Ditch the List of 3 Things. Gratitude Should be THIS Instead with Holly Bertone

 Gratitude! We've all heard it, but how do we implement it?
Join our conversation with Holly Bertone, who is a certified Natural Health Coach & Certified 6 Phase Meditation Facilitator; she is an Amazon bestselling author and host of the Gratitude Builds Fortitude podcast. Holly shares her real life experience working in the fast-paced world of government before a breast cancer diagnosis changed her world. Despite this, and many other challenges, Holly has risen to the challenge and created a beautiful, gratitude-filled life.
 Also new, see timestamps below.
00:02:10 Gratitude list becomes a meaningless checklist.
00:04:05 Overachiever's life collapses after health struggles; gratitude heals.
00:10:40 Cancer diagnosis, initial fear, and unexpected peace.
00:13:36 Taking ownership of health and well-being.
00:18:22 Gratitude goes beyond listing, and has health benefits.
00:20:37 Gratitude: diverse expressions based on personalities.
00:25:08 It's okay to feel, acknowledge, and release emotions.
00:29:34 Divorce story built mental resilience, surprising results.
00:37:02 Gratitude: Reps every day, automatic part of you.
00:38:28 Social media platform Instagram is the focus.


Gratitude Builds Fortitude Podcast:
https://academy.pinkfortitude.com/blog

Gratitude Quiz and Other Goodies:
https://academy.pinkfortitude.com/podcast-landing-welcome

Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/holly.bertone/

YouTube:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXZoAVUXw1LaJ8sSyk1KvLA

Stay Connected!
Amelia

• Website: https://www.thehelpfulplate.com/
• IG: https://www.instagram.com/thehelpfulplate/

Cam

• Website: https://www.camoyler.com/
• IG: https://www.instagram.com/heymomma_cam/
• TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@heymomma_cam

