's kind of a converse to that in midlife when people want to know about your, quote, husband's spouse partner. And if you're single, Sometimes you get a little bit of a crestfall and look from the from the person you're talking to. Yeah. And I think it's kind of a form of discrimination, if you will. Yeah. Totally. Yeah. One of the women I spoke to about this episode was discrimination. So I can imagine, like, if people are getting together, but it's all couples, are you gonna be included or not? So it's kind of like that same thing. Socially, maybe you feel discriminated against because you don't have a partner. I don't know. Yeah. I think that's a real thing. And so you know, I like I said, I've not experienced this, but it is it is sad that we have that and we don't meet it, we we feel the repercussions. Yeah. I I remember in my forties being single and wanting to go somewhere, but, like, do I go? Do I go mommyself? Right. like, you know, all of that weirdness. And, you know, sometimes I did, and sometimes I didn't. Sometimes I just stayed home. but, you know, so that's definitely an issue. judgment, feeling inadequate, all those things that come along with that. It's so silly. It is silly. Now I'm so glad you used that word because we are independent. we've learned so much and the, you know, we talk about midlife as being a time of awakening, but I think that it can be hard for some people if they are newly single and they've been in a partnership for a very long time. Just the loss of that person in whatever capacity they contributed to your life can be really tough. Yeah. And that kinda leads to the next thing about loneliness and social eye isolation because that, you know, you may choose to stay home or you may not be invited to the thing. or your social circles changed. I know personally when I got divorced in my forties, my there were some friends, and it was all me. Oh, I've talked about this before. I felt so much shame about being divorced. I just kinda became a hermit and cut off a lot of people from my Former married life? I don't know. Have you seen your friends do that? actually, the few I'm thinking about not really, but I have heard talk about it, like, in the workplace for sure. And the other thing is sometimes when we're married, we have friends that are couples. So you may really like The woman and the couple, but you enter that relationship with that woman through your marriage and and your ex and that woman's husband are still friends. and it may feel weird. And so it is it is difficult. I've had friends who I was friends with them and spouse number 1, and then they got divorced. And it was a little awkward at first when we met spouse number 2. And so there's a lot of things that we have to kind of navigate when we're going through these relationship changes, but the good news is that when we're authentic with our selves and our friends, I personally believe it does work out. Yeah. And I would say my isolation was self induced. Like, I didn't I didn't want to have them choose And there was a shame, like, blanket over me. So I just withdrew from that and my new group of friends. I just hung out with people that knew me and my new role, not as the married teacher. You know what I mean? Yeah. It was awkward, though. Yeah. I can imagine. I really can. And, you know, but that's also to avoid true isolation and feeling, because that can be a a bad rabbit hole cam to stay in there. So you gotta really work on maintaining those strong relationships and social networks. Sometimes that may be reaching out to those people that it feels awkward to do so, or maybe it means making new friends. you know, fast forward 10 years 10 years you know, later down the road. I've reconnected the with the women I'm thinking about, and we've gone backpacking and hiking and done other things. We went to Sedona last year. Like, So I got over my weirdness, and I've rekindled these relationships. And it's just it feels once I got out of my own way, Amelia, out of my awkwardness, it's fine. I'm so proud of you for that. And I just for anyone listening that might be newly divorced or single for whatever reason, I hope you take that is such a a hopeful sign that this is something that you can overcome. And honestly, Cam, you know, when we when we separate from one relationship. We don't have to jump right into another one. We are we are perfectly normal, healthy, whole beings just of ourselves. We don't have to be one half of a hole. Exactly. We need to be two holes or just one hole. It's okay. Yeah. I would say we all got a taste a little bit of sol socialization back in 2020 when the world shut down. And so be empathetic to your single friends, because you know what that felt like, maybe. Maybe you experienced some extra loneliness during that time as well. So be encouraging to your single friends, you know, call them, text them, go for a walk, whatever. Right. Exactly. And I have I have a couple of, Actually, some people that I met at work, one is married and 1 is not. And when we get together, it's generally just us girls. and we don't include husband. So it doesn't matter who's single and who's not because we're just girlfriends. Yeah. And that's the whole thing. That's the moral of the story for me personally. I put all these rules on my life and all these, you know, and they didn't care. And we've had some funny conversations about I'm like, yeah, I was embarrassed. I I felt like you were judging me, and that's not true at all. It was all in my mind. Absolutely. Well, our next, challenge as it were is a little it's a little more I won't say that social isolation is not real because it certainly is But the next one is financial considerations. And this is something if you are married and you're friends with people who are single when you