Midlife Mommas IG: https://www.instagram.com/midlife.mommas/

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Transcript

0:00

Amelia, I grabbed my gratitude journal. Do you have yours? I did. I ordered one online. I'm so excited. There's kind of a different way. Ladies, let's chat. Hi, I'm Cam holistic, health coach, mom to two humans and four pets. Hi, I'm Amelia, laboratory scientist by day and food scientist by night. Welcome to our show. Join us as we share our holistic approach to life. After 50, you can expect real life stories with a dash of humor and a ton of truth. If it happens in midlife, we're going to talk about it. So hit that subscribe button and follow along. We're the midlife mommas. Holly, I'm so glad you're on our show today. Welcome to the midlife mamas. Holly Bertone is a certified natural health coach and she's a meditation facilitator as well as an Amazon bestseller. Hello. Welcome to our show. We are so happy that you're here. She also has a podcast. It's called gratitude. Bills fortitude. She has been spent 20 years rising through the ranks of the federal government. Oh, my goodness. Service before breast cancer and autoimmune disease diagnosis created an opportunity to combine her background with project management and analytics to solve different sets of problems. These days, she's known as the transformational mindset Coach, who helps achieve better physical health, better emotional health, and better relationships with yourself with using gratitude, which is amazing. She has been featured in over 200 TV and radio segments, articles, podcasts, physical stages, and online summits as an expert on gratitude and mindset. And we are so thrilled that you are here. Holly, welcome. Thank you so much, Kam and Amelia. And thank you so much for having me on the show. I'm excited to be here and excited to connect with all your listeners. Yeah. So we have our gratitude journals in hand. And back in the day, Holly, I was an Oprah fan, and I remember writing my three things at the end of the day that I'm grateful for. And you have a different perspective on that. Would you share your thoughts on that? I do, and in fact, that's how I got started as well. Everyone tells you, make a list of three things you're grateful for and do it either when you wake up or right before you go to bed, or sometimes both. Right. And that's how we're taught. But then what the experts do is you read an article or you hear Oprah someone out there and they say, make a list of three things, but then they just kind of leave you high and dry. So you're like, okay, well, let's see. I'm grateful for my house, I'm grateful for my spouse, grateful for my kids. I'm grateful for my dog. Okay? Next day, I'm grateful for my house, I'm grateful for my spouse, I'm grateful for my kids, I'm grateful for my dog. Right? And that's kind of what it is. It becomes a list. It becomes a list, and that's what it is. It's a list to check off the box. And as women as sometimes overachievers. Right. We like checking the box. We like, okay, done. I made my gratitude list. Done. And that's where I say the experts get it wrong, is where making a list is a great way to start. But it's not gratitude, it's a list. So that's why I'm excited to talk more about that today. I'm 100% guilty of the list. What about you, Amelia? Yeah, I mean, I know we're both probably list checkers and we're busy, so I love that we're looking at it a different way. Holly, based on what Cam said in her introduction, you haven't had it easy all the time, and so I'm super impressed and I'm eager to hear your story. We hear a lot in mainstream media and social media about being grateful for challenges and how these are opportunities for growth. But the real life experience for me personally is that that is a challenge to really be grateful for all these things. So I'm just thrilled to have you here and thrilled to learn about your story and how that formed this incredible mindset change for you. Yeah, thank you so much. And I actually like starting my story with the day before everything just collapsed because I think it's important to really set the stage of I was that overachiever. I was the chief of staff for one of those three letter federal government agencies they make TV shows about, and I raced Xterra Triathlons. I was a competitive mountain bike racer. So I thought making a very comfortable six figure salary and standing on a podium and getting a medal around my neck and traveling all over the world and drinking margaritas with my girlfriends, like, to me, that was the perfect life and it was an awesome life. But on my 39th birthday, everything changed. And people see me today and they see me happy, and they see me dancing on Instagram. And just genuinely, I just got off a zoom call, and the host was like, holly, you are literally the happiest person I know. And I know a lot of people, but that wasn't the case, because on my 39th birthday, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. And that was when my world not just collapsed, but it was years and years and years of downhill health struggles. From that point, I went through surgery, chemo, radiation, and when treatment ended, I was supposed to get better. And I'm looking around in support group and all the ladies are out there running those pink ribbon five K races. I'm like, I can't get out of bed. Something is wrong with me. And coming from a place of being a competitive athlete, my doctors are like, it's going to take time to get better. I'm like, no, something is wrong. A year later, I was diagnosed with Hashimoto's thyroiditis, which is an autoimmune condition, and a very slow and sluggish thyroid, which then really everything just kicked off. Basically what became debilitating, chronic fatigue, to the point where, in 2017, my health was so bad that my dream job, the three letter federal agency that I was working for, the mean girls were my managers were mean girls, and they came in and decided to illegally rescind all of the approved HR paperwork. The FMLA, if you're in the United States listening and basically forced me to resign. So it was rock bottom one, two, and three with my health between the breast cancer, the hashimoto's, and then the debilitating chronic fatigue. And this was a point where I was married at the time. I had a stepson. I'm in bed. I can barely get out of bed, and I can barely function. I feel like an absolute failure because my entire identity was wrapped around being that successful career person and being a wife and being a stepmother. And at this point, I can't function. I can't do anything. And misery set in. Like, I was marinating in my own misery. I was just like, I can't. And the thing was, I accepted it because I thought, well, the rational mind kind of takes over. It's like, okay, well, after everything I've been through, then I guess I'm just supposed to feel like this for the rest of my life. Like, I've been through a lot. My body's been through a lot. Maybe it's just broken. Maybe I can't get better. And there was a level of acceptance that came with that from a place of not necessarily the victimhood, but just from a place of, this is just how my body's supposed to be right now. And at one point, I decided that I'm done. Like, I am done being this miserable. I'm done being all but bedridden, and something has to change. And my mother had a life mantra. I heard it every single day of my life growing up, and she always said that it builds fortitude, and it was her life mantra. It was one of my favorite things, even though I really didn't know what it meant. But it wasn't until I went through my own health challenges that I kind of thought, well, maybe it just means staying strong. Like, I'm going to stay strong and have that fortitude and mental strength as I'm going through these health challenges. And when I really started to kind of lean into that and lean into her legacy and really make a decision that this is not okay, and something needs to change. And that was when I took what I like to call radical responsibility for my health and my life and started to just pick myself up and figure out, how can I get better? How can I make my life better, even though it is what it is, and really leaning into her legacy and trying to solve that puzzle. What was the it that she was talking about and looking at her life and everything that she stood for and everything that she did, it was gratitude. It was her grateful heart that really elevated her through all of the tough times. And then that's when I started to lean into what this gratitude is, what this fortitude is. And I studied the science and the psychoanalimmunology and the neuroplasticity and how it's not just, oh, go gluten free, or oh, just drink more water. Oh, just sleep more. It's like, oh, just do this and oh, just do that. And I did the, oh, just do things right. I did everything, and nothing moved the needle. And it wasn't until I really started to address the emotions and address kind of that inner healing and that inner state and connect all of the pieces and realized that gratitude really was at the top of the food chain. Gratitude was the catalyst that made everything happen for me. And that's why I'm so excited to shout it from the rooftops. Like, gratitude is not a list. I mean, it can be a list, but real, true gratitude comes from the heart, and it literally has the ability to change the cellular structure of your body and change your brain chemistry and change your life. So, Holly, if I may, how long was the journey from the time of diagnosis until the time of reckoning, if you will, the moment of radical what did you say? Radical? Radical responsibility. Responsibility. Like, how long were we talking about here? I'd say about eight years, give or take. Wow. So I'm thinking, like, a couple of years. So we're talking a very long time of processing emotionally, mentally, and obviously physically, all that was happening. Wow, that's incredible. There are a lot of years of struggles. Yes. When was the first time you realized your life had permanently changed? Wow. I was going to say the cancer diagnosis, but I think it was feeling the lump. That very, very first I felt the lump, and I knew deep down that unwavering, knowingness that that's what it was. And I think that was kind of the first part, like, life is never going to be the same again. But a month after a diagnosis, I felt this peace come over me. And I can't explain it. I just kind of call it like, God's peace. And it was almost like it was imprinted into my soul that breast cancer was my gift. And I think part of it was our brains, our emotions. Like, they listen to what we say. The words that we say to ourselves matter. And the fact that I was so snarky and sarcastic is that snarkastic. I kept joking about getting breast cancer on my birthday. I mean, literally was joking about it and being very sarcastic about it. And I kept saying, oh, girls get most girls get flowers or earrings. My gift was breast cancer. And I said that over and over and over again, that at one point, I was like, wait, my gift is breast cancer. But that was 2010, and I had no idea, no clue what it meant. It wasn't until 8910 years later that I really started to unpack and unravel what that meant. So during this journey, Holly, when you came to these realizations, was it through support of your family or your mom or a therapist? I can't even imagine. I don't know that I would have been as successful coming through something this grave on my own. It was just my sheer will to get better. I mean, that's really all that it was. It's amazing. Just that inner drive every single day. Once I made that shift into radical responsibility, it was just sheer will to get better every single day. And I tell my clients, choose your heart, because being sick is