plan, friendship gatherings, or especially trips. This is where it gets a little bit more difficult because people who are single are single income household unless they have a roommate or something like that. And so when you're a married couple or you have partner and you share expenses, you may have a little bit more money to play with. I have a friendship group that from college, and we like to take trips. And so, you know, we wanna be conscious, like, maybe going to Hawaii this year might not be a consideration for everyone in your friendship group. Uh-huh. So, you know, I I really like when I choose trips or even restaurants or suggest activities. It's no different than considering an activity for your athletic versus your non athletic friends. You want everyone to have fun and not be embarrassed or have any sort of, I don't know, reticence to to participate, but financial considerations is a big deal. Yeah. I received this message on Instagram. I would just like to find someone to split the bill with LOL. Being single now and living in one income is my biggest struggle. So there you go. Absolutely. And, you know, at in in midlife, hopefully, people are looking forward to retirement at whatever age you wish to do that. And if you are newly single, that may take on a whole life of its own where if you were thinking, oh, you know, when I'm in my sixties seventies, I'll be a shared income home. And if you're not anymore, that's a huge consideration and can be quite a mental and emotional burden for some people. Totally. So, yeah, that's definitely a consideration. I remember being newly single myself. Like, how am I gonna make this work? Can I still coach at the gym? Cause at this time, I quit teaching, which was like an income and coaching at the gym was a little different. I'm like, can I still do what I love and still make it? I was a big it was a big deal. And I'm very resourceful and a penny pincher, so it all worked out. But it was scary. I remember Sure. I'm sure it is scary. I I can't even imagine, but, you know, I've taken, different jobs or job cuts and, you know, some people have suffered through loss of employment. So we can all empathize with our friends who are single who have these financial considerations. Most of most of us have had some sort of financial setback somewhere in our lives or career that we can empathize with that situation. Totally. And the next one, a limited dating pool. Oh, yeah. Oh, boy. Did you did you feel that cam, like, when you were newly divorced, were and let me ask this first. Did you even was it a while before you wanted to date? yeah. because you have to, like, once the dust settles, it was a process before I moved out. So it wasn't like overnight. It was a few years. before I find, like, counseling and trying to figure it out. So there was a lot of time, and then I bought a house and moved out then it was, like, another year before it was final. So it was, like, a long process. 2019, 12 or 13. So once I, like, got on my own in my own house, I remember dating maybe 6 months after I moved into that house, even though I was just legally separated at that time. So Yeah. Did you feel like, oh my gosh. This is so much harder than when I was younger because there's fewer men my age. Well, that's bad, but everyone also has a story and they have rights. So, you know, when you're 20 something and you meet somebody, they only have 20 something years a baggage. So -- Right. -- you're meeting someone in midlife. You got baggage. That could be kids. It could be crazy parents. It could be crazy exes. It could be a lot of things. Wow. You know, I mean, not being single myself. I'm so glad you brought that up because I have known friends that had pretty strict dating criteria. some of it was financial. They did not wanna get wrapped up with someone who was financially dependent on someone else. or couldn't support themselves. And some of it is, you know, of course, aesthetics or, you know, and a lot of it now, Cam, now that we have online dating apps, there's a geographical component when when we were in our twenties at least, we didn't have that. So you met people organically where you actually saw their faces. So You know, I've got a really good friend who ended up dating a man, from Canada, and they married. And he moved to where she lives because he was semi tired already. So that's huge. Like, and I love the stories where it works out, but there's a lot of lot of challenges. Yeah. You wanna make sure they, like, have a car and a job. They brush their teeth. I mean, there's you just never know. Let let me just say And also, if they've gone through divorce, their financial struggles, which we just spoke about, is going to be I feel like it's more amplified for the man. I don't know if that's really true, but you know, so there's also that. You've got there's a lot of different playing moving parts when it comes to dating and midlife. Yeah. For sure. And, you know, this has probably happened a while ago, but my dad, actually, my parents divorced when I was in my twenties. And my dad, of course, was in midlife when he started dating, and he fell into that. He was very emotionally needy. because he had always had a partner, my mom, and he went straight from my grandmother's house to college to mom to living with my mommas there was a lot he couldn't do by himself. And so he dated a woman for a lot of years who, it was like a trade off she he gave her money and she provided him the emotional support he needed. It was a horrible situation. But he he yeah. He did he really and we talked about it, and he was like, I am willing to do this for this companionship at this point. And it made me sad, but he did understand what he was doing. So Yeah. Midlife dating, that, you know, that's a whole different ball