like being that level of sick is like a full time job. It is literally like a full time job, and it is miserable. But the journey to better health, when you are in that depending on, obviously the level but when you're in that level of ill health, the journey is very hard to get back to health, to get back to better health. And it's just a matter of choosing your hard. And that's the one that I chose. And I know we've got a lot of questions and answers about gratitude itself, but I got one more thing. I'm really struck by this radical responsibility. Will you just unpack that just a little bit for us? Because I need that frame of reference to continue the rest of the talk. Yeah, absolutely, Amelia. And I'm glad you asked that, because my surgeon, when I had my first meeting with my breast cancer surgeon and I was 39, right, she put her hand on my knee and she said, lightning struck, meaning, I don't know what happened. It just happened. You're 39. You're quote, unquote, too young to get breast cancer. And to her, they were comforting words. To me at the time, they were comforting words meaning, how did this happen? Right? It wasn't from a place of why me. It was from a how on earth did this happen? Logical mind took over. I'm like, how did this happen? And at the time, I needed to hear those kind words. But in doing so, in saying that this just happened because of some random act, I did not have any responsibility for my health. It was just, okay, I'm just going to go through the motions, do what the doctors tell me, and then get better on the other side. So years later, when I was in that place of radical responsibility, it was looking back at that diagnosis saying, okay, let's see. I was drinking six cans of Coca Cola a day, so maybe that contributed. I was bullied as a child, so I've got some little tea aces going on. Maybe that was a factor. I grew up in a rural community with a lot of pesticides. Maybe that was a factor. I ate a bag of Eminem's for lunch every day and the ones with the peanuts, because protein, of course, can't got to get your protein in, right? So looking back, I was just an overachiever, like, to the max, like twelve hour work days, right, and racing triathlons, like pushing my body to the limits. You add all of these things together and it really creates kind of a toxic soup in an environment where the disease state can happen. And looking at if I were to have just accepted that lightning hit, that means that, okay, well, this was just random. So it doesn't matter what I do or I don't do. Random things just happen. And, yeah, true, random things may happen, but when I take a step back and I say, okay, let's clean up my health, let's clean up my environment, let's clean up the toxins, let's do all these things that create a healthier mind and body, that gives me ownership. That gives me I am now empowered and I now have ownership of my body. And I still don't have control over the randomness of life. But I can stack the cards in my favor. And that really is what I see is from that responsibility factor, is I am responsible for the foods that I eat. I'm responsible for getting my movement in every day. I'm responsible for getting a good night's sleep, I'm responsible for keeping my stress down. I'm responsible for the relationships, the people that I have in my life. Like, all of these things I am responsible for. And that's really how I define that level of radical responsibility. That was beautiful. That was absolutely beautiful. And I love that your journey brought you to this stage and then you tied it to gratitude because that is not a logical connection at all. Holly. Not at all. I totally agree. And thank you for that explanation. Cam and I talk all the time about on the podcast, not quite in such concrete terms, but about your ability to have control over some things and control responsibility. Those are kind of interlocking links in a chain to me. But I love that you see that as things you can do, because not only is it empowering, in my opinion, it's freeing. So many women are so caught up in the shoulds and they see them as the shoulds instead of the coulds. And I know we did that's not been very long ago, Cam. We did an episode where we talked about reframing in this way that I get to do these things for myself. So gratitude is another thing that you get to do. I mean, you get to have this grateful, open, vulnerable heart that allows you to see things in this way. So one of the questions is when we talk about gratitude and a gratitude practice, which has become such a catchphrase, what is the biggest mistake that you see that people or the pitfall that people get into when they try to begin this practice. Yeah, I think, and we kind of talked about this at the very beginning, is that very first big mistake that I see is that people think, oh, it's a list of three things. And they think about it as a list, as something to check off, and they don't actually feel gratitude. And that's really to be able to feel gratitude is so much different than to just make a list of three things. The other thing, too, is that people think that gratitude is just this airy fairy, rainbows and unicorns and puppy kisses and butterfly kisses and this kind of like, pie in the sky, fluffy thing that just kind of gets thrown around. And gratitude has so many science backed aspects to it in terms of how it can improve our health, how it can help us to exercise more, to have enough energy, to have more energy, to exercise more, to get better sleep to have better relationships to help decrease our anxiety to help decrease depression. To give us years add years to our life. To increase our immune system to lower our blood pressure. Like all of these things. It has so many benefits, health benefits that I think so many people like to dismiss gratitude or think it's just the word that we pass around at the Thanksgiving table, but it has so many