game. It is a whole different ball game, but we're gonna talk about it in a minute. It's also an awesome opportunity. to know and love yourself extra and establish boundaries. And, like, that is not a a, you know, that's a deal breaker or, yeah, that seems alright. You know, and trust your gut instincts. So-- Right. Exactly. And the one of the last challenges we have is exactly what my dad experienced and lived wholeheartedly. fear of aging alone. And, you know, when you're in midlife, it's not like you're in your twenties where you've got your whole life ahead of you. We certainly hope that there's a lot of years But, you know, my my fear, anxiety, whatever you wanna call it, creeps up when I'm tired. And so I can only imagine there are points low points when you are single in midlife where you might think, wow. I'm in this empty house by myself or with my pets, and you don't want to fall and break a hip or, you know, need something and there's no one there to help you. Yeah. Exactly. And I guess I kind of collected dogs during this time of my life. My my first dog maverick was because someone knocked on the door. It was the sheriff in the neighborhood. We had a HOA situation. at 3 AM. And I answered the door, like, 4 months, 3 months after moving out. Both kids were home, and I answered the door in my pajamas. And then when I closed the door, I'm like, wait a second. Like, you're living in a new world right now. And so I got a dog because, you know, I don't know. I didn't get a gun. I got a dog. Yeah. I didn't hear you. Yeah. Yeah. So I think that was like an moment. Like, I I can't just answer the door at 3 in the morning. It was creepy that he was there anyhow, and he said my son's car door was open, which I thought was sketchy. Like, the whole thing was sketchy, but it turned out alright. And we added Maverick to our family. But, yeah, there's just different you just have different concerns when you live alone for sure. Absolutely. My mom lives alone. She's, I guess, past midlife. At this point, she's over 80, but I worry about her actual health and safety because if she falls, no one's there. and, you know, her siblings check on her and I check on her and her neighbors do, But, you know, living alone, there is a certain amount of inherent I mean, regardless of age, honestly, Cam, and when you live alone, neither one of my daughters live alone anymore. But when they did, it was still a concern of tell someone where you're going, especially if it's a late night so that, you know, just say that you're accounted kind of thing. Yeah. Yeah. And I have my daughter has her location on on her phone, and I have it on for me. And my husband has his on. Like, I don't know. It's just like, okay. Where are you? Like, at least so there's that. I live on a street. We are we are not retirement age, but my street is retirement age. We live kind of in the retirement section of my neighborhood, and we've had we have the 5th ambulance run just 2 days ago. And we have a lot of single women living alone. They're widows or they're divorced or whatever. We've had falls. We've had 2, 3 falls now. Anyway, it it's a real concern, and I feel like we kind of look out for each other, but you need that. And then life, you need who's your squad? Who's who's checking on you? Exactly. That that's a great point. I love that you brought that up because I've, my mom's former neighborhood, not where she lives now. There were some elderly lay. I mean, I don't mean elderly, and they did that. They were always, you know, chatting and and and looking out for each other. And it it has a dual benefit, right, like you're checking on each other's health, but you also have that social connection. Yeah. Which is a huge deal in midlife. Like, social isilisilization, I feel like, is one of the things, like, not sleeping and not having social interactions with people are, like, downgrades your health in a great way. I don't know. Absolutely. So there are ways that we can kind of combat the negative because midlife, we talk about it all the time. The time of awakening is the time to embrace the positive and, seek like minded individuals. So let's talk about some of the benefits of being single in midlife. I love this first one. Personal freedom and independence. And, now that I am remarried, I still feel that. Like, being single, I learned how to be okay with myself. I love the freedom of going and doing things on my terms. on my timeline and not have to worry about just I just have to worry about the pets. You know? so that freedom, you have a lot of freedom when you're Absolutely. And if your partner or spouse had pesky habits, you're shed of those now. And so you can you know, arrange your furniture the way you want. You can use the laundry detergent of your choice. You can there's so much that you don't have to consider which can be very liberating. And in my opinion, very confidence boosting. So it's not like you've lopped off a piece of yourself while it it could feel like that at first. I'm sure it can be a time of immense personal growth. And I just think that is, would be a very positive mindset to embrace instead of the grieving and or loss aspect of being single. Yeah. I I crave freedom and independence, and I love being home alone. And I know that it goes back to those days in my forties. That's what I learned. Yeah. I need some alone time. That's good. I love that. Mhmm. Do you need a loan time even though you've been here a long time? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And, honestly, Kim, what brought that or this is a side note, but what brought that about for me is having babies. So I was a very immersed emotionally needy person before I had children. And then once they were the emotionally needy ones, I was like, oh, they're little clinging bodies and crying. And I was like, oh, I need some alone time. So I've really learned to embrace that. And I and to this day, I love going to in fact, I fir going to a movie theater by myself. Oh. I go out. Well, you know, we had an episode about this many, many weeks or a few months ago. or not about just being alone, but, you know, kind of getting out of your comfort zone, but I I will eat a meal by myself. So, yeah, I love that that time to reflect. Yeah. It's interesting. I can never imagine you as a needy human like that. I cannot I cannot imagine that. No. No. Well, my husband could tell you some stories. Okay. Okay. another benefit of being single in midlife is you have time for self care and personal growth. And, like, you can really learn to love and know yourself even better. I love it. Yeah. Absolutely. say this could take the form of really dialing in your sleep habits. we've talked about magnesium supplementation and all of the things to do in the morning and in the evening. to supplement, good sleep hygiene. It could also mean learning a new skill, personal growth, maybe you've always wanted to learn how to do a particular thing. It could be, I don't know, basket weaving. I don't know. Pick pick a pick something. Maybe you wanna to join a book club or learn how to write poetry or experiment with that. There's time for that in midlife. And I think those are it's a great time to explore something new. I agree. I I started taking classes in my mid forties. Online classes are amazing. You can learn anything online. And that just scratches the itch for me so much. but you could do something like in person, like, take a pottery class or -- Mhmm. -- I don't know. There's just The sky is the limit, but it's a chance for you to engage in activities to improve your physical health, your emotional health, whatever whatever whatever Sounds right to you. Absolutely. And when you don't have someone else to care for, there's more time for flexibility and spontaneity. So with the regard to spontaneity, if you're like ham and you accumulate pets, there might be a little bit of a limit on that. But, you know, Certainly, you don't have to consult another human schedule before you make plans. Yeah. And so, you know, that's a beautiful thing. It may at first feel like a loss. But I think, again, if you can embrace that positive mindset without the commitments and responsibilities of a partner or a family, single people can just go and do and they can change their minds even. You know, you don't have to you don't have to apologize for that. Just like, oh, yes. I wanna go or no. I don't. and then you just do it and feel good about it. Yeah. About a month ago, I went on a walk, with a long time friend. We used to work together, but I haven't really was one of the people I cut off when I got divorced. I don't know why. Awful. But anyways, yeah. So we we used to walk and run and rollerblade together. And so I we haven't done that since 2009 Amelia. Anyway, we reconnected and we went on a long walk and she lost her husband recently. And she's like, I'm good. And, yeah, about a year ago, maybe. She's like, I'm good being single. I I wanna do rock climbing. She runs marathons. She does triathlon triathlons. And she's like, I want the flexibility to go and do whatever I want. So it's definitely a benefit and she's like embracing what life has thrown at her, and it's like she's going and doing. That is amazing. And, you know, even work can change for you. If you wanna work different hours or work if if you want to move because you no longer have to go home and Dick's food for anybody else or or regard other other people's schedule. And I say that because I work for an international company And occasionally, there are postings for jobs in other places, which might be cool. My husband doesn't hold me back. Like, if I were like babe, I wanna, you know, see about investigating this in Singapore. I mean, I don't know that he'd love it, but I it wouldn't be a huge hindrance. But the point is if you are single, even that consideration is alleviated. And so there's just so much flexibility, and freedom to do what you want. Yep. Next one is strong social connections. It goes back to those friendships so you can build strong, meaningful relationships and connections with people, and you have the freedom to do it. If you wanna go out to dinner randomly, you don't have to, like, check-in with anybody. It's alright. Yeah. Absolutely. Making new friends. I think at all stages of life is is hugely important. But you might say, you know, if you've been in this partnership and been on the same schedule for years, how might I develop new relationships. And it kinda goes back to what we talked about, you know, with exploring new things. Maybe you do go to a rock climbing gym for first time and you meet some new people. Maybe you get involved with a group. Maybe your local bookseller has a book club, or maybe you have mutual friends and they're like, hey, you know, come hang out with us and then you meet somebody or even church gatherings. So there's just a ton, like, even in my community cam, in the summertime, there's at least 2 Friday evenings a month where there's free concert or community gathering. Those are great things to do. Yeah. Absolutely. And then you have something in common with that person. Right. You know? So maybe that would be good. you could it's a great time to reinvent your life goals. So being in single and mid life allows you to reevaluate your life goals and your priorities. You can set new objectives for yourselves, career paths, whatever it is, you have all that freedom. Like, what do you really want in life? It's the time to check-in with yourself. Yeah. Absolutely. And if you decide on a new career path that needs a new skill, there's tons of online