different health benefits, and then it's okay. Well, I practiced the gratitude, and I made my list of three things, and it's not working for me. So then, therefore, it doesn't work and it's stupid and it's this silly thing, right? So I think that's kind of the trap that a lot of people fall into, is they just and again, it's to no one's fault. No one explains what gratitude does and what it is and how it can literally change the chemistry in your body. Why do you think it's so difficult for people to get started on the gratitude? Yeah, and I think back to that list of three things. Like, the list of three things doesn't work for most people, and they're like, okay, so no one tells you what else that you can do. What I found is, are you familiar with the disc personality at all? The dise? I am familiar, yes. Yeah. So actually, one of the ways I like to kind of talk about gratitude right, in the very beginning, before people really develop it on their own, is I like to say to meet gratitude where gratitude is at, and let gratitude meet you where you're at. So when you meet a new friend or you have a kid, everyone's got their own personality, and you're like, okay, well, maybe you've got two kids, and each kid's a little bit different. Your interaction with one kid is a little different than your interaction with the other kid just because of their personality or their temperaments or whatever. And gratitude is kind of the same way and even on any given day, right, we have our mood swings, we have our ups and downs in life, and there's days that even I don't want to be grateful. So to let gratitude in and realize that it doesn't have to be this big thing, that it can be the small moments to be able to let gratitude in where you're at. But I like to also approach it from a personality base in that there's four different kind of personality quadrants in this disc methodology. That fourth one are the list makers. So there's approximately 25% of the population who are listmakers who are going to love the gratitude list, right? But there's going to be other people like the drivers, the more kind of dominant personality. They're going to be the ones that are going to be the leaders at the family dinner table and just kind of leading that gratitude session for everyone or making a game, like trying to just up themselves, like one up themselves on gratitude every time and hey, I'm going to do it every single day. They're going to be more of the driving personality, the ones who are more of the, what I used to call the influencers, the social butterflies. They're going to want to pair up with a friend or post on social media, and they're going to want to make a big public splash about their gratitude and have conversations with their friends and share on social media, do the things that's a little bit more kind of public and a little more splashy and flashy. There's going to be the people who are a little more on the heart centered side, the more kind of the softer personality, the more serene personality, and the more sensitive, and they're going to be more heart centered with their gratitude and really feel it deep. So we all have different ways that we can get started based on our personality. And there isn't one way that fits all. And again, even day to day. But the overarching theme is that you actually do feel it, and you feel it deep. And as deep as it can go, there's days that I feel it really deep. There's days that I don't want to be grateful. And I'm a gratitude coach, right? So it's letting it meet you where you're at on that given day and then being able to use your own gifts and talents to accept gratitude in. So Holly, would you say that if you're new to this concept to try to feel something deep, does it need some sort of meditation practice to go along with it, to augment feeling this way? What are the triggers? Tends to be a negative word, but prompts, are there any prompts that we can use? Yeah. So meditation and gratitude go together. I don't really eat peanut butter and jelly, but it's still the best kind of go together like peanut butter and jelly until I can find a different kind of go together. But they do. They go together like peanut butter and jelly. You don't need one or the other to have you don't have to have both together, but they really do combine. And the other thing that you can add in there is your religion, faith, or spiritual practice. So gratitude is nondenominational, right? Everyone 8 billion people on the planet, we can all practice gratitude, regardless of the God that we worship or the faith that we believe in or the religious practice or the spiritual practice, right. Gratitude is for all of us. I also like to connect to something, and whether that is through meditation or through prayer or through your spiritual practice, it really just amps it up, and it really just elevates that gratitude practice. I love that because it is about more than just ourselves, our little tiny selves. We're just part of a big universe, right? Yeah. So, Holly, on the days that you don't feel like feeling grateful, is there something like, what do you do to kick yourself out of that? Do you have a practice? Yeah, I actually let myself not be grateful. Okay. But I'm also one of those people, and again, I know myself, right? I know that a good night's sleep is going to fix it all. So the days that I don't feel grateful, it's okay. I don't have to be grateful. 