classes and ways to get those skills. So there's no Hindrance to actually pursue in those career or life goals. Yeah. You can do whatever you want. That's it. The -- The world is your oyster. Absolutely. So one of the last things we have here is emotional self reliance. And this is a big one because I already admitted that I had had been an emotionally needy person. So when you are single, you necessarily develop emotional self reliance and resilience, which is so important as a life skill. Because if there's one thing we know about life is it's always gonna be changing and there's always gonna be some sort of heartache and stuff So by going through the single being single and relying on yourself, I think I said it before. It's a huge confidence booster because you learn how to cope with challenges independently. Maybe your washing machine springs a leak and you fix it by a YouTube video. Like, how cool is that? Yeah. So lots and lots of learning opportunity but also an opportunity to grow and be reliant on yourself. Yeah. And if you think about it, if you went through the checklist like a 1,000,000 I did, you -- went to college. You've met somebody. You got married. You had kids. You checked all the boxes in a row. Maybe you never had that experience to rely on yourself and really know yourself. I don't know. Would you say that? Yeah. Totally. And, I mean, my self realization came -- while I had a partner, but I know many women who arrive at midlife and kinda have lost themselves in that partnership. I was very lucky that my husband is you know, just not he's not he doesn't smother me and not that other women's husbands do as well, but it's a great time to find yourself. Yeah. I felt I felt a great loss in my forties. Like, being a mom, my role was changing. My kids were in college. That felt different. They didn't need me as much. I lost my marriage, you know, of 20 years. So it's like all this loss, like, who am I as a human. And the rest of the story was I became an athlete, a crazy athlete. So that was my new identity until that didn't work. But, anyway, you can learn to depend on yourself, and it's actually a beautiful journey. And for me, personally, I never did that in my twenties. I just kept checking the boxes and just kept going and Anyway, so it was time. It was time. Absolutely. So if we've got some single friends listening that feel more challenged than in Howard. What are some things we could tell them that they could try to make help them create more of a positive mindset for this? Yeah. I would say, like, you know, find communities where other single women in midlife or connect with, like, minded individuals, whether that's a book club or an exercise class or a church or something, but seek out like minded people and realize that you're not alone. Yeah. What else? Perfect. Perfect. Also, you know, you and I both have had counseling. And so when you undergo a loss, I think counseling is a great option. It doesn't it doesn't mean you're broken. It's not a crutch. It is a tool in your toolbox to help you cope with the changing status of your life. So I think counseling, is a great option to help you navigate this sort of change. Yeah. And all my counseling experience started when my marriage was falling apart in 2009. And for years, I went with this counselor after that marriage ended. I kept going. I was part of a woman's group, and it was amazing. And I'm so grateful for that time period because It unlocked a lot of things about myself. I didn't know anyway. So now I think I am. Yeah. That's super cool. I'm acquainted with, I think, 2 families, maybe more, where counseling is just a given in their home, like their kids. And these aren't people that that are damaged people. It's just such a valuable tool because we all have some kind of baggage. I mean, we do. We aren't perfect. Our parents weren't perfect. we have, you know, micro, traumas left and right. And so a lot of us do need that help, and I just think it's a great way to navigate any kind of change. And like you said, it can lead to even greater growth. Yeah. And I think the stigma, we just gotta kick that out the door and just like, you know, I I think it's better. I think our parents' generation, like, oh, you're going to see counselor. Oh, you're a therapist. Like, you know, look down your nose at somebody. And I feel like our kids, speaking for mine, let's let me hear what you think. our kids are way more open to it. Would you agree to that? Oh, absolutely. A 100%. It's not even, you know, there's no whispering about counseling anymore. just it is what it's just like you're going to the doctor to get your physical. It's no big deal. Yeah. But when I started my forties, it was whispering about it. Of course. Yeah. Of course. a 100%. I totally get it. Now I talk about it on the podcast. So here we go. And you're helping so many other people. So You know, I think being single in midlife, while I'm not looking to be single immediately, I'm not trying to say married life sucks for me because it certainly does not. but I just I'm so proud of my friends who are single and just embracing that and, you know, just rocking their midlife as a single woman. I think we can take those lessons and and get inspired by those people. And I think I think it's part of the midlife awakening, whether you're married or you're single, Like, there's some spirit that happens in midlife where you get to know and love yourself extra and you take care of your physical and emotional self in a different way than used to. And so for our single friends out there, we're rooting for you. You can do this. Absolutely. Thanks for listening today. you can find us on instagram@midlife.mommas. For all of our other contact info, check out the show description below. and we will talk to you next week.