24/7 even as a gratitude coach, it's okay to feel the feels. It's called being normal and human, right? We all have those days. We all have those moments, whether it's a minute or an hour or an entire day. And I let myself feel the feels. I talk to my emotions. I'm like, okay, hey, what's up? Whatever's going on, whether it's fear or anxiety or jealousy or anger, whatever's hanging out at the moment, I literally I'm like, hey, they just show up at the door, right? I open the door, I'm like, hey, what's up? Come on in. Let's have some coffee, right? And we have a conversation. So, yeah, I'm talking to myself, and I'm talking to my emotions, but it's acknowledging that they're there. It's feeling them and then letting them go. And I think that's half the battle with the students and the clients that I see that have some kind of disease state is that we have these stuck emotions, that we suppress it, that we let it in, that for some reason we feel like we have to be the Wonder Woman and do it all. And we're not allowed to feel sad or we're not allowed to feel angry or not allowed to feel bitter. Yeah, we are. We're allowed to feel all of it, especially at this age, right? We've got the kids and the parents and the jobs and the menopause and all the things going on. Right. There is a lot of feelings going on with that. So feel it, feel it deep, feel it good, and then let it go. There's a saying that everyone says it's okay to not be okay. I like to add it's okay to not be okay, but it's not okay to not be okay and not do something about it. I love that. I worked with a therapist for years in my 40s when I was going through my first divorce, and he would say his name is Michael. Emotions are in motion. They're in motion, and if we don't let them move, they get stuck in our body. And we know from a spiritual point of view that's not a good thing. We need things to move out of our body. So I love that. We also agree with you that sleep solves all problems. So a good night's sleep just changes the world and your outlook. So I love that you feel your feelings and just know, hey, tomorrow will be better. It's almost like a visitor coming into your home. You're like, okay, and it's time for you to go now. Goodbye. It's been a great visit. Here's your coat. Thanks for stopping by. I love it. And I actually have a story, if I have time to share a story about that. When my mother passed away, I was also at the beginning stages of all of this and feeling like I had to feel grateful, even though I felt sad and I was grieving. And so it was almost like, not really sure of what I'm supposed to do with this. So I let myself grieve. But then I was like, okay, I feel like I should get out of this. I feel like I should move on at some point here. So I'm like, okay. I want to be grateful. I was like, no, I really don't want to be grateful. And the funniest thing was that what came into my mind. I had this little yellow mechanical pencil, and it almost kind of reminded me I was so attached to that thing. What was the guy from Office Space with his red swing line stapler? I don't know if you remember that movie. Yeah, right. Yeah. So it was almost like that. I kind of was kind of addicted to this little yellow mechanical pencil. And it was the funniest thing because it was like the dueling banj on my shoulders. Like, I should be grateful. I don't want to be grateful. I should be grateful. I don't want to be grateful. And the next thing you know, I am thinking about this little yellow pencil and how grateful I was with this little yellow pencil and how happy it made me feel. And I'm like, this is a stupid little yellow pencil. Like, I don't know how much they are.$0.99? This is ridiculously stupid. And then I started laughing because of how absolutely silly it was. And then I was thinking about how much it. Made me happy, and then I was laughing, and then all of a sudden, I was like, that's how it works. That's great. I know. Fast forward. You went through another challenging time recently, and you went through a divorce, so I know gratitude was probably put to the test. Can you tell us a little bit about that? Yes, it was. In fact, I literally just recorded a podcast episode that tells the whole story. So if you want every single nitty gritty detail, you can go listen to that after this episode. Our divorce was very private, and so there's no Real Housewives drama or shenanigans or anything like that. It was just me putting gratitude to the test. And Kim, you had a front row seat to a part of that and just really appreciate your friendship, just have an entire heart full of love for you and being there for me during that time. And I could look at it from a place of the victim. The woe is me, and I could blame everything on my ex, and I could do all the things that really put me into that space, or I could say, you know what? Let's just take everything that I've learned to do myself, everything that I teach my clients, everything I teach my students, and let's put this to the test at a bigger level. And it was interesting because from a place of that inner integrity, right. I felt out of alignment. If I even tried to feel the bitterness and the anger, it was really difficult to feel it, even though I wanted it to come out like I should be feeling these things. And the predominant feeling that I had was loving compassion for someone who I shared 14 years of my life with, who I raised his son, my stepson as my own, and just having a heart full of love through that entire experience and being able to show up through the whole process and have that level of forgiveness and loving compassion. And there are days that it just really I surprised myself with how I was showing up, and I also think that that really impacted how he showed up as well during the whole process. And I'm not saying we had the easiest divorce under the sun, but it certainly was I think it surprised both of us at how I don't want to say easy, but I know another word. I mean, it really was and being able to look at it from that place of opportunities instead of all the problems and look at it from a place of new beginnings instead of the woe is me. And hating the fact that my life is turned upside down and in total upheaval and having to move and all of the things and looking at it a place from I get to start a new life and reinvent my own life versus missing my big, beautiful house and the life that we had. So it really did. I really put to the test. And here's the whole gratitude builds fortitude that this is the hill I die on, right? Name of my podcast. It's what I teach. It's how I teach. And that gratitude helps to build mental strength and resilience. It's one of the ripple effects of gratitude and one of the health benefits that it has. And when you can get to that place where you can start looking at things like you were talking about the reframe, right? Looking at things from a place of opportunities and solutions and from loving compassion and happiness and being grateful for it all, including the bad times that builds that mental resilience and the neurons in our brain that fire together, wire together. And the more that we can build that in our brain, the more that we can change our brain's chemistry, the more that the next time something happens, we just show up automatically as a totally different human being. So not showing up from a place of the crazy emotions and the out of control emotions and the bitterness and the hatred and the anger and all the things that typically come up when people get divorced. I was literally waking up every day with a heart full of love. And there were days I'm like, this is weird. This is really weird. This is not normal. But then I was like, this is what I teach. This is why this works. And it really was. I put it to the test. And it's funny, I shouldn't be surprised because this is what I teach and this is what I see, the results and my students and how I got through it. So I shouldn't be surprised, but I was surprised. I was like, wow, this actually really works. Thank goodness it works, right? Yeah. When you're holding that level of resonance, if you will. So your ex probably came to you rather than you going to him. So it's kind of like energy feeds energy. I love it. I love that. That was a great story. Yeah. Thank you. It is a great story, Holly. And for me, I have not been through divorce, but I have been through the death of a parent and some other difficulties. We all have our difficulties, right? But the amount of freedom that I see to live life like this is so remarkable. I've lived some of my adult life not in fear, but with a certain amount of anxiety about what I couldn't control. And having gratitude like you're describing just feels like if not the perfect antidote to that, a very good substitute emotion, if you will, to kind of reframe that. And I can't even imagine how this might have felt for you, and kind of an AHA moment that this truly works. And I'm in awe. I love your story, and I love specifically that, because A, it sounds like it was recent, and B, it resonates with so many people. Yeah. Thank you. And there were certainly moments of feeling the feels. I mean, they were certainly there, but they didn't last long. And that overarching, like I said, just kind of that overarching every day, just feeling that love in my heart. And I was like, I really attribute that to the gratitude and not being in that place of being angry or bitter about what happened in the past, not being in that place of being fearful anxious about the future, but just being happy and grateful and having this love for what is going on in my moment right now. It's beautiful. Holly, I really appreciate you sharing that story with us. Yeah, thank you. I agree. Is there anything else? Did we miss anything? I have been wrapped with every word and just entranced with what you've had to say. Do you have any other advice for people before we close up? It is a journey. Cam and I always kind of joke, just do the reps, do the reps, do the reps. I know your listeners are going to really resonate with this, but first of all, you can't go to the gym and expect your trainer to do the push ups, and then you walk away with perfectly toned arms. You can't go to the gym, do one push up and be like toned arms. Nail it, right? Totally. Yeah. You have to do the reps every single day. Just like you build the muscles in fitness, just like you eat healthy, just like you sleep every night, just like you brush your teeth every single day. Right. Gratitude, at some point, you do it from a place of action until it becomes a place of being. And when it becomes that place of being, then it's just automatic, right? You don't even think about it. It's just there. It's just part of your DNA. It's how you show up. And it's almost like walking and breathing. It's just so automatic. And that's really when it happens. It's not an on off switch. It's not like, one day you're going to be like, oh, I'm grateful, and one day and like I said, day to day, too, there's going to be levels of the days that you're like, I just don't really feel it right now. But that overarching theme of feeling it, feeling that love in your heart, feeling that high vibration and just being okay with everything, being grateful for it all and not being afraid for what's around the corner, that's really where gratitude becomes who you are rather than something that you do. I love it. You're literally rewiring your brain. Instead of seeking danger, it's automatically going to gratitude versus danger. That's awesome. Holly, where can we find you? On the socials. Yeah. So I play on Instagram. Everyone's all over the place. I just hang out on Instagram and it's Holly. Bertone. Bertone. And yeah, so you can hang out there and also the Gratitude Builds Fortitude podcast. When you're finished listening to this episode, you can go hang out over there too, right? And you have YouTube as well? I do. I have a brand new YouTube channel. So yeah, awesome. We're so happy that you were able to join us today and talk to us about gratitude. Thank you so much. I appreciate being on the show. Thanks for listening today. You can find us on Instagram at midlife mamas. For all of our other contact info, check out the show description below and we will talk to you next week.